News Flash: America will survive election day. Will your relationships?

As we race through the final stretch of another election cycle, it’s fascinating to experience a time that will be written about and studied as “history” long after we are gone. ?I often wonder what history will record regarding how we related to one-another. Will we see the political process for what it is and use it as a process for building a country versus tearing it down? History suggests that our country can and will get through it, but what about “we, the people”?

If we worked and ran our businesses in the same way we orchestrate our politics, it would be quite difficult to find success in anything. The labeling, judgement, bickering, “whataboutism”, lack of dialogue, and inability to own mistakes would destroy most organizations from the inside out. Most of us would never conduct our real lives in that way, but politics has managed to not only infiltrate parts of our lives previously shielded from the process, but also has become an extension of personal identity. Great for political party affiliation. Horrible for real-life relationships.

My belief is that this country, and everything we do in it, works best, not when we are in total agreement, but when we share a vision that is bigger than each of us and more meaningful than our differences. Shared vision compels us to do what is required to get there, even if we must individually sacrifice something we believe is personally good to move toward something that is greater.

In speech after speech and ad after ad, political candidates make their case for why they are best for the job and why their opponent is the worst possible choice. They leverage sound bites, words, and images that evoke the one thing that causes us (the voters) ?to react much more quickly and intensely than we otherwise might—emotion. Outrage, anger, shock, and fear are some of the tried-and-true ones. All of these emotions tap into an innate and primitive response that bypasses logic and compels us to act and speak immediately, even if not effectively and logically. Let’s be clear…candidates don’t want your logic—they want your vote. And if it costs you a little social capital along the way, then so be it.

We must be honest with ourselves about our election process (…and by “we” I mean “you”). It is impossible to perfectly align with every single position held and every word spoken by any candidate in any race. Human beings are too complex and nuanced for that. But the reality is that complexity and nuance make for boring speeches and commercials. Simplicity sells. That works for politics. Not so much for true relationships.

There is something else. Candidates don’t care if your relationships endure or not. I am not even suggesting they should. The only relationships that matter to a political campaign are the ones that align you with their specific political faction. To the extent you adopt the position and platforms of a candidacy, the influence and voting power grows. Their work is done. For that reason, it is up to each of us to consider the value of our relationships and the relational power in our lives that we have yet to tap. The world is relatively small, considering our ability to see others and be seen. It is easy to alienate, vilify, dismiss, offend, etc., and to do it at shocking speed and scale. How can you be authentically supportive of your candidate(s) while preserving your professional and personal relationships?

Here are a few things I invite you consider as we cross the finish line:

#1—Everyone compromises…even you.?

No matter your political affiliation, there are concessions you have made to support whomever it is you support. There is no perfect alignment of values and beliefs. You make those compromises based on your own set of priorities.? The same goes for people who are political opponents. Here’s the problem—our current landscape attempts to make political opponents personal adversaries. Great for votes. Horrible for relationships. Are your compromises more acceptable or noble than someone else’s? Probably not. More reasonable dialogue might create more understanding, connection, and collaboration to create a country that works for us all.

#2—Want to talk politics? Prioritize relationship. Be honest.

Some people believe that you can’t talk about politics, religion, race, gender identity, etc., lest you step on a landmine. The fact is that you can talk about all those things and more. You simply must have an established relationship and posture of respect and value for the people you are engaging…first. Otherwise, there is nothing to lose, and when there is nothing to lose, it is easy to destroy everything in sight without a second thought. Also, refer to point #1. Be honest and own your compromises as you accept that others have very personal reasons for the compromises they make.

#3—Understand what the point of politics really is.

In short, the point of politics is to shape and operate the government with representatives of the people. The work of politicians is to gather support that promotes their candidacy and agenda. Whatever your feelings are about this process, it’s probably safe to say that modeling political parties and tactics are a poor way to organize and manage your day-to-day relationships. Consider the fact that campaigns often tear apart the character and record of the opposition, only to expect cooperation and teamwork when the ballots are cast and the elections are done (this even occurs within-party during primaries, by the way). Unfortunately, the current process ensures that there will be no cooperation when the elections end. The seeds have been planted for the next round of opposition. Battle lines are drawn, and the factions grow. Great for votes. Horrible for relationships.

Let’s be clear…candidates don’t want your logic—they want your vote. And if it costs you a little social capital along the way, then so be it.

#4—Political messaging can be inconsistent and dishonest. So can we.

Am I the only one who has difficulty accepting that politicians do not answer questions directly or admit mistakes? It also “grinds my gears” that people who have very strong ideals based on supposed deeply held values can shift so quickly based on allegiance to individuals versus commitment to those values. If we held consistently to our expressed values, the alignment would probably surprise most people. The choices of the candidates we put forward would also be likely to change. For now, can we just be honest about our inconsistencies? The conversations would be much more valuable, sincere and productive.

#5—America will survive. Make sure your relationships survive as well.

When it’s all said and done, relationships are the most important aspect of our being. I live in the Greater Augusta Area in Georgia.? Like many areas across the country, there are strong political factions here with deep divisions. We experienced Hurricane Helene just over a month ago. A hurricane. Direct hit. No one alive can recall anything like it in this area. ?After over a month, the level of destruction in certain areas of town is disorienting. The morning after the storm went through, it was clear that this was something different. Every single one of us was caught off guard. No power. No gas. Little food. Countless homes destroyed. Trees and power lines blocking nearing every road in town. There were no reporters sharing the destruction with the world. We were on our own, and we were going to need each other to make it through.

In those moments, political parties were meaningless. All that mattered was that our families and neighbors needed each other, and we stepped up. Whatever we had, we shared it. Whatever we needed, we found it. We sacrificed for one another, looked out for one another, and made sure that no one went without. We found new friends and family, often right in our own neighborhoods. The only thing that mattered was that everyone was safe, fed, and comfortable as we cleaned up and prepared to rebuild. We needed each other, and we came through for one another. We are still rebuilding.

I have visited many countries, and there is truly no place like America. We are not close to perfect, but I wouldn’t choose anywhere else. As we engage in the process of building and growing our country, the thing that ultimately matters is that we take care of one another. Our dialogue and vote will guide the direction of the country. Our relationships will shape our dialogue. We need each other. Let’s come through for one another. Cast your vote. Take care of your relationships. Let’s get to work. It will not be perfect, but we will never stop building.

Dr. Mike

Dr. Mike Perry is the Co-founder of KATALIS and Founder/Executive Director of UNITY 706, Inc. He is committed to helping leaders create spaces where people connect, grow, and stay. Dr. Mike and his team specialize in guiding difficult conversations and deepening relationships.?Book a 30-minute consultation with Dr. Mike HERE to discuss how to get your team aligned behind a shared vision and purpose.