A newly born Gandhi

She fidgeted with her gold bangles and the Mangalsutra that made her pretty restless. Applying the Sindoor that added an extra radiance to her glowing face was the only ritual she had adopted gracefully being the new bride. As everybody joked sipping over a cup of tea, she comforted herself sitting next to her lover, now a husband, Aditya, who was so full of pride, love and excitement of watching his family that he barely noticed his brides discomfort. Roshni never wanted to be the perfect daughter in law, she only aimed to be the perfect wife to her darling. Amongst all the hue, she noticed two eyes staring at her questioning her inability to make tea or even help with daily house hold chores(after all it had been 2 days post the wedding).

Those eyes found her guilty of not knowing the Do's and Don’ts of marriage and responsibilities of being a woman. Those eyes clearly showed disgust towards her care-free attitude of not trying to impress her in laws. As she navigated her attention towards the scorching vision, she found out it was non other than her mother-in-law. Keen an observer as she was, she also felt a natural bias in those eyes, admiration towards her sister in law –(prompt enough to cook and serve) and anger towards her husband who had made a terrible choice in his life .

Days passed and the new bride turned 3 months old. She roamed the house, burnt her fingers near the stove, cut herself as she fiddled with the kitchen knife, lifted heavy loads, sacrificed her sleep to wake up early to make tea, forgot how to relax and cozy up on the couch all this with one aim to be admired by her partner. All this, irrespective of constant complaining, cribbing and taunting by in laws. Slowly realization started creeping in - Nothing can replace the comfort, love, support and warmth she felt back then at her mother's place.

Thoughts of why women? Women treated as slaves, breaking the joint family and enjoying a separate identity, freedom from domination, marriage a wrong custom, ways to revolt floated in her naive little mind.

She patiently waited, bore the brunt not until one day she was asked to change her surname and at the marriage registrar office. She always considered her name and surname to be her identity and suddenly changing it and accepting a new surname was intolerable. She was persistent of keeping both and respecting her maternal and the newly found in laws but what hurt her the most was the adamant attitude and shaming through comments which targeted her parents indirectly. Hell broke lose when she saw how helpless her husband was trying to keep both the parties happy, she could see how she had lost being his priority through this incidence.

As time passed, those eyes still haunted her as she stealthily moved in her own house, supervising, waiting for her to fall prey to mistakes. She tried skipping this misery by rushing to office and spending time out, returning early enough to cook the evening meal. She wasn’t just miserable during the day, her nights to turned ruthless as the only person she tried sharing how miserable she was bluntly asked her to accept the situation and family instead of playing a blame game. She felt extremely lonely and depressed when the love of her life turned towards the wall and enjoyed a sound sleep, followed with deep snores while she wiggled sleeplessly, restlessly trying to break free from the prison.

She cried, sobbed to her heart's content behind the locked bedroom door replaying the days humiliation each night. She felt safe in her bedroom behind the locked door where she could be herself away from any judgments. One such night after a bitter fight when she rushed to the washroom in anguish to wash her face, the cold water struck her with a thought. The way she thought, felt and cursed her mother in law, what was the probability that the old woman could also be cursing and thinking about her in the same way and if this race for hatred continued it would surely result in family break up. Her husband would agree and accept her decision of living separate but she knew she would also lose the man who carried so much pride and love for his family in this selfish gain.

She had to stand strong and decide, not play the victim because seriously that was not working. She gazed at the mirror and now accepted a solution that love was the only way out. She started attracting good thoughts about her mother in law- "She is my mother. She loves me, cares for me, she wants me to improve." Surprised that she was she felt good within, she felt a heap of burden moved from her heart, she also felt a sense of maturity as she did not expect the same from her mother in law this time. She slept fearless and calm like a newly born Gandhi who loved his enemies. Next morning started on a good note she said to herself- “Today its going to be a great day- I love everyone and I am going to be happy no matter what” these words truly acted as a mission statement for the soldier. With her newly adored confidence she unlocked the bedroom door forever and entered the kitchen and there she saw her mother in law waiting for the milk to boil, she repeated to herself. “She loves me like a mother, she cares for me.”

She heard her mother-in-law's voice “Will you have tea?". To her surprise her mother-in-law offered her tea, with an elderly smile. As she sipped the hot, steamy cup with a sense of gratitude and victory she comforted herself sitting close to the newly discovered woman and mother whom she hated for so long .