Newsletter 2 - Are you Wasting Mental Effort?

Observing the people around me, it’s amazing how much time they spend on things that they can’t do anything about.?And it’s not just time that gets wasted, it’s mental energy, since it’s ultimately depressing to spend most of your time on things where you will inevitably lose.

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Things you can’t do anything about:

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The Past:?

Harking back to the past gets you nowhere.?You can learn from it, but you can’t change it.?People sometimes go around the same loop over and over.

Brooding: “If only…”?Blaming yourself: “Why on earth did I do that??”?Ruminating angrily: “I can’t believe he said that!”?Doubting: “I just don’t know whether I should have done that”.?Tormenting:?“I was SO near to succeeding…”?Guilt: “Am I a bad person??I mean, we should really have gone to that party, shouldn’t we?”?etc.

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The answer is that, right or wrong, it’s done now, so move on!

I think the first step is to realise how much time and energy is wasted by these thought processes, and maybe get a buddy to point it out when you do it.

Instead think “Given I am where I am now, what’s the best plan from here?”

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The Future:?

There is nothing to be gained by worrying about things in the future.?Of course?planning?is a good idea, but worrying isn’t the same as planning, in fact it’s usually the opposite, since it’s not detached and analytical, and it involves taking no action at all. Often worrying is a substitute for planning rather than a driving force towards it.

I read somewhere that the average number of times that people attempt difficult things is less than one. So most people either try only once and then give up, or they don't try at all. If you worry about failing you may end up not trying, ...which is pretty much failure in another form!

One form of worrying is “Yes but what if….?”.?The answer is to make a plan, maybe with options in case things happen, and plans for risk – either to make it less likely to go wrong or make it less serious if it does happen. Think “Given I am where I am now, what’s the best plan from here?”?

Interesting that both the past and the future have the same answer.

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So – what are?your?thought processes like? Do you spend too much time thinking about the past, or too much time worrying about the future - or have you got both of those under control in your mind?

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Onwards and upwards!

Chris