New Year, new you?

It is that time of year when many of us feel the need to do something dramatic, to make New Year’s Resolutions which will transform our lives. For years I would start every January making such declarations. The most recent they were:

·      I am going to lose 10 kg (this was a bit of a roll over, a recurring dream)

·      I am going to learn how to make choux pastry

·      I am going to learn Spanish

These date from about four years ago. And it will come as no surprise that I didn’t lose 10 kg, I still don’t know how to make choux pastry and my Spanish continues to be French with a Spanish accent.

Sound familiar?

The reality is that most resolutions are doomed to fail. So why even try? Is there any point trying to change your behaviour? Can you really develop a new habit or kick an old one?

Of course I would say of course you can. Don’t get me wrong it isn’t easy. If it were it wouldn’t take smokers around seven attempts to quit before they succeed, it wouldn’t have taken 40 years to get us to think of drink-driving as anti-social and dangerous and we would all be eating five fruits and veggies a day. Large-scale, sustained behaviour change only comes about when a whole plethora of factors work together.

But there are things you can do to change your life. But only if you want to. Really want to. I still don’t know how to make choux pastry because apart from thinking I ought to know how to do it because people on Bake Off can, I actually don’t like eclairs or choux buns. I like the idea of knowing how to make choux but am not that interested in the reality.

And you need to stack the odds in your favour.

Work with your lifestyle not against it

There is no point signing up to do a regular weekly class if your work pattern will only allow you to get to every other class. Nor should you tell yourself that you are going to go for an early morning run every morning if you are like me and would rather stay in the warmth of your bed. In the first case, even though the desire is there real life gets in the way. In the second, short-term gratification beats long-term goal. 

Be realistic

For me, losing 10 kg was a very challenging goal; it is a pretty high percentage of my body weight. I am not sure why I decided 10 was the magic number, it certainly wasn’t based on any science. Moreover, I don’t own any scales (apart from kitchen ones) so wasn’t sure how much I weighed in the first place and would have no idea if I had achieved my goal. Not that I had a plan for actually doing it. I am rubbish at diets. It was unrealistic and over-ambitious. No wonder I didn’t manage it*.

Making a change

I have, however, in the last few months made a small positive change in my life.

My behaviour change journey started in the summer in the company of one BJ Fogg. If you can get over the ridiculousness of his name (he is an American academic), then actually BJ, as he is known to his friends, has proved very useful. He has devised a five-day programme to help you build tiny habits.

Getting started

It was very simple to get started. You have to decide on up to three small changes you want to make. I picked moisturising my legs (if you have dark skin it is really important and I am rubbish at remembering to do it); drinking more water (we all need to take on more H2O); and walking around the office more (combining being social with keeping up my steps).

 Importantly, you have to say when you are going to do the thing(s) you have chosen to do. So I decided I would moisturise my legs after I shower every morning; drink water after every meeting; and walk around the office after every meeting.

Piece of cake. Well, that bit was. The actual doing was trickier, much trickier.

Within two weeks it was clear I was only going to succeed in one of my goals: moisturisng. My take on the results is that having an anchor - something which is really fixed in your schedule - is essential if you are to be successful. For the moisturising, my anchor is having a shower. I do it every morning. I also put a large bottle of Palmers Cocoa Butter on my dresser as another prompt. Six months on, I am still moisturising although there was a little hiatus when I moved into a new house and it took a couple of weeks for the Cocoa Butter to find a fixed abode.

Anchoring

For the other two (drinking water and walking around the office), I didn’t really have anchors. Some days I was back-to-back meetings, some days I was in a single meeting for most of the day. And of course I hadn’t thought about what happens at the weekend or the days I am not in the office. Without anything to fix my new habits on to, I struggled and ultimately failed. If I am to get more steps and be better hydrated, I am going to have to find strong anchors that work every day and everywhere.

2017 resolutions

So I am ignoring all the emails tempting me to make a dramatic transformation but will continue to make small, realistic and positive changes.

That doesn’t mean I don’t have a resolution for 2017. Indeed it is the one I have been doing for several years now, successfully – to do something new or scary at least once a month. Try it.

Happy New Year

*I did lose 10 kg (actually it was 12) during 2016 but it was a result of ill health and it demonstrated very clearly that thin does not equal happy.