New Year, Same me?!
Never Mask the Route Cause of the Problem
2023 is now upon us.
Once Argentina managed to finish off France in Qatar, Christmas came into full view with the New Year peering over it’s shoulder. The time is being spent planning nights out for Christmas, last minute presents, who you want to meet and more importantly, who you want to avoid.
The spectre of the New Year will bring promises of change – New Year, New Me, Resolutions that you can’t keep up or drastic changes that lead you further away from your goal than where you started. Why do you have to change? Why bother? You’re setting goals but for what purpose? We’ll look to dig into this a bit further below and establish a path for 2023.
Why do people set goals?
Generally, goals, resolutions are changes people want to make to better themselves. They start as simple as “I’ll drink more water” to the more complex (or unrealistic) “I am going to run 5k everyday followed by 45 mins in X gym and an hour of yoga with Adrienne in the evening”
Both goals are different, but they come about from the same reason. You want to change. You think/believe/know that drinking more water is good for you. Goals and resolutions come about when you feel you are deficient in a certain area. Do you really think the 5k run daily, gym and yoga combination is sustainable? Maybe it is, but most likely it’s a reaction to an action or lack thereof.
Goals, as long as they are somewhat achievable, are excellent. They should look to drag you closer to them as you apply yourself. Realistic goals are important otherwise they’re lip service – the 5k one might be a prime example of this for someone who’s never laced a pair of runners before. Specific goals can overlap with realistic goals. Sometimes people don’t use their current situation to base goals.
Why can’t any of the following tangible goals work?
Now, they might not be the most exciting goals, but they are realistic and achievable. All the above can be assimilated into your life and become habits as opposed to chores.
On the flipside the reactionary goals, tend to be overreactions. Are you in a rut currently? Is this why you think drastic changes will be right for you. ”I’ve been overworked in 2022 therefore I’ll change x,y and z outside my work life in the hope that it’ll change in 2023”
This leads into the chicken and egg question – what’s the cause of the rut?
Do you want to work long hours? Or do you let yourself get into a situation where you end up doing it constantly? Most of the time people will say they don’t want to work long hours (we do come across outliers, who like the idea of the long slog and more power to them!) Generally, people tend to attract the long hours upon themselves. They end up putting themselves in the shop window. It can happen very easily. You start a new job, you’re keen to impress, so you’ll soon find yourself doing the odd extra bit to get up to speed or to be seen to add value. Your probation period will be 6 months at a minimum and you want to ensure you pass that. Now the late nights become a habit or maybe its lunch al deske that’s your vice. Perception can quickly become reality. People you work with will keep giving you more if you don’t say no? or highlight the fact that you’re over-working. So what’s started out as a simple idea to work a bit extra now leads to you giving up your balance outside work and setting these “overreaction” goals.
Where does that leave you? First port of call would be to take an honest assessment of the situation. As mentioned, goals tend to materialize where you are deficient in one are or unhappy.
Question – why are you unhappy?
What causes this? Is it work? Are you too agreeable for the late nights? Does it frustrate you when you work late? Do you see others and think hmm X is getting more than me for doing less?
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Once you’ve established a cause, a plan must then be put in place.
How do I improve my situation or make up for said deficit? What is the variable in my equation that needs to change for the other side of the equals sign to be happy? A plan needs to be in place to launch your goals in the right direction.
The questions you have to ask yourself will be hard and the answers might be unpleasant. There will be core variables in your equation that you will need to analyse in depth;
If we were to look at the 6 factors, you can ask yourself the question “Am I happy with x at present?” about each one of them. If the answer is no, you can ask yourself the next question “What can I do to change it?” followed by “What does the ideal situation look like for me?”
If all 6 are in flux, it might be time for a career change entirely (See Chandler in FRIENDS moving to Yemen). Generally, there tends to be 1 maybe 2 pain points that are contributing to an unhappiness and thus drastic goals. Can you set small goals that build a platform for you to launch from.
In Recruitment, we tend to spend our days speaking with people who want to change job. Why do they want to change job? Because they’re unhappy. And what cause this unhappiness? Is it the work itself? Is it the hours? Is it not being valued? Are they underpaid or feel that they are underpaid? Whatever it may be, this permeates into all other factors in their lives’. It drains relationships, it eats away at spare time, it leads to bad habits and bad moods. If a core variable is so dominant in your life as work is, that should be a variable that is prioritised. Quick maths will tell you at a minimum you work 36 hours of the 120 hours available Monday to Friday which includes the 40 hours of sleep expected. Questioning your current circumstances should be a top priority if you feel it’s the variable that is eating away at the rest of your life.
Goals are important but really you should look at your situation and question if work is impacting all other aspects of your life, maybe it’s the goal to change. So, the New Year rolls around and we assess ourselves;
Am I happy in work?/living situation?/relationships?/friends?/social life?/financial situation?
Yes - great!
No - I am going to find another opportunity
And how will you change it?
Putting goals in place that build a foundation for change.
Not everyone needs to change. People always need to develop. There doesn’t necessarily have to be a drastic overhaul of your entire existence. Small changes and habits can have a massive impact on your day-to-day life as they compound. Maybe it’s a New Year and you're happy with the core variables if so it should be New Year, Same Me. If you’re not happy, is it therefore New Year, Same me? Or are you going to do something about it?
Identify the cause and then you can put structures in place to mitigate against the effect. At Darwin Hawkins, we place huge value on guiding candidates through difficult periods in their career. This doesn’t mean you take the first job that crosses our desk because it’s a quick win. We’re looking to find the right match for you, so when you move you stay. Most importantly, those overreaction goals become a thing of the past.
Partner at Darwin Hawkins
2 年Great article Aonghus Cody, ACA