New Year's resolutions do not work!

I will start with saying that I saw this statement in a social media platform and then, a post from a friend stuck in my mind for several days that made me think about writing this.

Resolutions sound all good, and people talk about them very excited of the “change” they will make this year, they have read that you have to verbalize it, put it on your “vision board” and share with others to they keep you honest and accountable. Some of us do it and some of us just keep those resolutions in our heads and commit to ourselves but, whatever we do, I have seen enough situations to conclude that in most of the cases they just don’t work. On the other hand, I have also observed how Healthy Routines and Smart Goals work!

Before sharing some examples and suggest a few healthy routine alternatives, let me provide additional perspective about Resolutions and Healthy Routines

To comply with our resolutions most often than not, we focus on doing less, cutting, eliminating, deducting or on the other side, doing a lot of extra effort, high intensity activities and dramatic changes.

Think about it: Do you honestly think that you or any human being will be happier, excited, and energized for doing less, cutting and subtracting? Or would it be sustainable doing extreme set of tasks or activities for long periods of time?. Using the most common example: lose weight! The majority of us will cut on carbs, eat less, no soda, no sugar, no nachos, no tortilla, skip dessert or the opposite, exercise 2-3 hours daily, including Saturdays and why not Sundays?. Join a gym and pay a fee so, it hurts when you miss it and forces to go because you already pay 3 months to get a discount and then, you hire a trainer and ask him for the High Intensity Training to feel sorry for yourself on Wednesday because you barely can move, your calves hurt and can’t even pick up a glass of water without your biceps or your hand shaking in pain.

Some aspects of Healthy Routines. They are not only for your body, think about healthy routines for your mind, soul, finances, relationships, etc. The word “Routine” for the majority of us means: “Daily”! This causes anxiety and can be a deterrent since the beginning. ?I offer you an alternative, in order to adopt a healthy routine, you can decide if it will be daily, every other day or once a week, just don’t fool yourself and try to do a “once a month”, leave that for your phone bill, your Netflix subscription or other fees paid automatically “once a month” from your account.

Routines should also be focused on reaching SMART goals, I try not to use acronyms but, this seems to work: Goals and Routines should be SMART:

S= they have to be Specific, worse than saying my resolution is to lose 10 pounds is to say I will lose weight this year.

M= They should be Measurable, in the case of losing weight, the measure is in pounds and you have a way to track it. True, when a healthy routine is for your mind it seems harder. Let’s assume your goal is to learn a new language, you can set your healthy routine in such a way that you practice or attend classes once or twice a week and, at the end of the year you will measure success if you complete 5 ?levels or move from beginner to intermediate.

A= Achievable, learning a new language in a year seems like a very good goal but, in a year? Again, moving from beginner to intermediate or complete 5 levels is achievable and you can see yourself doing it

R= Reasonable, this one can be confused with achievable but, with reasonable I mean achievable but challenging. Is it really reasonable to have as a goal to lose 1 pound in a year? Make it reasonable so, you feel good when you accomplish it. The same way with your routine, once a month is not a reasonable routine, once a week, every other day, takes discipline and makes it reasonable.

T= Tangible, mainly for you but, commit to Routines and set Goals that are noticeable. If you learn a new language or lose weight it is very noticeable. Routines are tangible if you modify your old behavior because for example, you share with friends that from now on Monday, Wednesday and Friday you go to the gym from 6-7 PM or you are attending a Yoga class, whatever your new Healthy Routine is.

Following find some resolution examples that don’t work and why with some healthy routine alternatives.

Resolutions mainly focus on an End point! And fail!

One of the main challenges is that most of the time, resolutions focus on and “end point” or “end state”. What do I mean with that? Let’s go back to the example that kept me thinking from the social media outlet, my friend’s post read something like this:

Resolution for..

2017: lose 15 pounds

2018: lose 20 pounds

2019: lose 25 pounds

2020: lose 30 pounds

2021: lose 35 pounds

2022: fight against the standards of beauty recognized by a society focused on looks and oppressing overweight people!

Initially, I laughed and kept scrolling, a couple of days later, I saw it again with a lot of comments that ranged from: “Yeah right?” to “Where and when will you start your protest? I will come with 3 friends that feel the same way”. This is when I realized that this resolution like many others, has a flaw and that’s why Resolutions seem to fail: they focus only on the end point without establishing how to get there and goals. Let’s be real, we all have been there, I mean trying to lose weight because we want to look better in the summer, we have a graduation to attend, or we are just mad that now we need to lay flat on bed to “fit the jeans” that we used to love and now we hate. Now, getting serious, the fact of the matter is that you have the “whole year” to meet your Resolution and accomplish your goal. If January does not go as planned you convince yourself that in February, you just need to work a bit harder, cut a bit more on carbs or actually go to the gym everyday and make worth the fee that you actually paid. ?The flaw is that the “Resolution” focuses on “an end point”.

