News Flash! What just happened ...

This is my second attempt at writing this week's newsletter. I was determined to focus on proper "news" this week but my first attempt was a. very boring and b. interrupted by the men's final at Wimbledon, so I'm trying again. It could be somewhat out of date.

News in the Old Days

My late father loved the news. He read the Daily Telegraph (his excuse was he liked the sports coverage) from cover to cover every day of his life.

This meant he was a fountain of information about world events, beginning most sentences with "I was just reading in the Telegraph that ...". He could also tell you how good a play/film was without ever seeing it, all based on the critics' reviews. And he studied the TV schedules ahead of time to work out what he was going to watch at 9pm every evening (at which point he allowed himself a "small" whiskey).

That was then. You watched what was on the telly at 9, the News was the News and tittle tattle was for the tabloids, mostly. Unless a famous actor/ TV personality/politician was found to have had an "affair", particularly if said affair had led to a "love child". Quaint.

Last week the "News" on the BBC was led by speculation, commentary and pontification not just about the actions of a presenter but also, bizarrely, about the reporting, investigation and coverage itself. Talk about naval gazing.

So, if you missed it, here's my attempt to fill you in on the old fashioned "news".

The News

Public Sector Pay Awards

We are back in Alice in Wonderland territory. Rishi Sunak took his time but finally came out to say he was accepting the recommended public sector pay awards of 5 - 7%. But don't worry, they are not going to be funded by debt (this is very important due to the state of the Government finances, more on that below.).

Instead, he has a cunning plan. Wait for this one ...

Increased spending on wages in the NHS will be funded by charging migrants more to apply for visas and to access healthcare. Now, I thought the plan was to stop the boats and cut immigration. Does this mean that we now want more immigration? I also thought I'd read somewhere that we weren't actually processing very many visa applications and didn't realise that "migrants" had such deep pockets. Who knew.

OBR Forecast

The OBR published its six monthly "Fiscal Risks and Sustainability" report last week. You could see why the Government were not keen on it attracting a lot of publicity. Journalists generally did them a favour by not examining it in much detail (far easier to huff and puff about the BBC, other journalists, the Sun etc etc).

It' doesn't make very comfortable reading. I'll summarise:

1. We're getting less healthy. This isn't great. Economic growth will be difficult because unhealthy people are not productive: they're not working, thus are not paying taxes and increase the amount we spend on healthcare.

1. We're over reliant on gas and not spending enough to transition to green technologies. On the face of it, we can't afford the expense but the irony is that if we don't invest now we will be exposed to higher gas prices in the future. This is what's known as a "FALSE ECONOMY".

1. Public sector debt has reached an all time high of 100% of GDP and shows no signs of falling. Quite the reverse, in fact. This is because we have an ageing population, are spending more on defence and have persistently high levels of inflation and interest rates. Oh, and compared to other countries more of our public sector debt is owed to foreign lenders.

Nice isn't it. You can see why the papers are sticking to celebrity tittle tattle.

Politics

Same old. Two more Tory MPs announced they are standing down at the next election. Ben Wallace, who seems to be a decent bloke who has tried hard, and some guy called Andrew who, apparently, has been under investigation by the Met since 2020. Andy was arrested last May, remains on bail and hasn't been in the Houses of Parliament since. So he won't be missed.

The Tories may be planning to abolish Inheritance Tax in the hope that a tax cut - any tax cut - will save the next election. This is very foolish. Hardly anyone in the red wall pays it and it plays into the hands of the "Tories are for the wealthiest" brigade.

If current form is anything to go by, Kier Starmer will "refuse to rule it out" or avoid making any commitment on any tax plans of any sort. (Breaking news - latest U turn is that he is no longer committed to scrapping two child limit on child benefit).

Film News

Forget Barbie & Oppenheimer. Old News. Hugh Grant is playing an Oompa Loompa in new film Wonka. If you're short of time, skip forwards to 2.05. It will make you laugh. Might make up for the OBR news,

My News

Spain Has Changed

I think I mentioned before, I've decided to learn to speak Spanish. It's not going very well. My mum, who does speak Spanish, told me the book I was using was rubbish and brought me her original copy of "Living Spanish" which she promised would do the trick.

Talk about throw you in at the deep end. Never mind learning to say "Hello" and "My name is" you get straight into a story about Manuel, a peasant, who lives in the country and who has a goat and a donkey but does not have a cow. The story is followed by exercises and bits of explanations.

I quote:

"Many peasants in Spain are too poor to possess cows ...". It was first published in 1949.

Here is the front cover. Manuel on his donkey. He's even wearing a sombrero.

It's very good but I began to suspect that some of the cultural references were out of date so you'll be happy to know that I'm now working from a revised version, published in 2012.

Manuel is still there but he is a farmer, not a peasant. He has a tractor, not a donkey. He still doesn't have a cow, although there is no longer any reference to Spanish farmers being too poor to afford cows.

New Game in Town

My daughter is back from her latest holiday. She doesn't have the patience for scrabble so we're playing cards. I'm better at Scrabble.

Unlike my father, she gets all her news from Tik Tok, Snapchat and her mates. I had been going to lecture her on the value of proper journalism and encourage her to read a newspaper from time to time but after last week I'm not so sure that would be a good thing.

Her "news" also contains plenty of tittle tattle, with a couple of stories in particular doing the rounds. But since they're the old fashioned sort (see above) and don't involve any hint of anything other than heterosexuality I doubt they'll see the light of day.

(Do we think, by the way, that there may have been a hint of homophobia in the recent coverage of those two TV personalities' troubles?)

Goldilocks Weather

Is it "just right" anywhere?

I'm reading: Living Spanish - the 2012 version.

Also reading: Why I Write by George Orwell. Thought provoking. (Spoiler alert, it wasn't to make people laugh). And A Year of Marvellous Ways by Sarah Winman. Evocative, beautiful.

I'm listening to: Coffee Table Spanish podcast

I'm watching: The Sixth Commandment. I love Timothy Spall and Ann Reid. The underlying message seems to be that had there been a more tolerant approach to homosexuality Peter Farqhuar would not have been as vulnerable as he was and might still be alive. Timely.

By the way, back to Orwell, the last essay in "Why I write" is called "Politics and the English Language".

He complains about how ugly, slovenly, foolish, pretentious and meaningless political language has become. He offers plenty of examples and suggests some basic rules. I hope I try to follow these (my co-author @DeborahKhan was always banging on about 2, 3 and 4:

1. Never use a metaphor or simile which you're used to seeing in print
2. Never use a long word where a short one will do
3. If it's possible to cut out a word, cut it out
4. Never use the passive if you can use the active
5. Never use a foreign phrase, scientific word or jargon if you can think of an everyday English equivalent
6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous

I'm not sure I understand 6.