Newsletter the Thirty-first

Have you ever cared about something so much that it made you ache, and you tried to explain it to someone else and they just didn't get it? Or have you ever been around someone who deeply cares about something that just makes no sense to you? I'm increasingly convinced this is a big part of what's going on in politics and social media today. And it's hard to remember that people who don't care like you do aren't bad people… they just care differently.

For example, for most liberals like me, it's really hard to understand how conservatives could care so much about paying attention to authority, or loyalty to their cause — and they care more about that than helping minorities or people in need. This feels deeply wrong to us, but as Jonathan Haidt and others have pointed out (in the fields of moral psychology and moral relativism), the way they feel is not wrong — it's just different.

I remember when our boys were little and one said to the other, "vanilla ice cream is bad." The other disagreed and a fight was brewing. So we started teaching about subjectivity and to say phrases like, "I feel that…" or "In my opinion…"

Perhaps we need to say those phrases more in social media? In politics?

Because you can't answer an "I feel" question with "you're wrong." (Well, you can, but you'd be a jerk to tell me how I feel. Only I can say how I feel.) But you can answer it with, "wow, that's weird…" or "that is the opposite of how I feel"… and then you can ask questions!

I care deeply about my country and our world. So do all the conservatives I know. But what that looks like — what we care about — seems to differ dramatically. What if neither they nor I were a bad person, just because we care differently?

Joie de Sprache

Like so many people, I learned just enough of a foreign language in school to inquire about a pen or a toilet. But I also learned one more thing: to enjoy the act of learning a little about a language. For example, I love learning how to say "thank you" in various languages (kamsahamnida! shukran!), or say hello, or count from one to ten. But my favorite thing is to learn just enough words so that I can start making silly jokes with them.

For example, I enjoy calling my cat "neko-sama" (Honorable cat) or "el super-gato." One of my favorite Flight of the Conchords songs is "Foux Da Fa Fa," in which a man tries to impress a woman by singing every word he can think of in French, including baguette, pamplemousse, and boeuf. (Today, just saying these words makes me laugh.)

As kids, whenever my sister and I would get in the car, my dad and step-mom would shout a safety reminder: "Belt-on-shaung!" (a play on the German Weltanschauung, or "individual worldview").?

I almost guffawed when I read the name of the setting in Wes Anderson's newest film: the fictional French village of Ennui-sur-Blasé. It's not the words themselves that are amusing, but there is something delicious about merging languages that reminds me of building with a box full of old Legos.

I'm sure that the difficult task of becoming fluent in a language is rewarding, and perhaps I'll try it someday. But in the meantime, I'll revel in just how fun it is to learn a little. After all, as Steve Martin liked to joke about other languages, "It's like they have a different word for everything!"

(Not Just for) Kids Films

Hey, speaking of Wes Anderson… I love "kids" films that are written for grownups to enjoy. In fact, many of the best, must-see "children's" films were clearly made more for us than them. Here are my favorites (in no particular order):

• Spirited Away?(plus Howl's Moving Castle, My Neighbor Totoro, Nausicaa, Princess Mononoke, and other Studio Ghibli movies)
• Kubo and the Two Strings (plus Boxtrolls and other Laika films)
• Surfs Up
• The Lego Movie
• Fantastic Mr. Fox
• My Life as a Zucchini
• Chicken Run (plus all the Wallace & Gromit movies from Aardman Studios)
• Bolt
• Zootopia
• Babe
• ParaNorman
• Frankenweenie
• The Little Prince
• Inside Out

What films are missing from this list?

Thank You!

I enjoy sharing my musings… and I enjoy hearing yours! Feel free to follow this newsletter, share it with a friend,?follow me on LinkedIn, and send me feedback. You can always reach me at [email protected]