Healthy Routine alternatives to achieve your goals

Step 1

“Cut it in pieces”. A routine means that it will take time, but you must stick to it. Quick wins, early wins or small improvements are part of the routine, you can track results, see the improvements, feel better day by day, week by week, provided your Routine and Goal are SMART! Your goal can be to lose 10 pounds, nothing wrong with that but, if you set goals by month and your monthly goal is to drop 1 (one) pound per month, you may lose 12 pounds instead of 10 or if you slide or get stuck in one month, you already made progress during the months before and can lose the 10 pounds at the end of the year.

Step 2

Make it about enhancing or adding and not about eliminating or deducting. Is “not eating carbs” really a routine? Or not drinking soda? Or skipping the desert you love? A healthy routine alternative will be to eat healthier, add greens, add grains, modify your diet, it will feel different since you are adding new flavors and new food to your diet. You are enhancing or adding not eliminating.

Step 3

Take advantage of other programs that require sticking to a healthy routine, if it costs you money and you can afford it even better!

I know someone that every year was committed to lose weight, this person was not overweighed from the start but every year was the same Resolution, I will say for the last 5 years. The tactics went from diets to miracle powders, to high exercise routines, more days at the gym, no junk food, every year was the same resolution and at the end, a sub-optimal non-sustainable result, How do I know? Well… the following year the resolution was the same. One day, halfway through the year during the pandemic my friend found on social media a couple of guys doing an “exercise and eating habits routine for free” as a trial period. My friend set a goal to lose x number of pounds in 2 months, invested on the program and committed to a daily exercise routine (except Sunday’s) but, the best part was that the program included routines for eating differently and not necessarily cutting or deducting, it was a progressive addition of new food, new ways of cooking, recipes for preparing foods, make food from scratch like making your own low-calorie granola, preparing salad dressings etc. The result was amazing, not only met her goal, and continues with the exercise routine, not as intense as it was at the beginning but, still does it, she follows the same eating habits, adds new foods, cooks differently and the result is sustainable! The secret was committing to new healthy routines.

Resolutions lack an “enabling” factor which make them short-lived and do not create healthy routines!

For example, this year your resolution is to save or make more money than last year. To accomplish this, you make sure you follow the SMART principle, it is Specific (pick a dollar amount), Measurable (in dollars), Achievable (10%-20% more than last year), Reasonable and Tangible, you get the point.

Watch out No.1, the routine you established is not healthy, and it is about eliminating and not necessarily enhancing or adding. I will not even mention that buying lottery tickets for the Power Ball or Mega Millions every Wednesday is not a “healthy” routine, it might be a routine but not a healthy one and, the odds are just not in your favor, nevertheless, some of us have been there and bought lottery tickets for a short period of time until we realize it is not a healthy routine. ?In the end, you don’t seem to find a way to making more money in your current situation. Other scenario is when you and your family (if you are lucky to have one) decide that to stop going out for dinner, no more ordering food, no movie nights and you will cut one or more subscriptions of streaming services. Put yourself in that situation, Will that be sustainable? Can you honestly modify your lifestyle and feel happy about it? How much can you really save? And most importantly, how are you going to use that extra money? It will enable you to do what?

For this example, I will share my own experience. Last year I made the decision to pay a significant portion of a parent student loan for the college of my children and I also wanted to make a down payment for an apartment instead of renting. My job situation was stable, I was ready to settle in the North East and I wanted to be a homeowner again. The Resolution could have been very simple: ?I want to make more money but ,why or for what? When I set my goals early, making more money would enable me to reduce debt, own a place and invest money on real state instead of renting, it is important to articulate your ambition as a goal in such a way that making more money is an enabler to achieve bigger things or address specific needs. If you can make more money without a clear rationale behind it, you may end up just spending more of the money you make or buying more stuff and would not feel like an important accomplishment when in reality, it is a big deal.

Let me tell you, the ambition of making more money in the middle of a pandemic while working in the cosmetic industry was not an easy task, our company was facing challenges since consumers were using less fragrances, less make-up, no lipstick, etc. so, a salary increase was not happening and because bonuses are tied to company performance, I could not count on that either.

I happen to be a Certified Franchise Broker and a Business Consultant, I have been for several years since I left the corporate world for 3-4 years and became an entrepreneur but, when I joined the corporate world again, I was not actively working on that. What did I do to meet my goal? Commit to a Healthy Routine to re-start my brokerage consulting business! I decided that every week at least 2 times per week, I would watch webinars about the franchises in our portfolio, in addition, I reached out to my network and surrounded myself with a group of experts that specialize on a “soft-landing” approach for international investors that want to come to the US, use the Franchise as a vehicle to get an investor visa and I would be the Franchise expert in the group.

My Healthy routine also included to participate as a presenter once a month in webinars and twice a week after 6-7 pm, connect with potential international investors.

I honestly did not set a specific number of the amount of money, I just wanted to pay a big portion of the loan (50%) and make a down payment for an apartment at the end of the year.

Fast-forward a year later, following the healthy routine of training myself, participating on webinars and making calls after my day job, I was able of reaching my goals. I added activities, we did not reduce spending but, committed to a healthy routine and a disciplined approach. This allowed to meet both of our goals. You probably have guessed, this year we will apply the same approach and routines. It is fun, it is very rewarding, and it works. Give it a purpose, set a SMART goal, add activities and stick to it.

Routines for your mind and soul! Resolution: “I will improve my work life balance”

Who has not said this at the beginning of the year? When changing jobs? Or When your family complains that you do not spend enough time with them or don’t feel your presence when you are around because you are always checking email on your phone, your watch or your computer while your children yell: Look Mom! Look Dad! I am swimming!

Once you have accepted that your work life balance is not sustainable then, your resolution is: I will improve my work life balance!!

Watch out number 1

The tendency is to cut the number of hours that you will spend at the office or if you work virtually, turn-off the computer “on-time” and do not look at it until next day. You see what is happening right? The impulse is to cut on the number of hours you work so, you can be at home on time or available. The flaw is that your cutting or eliminating instead of adding.

Watch out number 2

You did not inform others of the changes you were about to make, you just can’t get home or turn off the computer, sit at the couch in the living room and yell: “Hey here I am! I am balancing my work and my life, what do we do?” You wanted me here? Here I am, now what?

First, probably there is nobody at home at 5 PM so, you are talking to yourself or to your cat. Your husband is in the office or in the golf-outing like every Wednesday, or your wife is at the book-club activity or still at work, your daughter is at soccer practice and your son has marching band and then basketball.

The other problem is that you did not have a plan or a goal on what to do with your “free” time; the extra time must enable you to do something else!

Watch out number 3

You did not change a thing on the way you complete your work, your schedule and do not have a plan on how you are going to complete your tasks now that you spend less time working. You just decided that leaving early to spend more time with your family is the right thing to do.

Following find some suggestions to avoid the pitfalls I just described:

·???????Get clear on what are you going to do with that extra time, it will enable you to do what? Incorporate a healthy routine to use your free time wisely. If everybody is busy, you can go to the gym in the afternoon or you can take on cooking classes so, when your wife gets back from work or from the book club and your children are back from practice, dinner is ready, you are the Chef!

·???????Inform your Family of the change that you are about to make, talk to them and understand what the family dynamic during the week is because while you were working, life was busy at home! They won’t just be there to play Monopoly with you on a Tuesday evening or throw baseballs in the backyard! They were and are still busy!

·???????Create a SMART vision of what work-life balance really means for you and for them. Picture that in your head, see how it looks, how it feels, does it feel the same on a Monday than on a Friday? I don’t think so. The perfect picture might be a Sunday when you are grilling, you are in a boat in a close-by river with family and friends or you are actually present watching TV with them, not peaking at your phone or in your office at 5 PM with the football game in the background catching up on email so, you start fresh on Monday!

Some alternatives to improve your work -life balance is to get better on how do complete your work! Work smarter not harder!

1.?????Make sure your work priorities are aligned with your boss’ priorities, your department, your category, and your company priorities. Nothing is more frustrating than working on the wrong things. Establish a healthy routine to check on these priorities, checking priorities with your boss daily is not healthy, once a month or every other month is a good practice, it is a healthy routine.

2.?????Develop a method to prioritize your work. I use a simple quadrant:

Priority 1 it is your top right quadrant, Priority Zero or someone else’s problem is the bottom left quadrant. *Bottom right quadrant is a tricky one, the task is important but, it is not that urgent so, if you don’t make sure you complete those projects or activities one by one routinely, they will become urgent and because they were important, they will overlap with your top priority very quickly and you can say goodbye to your work-life balance because now everything is urgent. The top left is not as important but, those projects are most of the times requests that come as a surprise and are suddenly urgent, such as sending a damage-control email before the situation is out of hand or deliver something quickly to your boss that wants a piece of info for a last-minute meeting, get rid of those quickly or delegate if you can.

3.?????Surround yourself with smart people so, you can delegate without worry. There is nothing better than facing a problem and having the person in your group or a colleague that can get you out of the ropes fast. I have had the privilege of hiring people that are extremely smart, they are good at what they do and I trust them. I make sure they are in positions where they utilize their strengths instead of exposing their development areas. I learned this the hard way trying to create “well rounded” individuals, a lot of times it meant putting extra effort and attention on their development areas all the time; it was frustrating for them and for me. I use sports analogy to explain this, as follows: How much time do you think the pitcher spends on perfecting his swing to hit the ball? Or the receiver in Foot Ball perfecting his tackling? Or the Linebacker throwing the ball? Or the QB running the ball? To note, all the players need to know the rules, the priorities, the playbook, etc. and be able of performing tasks that are part of the game but, individually, they work on perfecting their position, when was the last time you heard of a pitcher being fired because her or his hitting average was less than 150? Not many so, you get the point.

My intention was to encourage you to adopt healthy routines and not necessarily discourage you from making resolutions for the new year but, do it in such a way that increases your chances of success. I hope you enjoyed it!