New Year Musings - Reflections or Deflections

So January came by and if the media, family and friends are considered advisors, it was time to reflect, plan and commit for the year ahead. I have not been one to do this previously, not in any manner of formality like writing down or committing to friends or family. So, by January 2nd, I was back into my normal cruise mode of living when something happened: a friend invited me to his Kikuyu rites of passage ceremony called “mburi ya kiama” meaning “offering to council of elders”. Having never attended one, the idea of learning more about my culture, especially the man’s rites of passage was intriguing.

It was a welcome gesture, because it triggered a month of deep reflection and action towards musings I had heard but not really acted upon. So, the BIG reflection for me at the start of a new decade, a new year was – how far have I come as a husband, father, and leader? What will I set as goals for the next decade? There is something about us men that is about conquering, achievement, ticking the box ‘been there done that’. So, as am reflecting, I am probably asking myself if there is something that was to be done before I turn 50 years old (which is soon) and what should I be doing about it. Hmmmm.

In the midst of planning my next manhood checklist item was the harmonious co-existence of culture and religion. I am a kikuyu married man, muthuuri, but what does that really mean? How does it tie in with Christianity that I was brought up with and serves to guide my family and me? The invite to the rites of passage event early in January therefore elicited a curious reaction from my side to learn more. I attended the ceremony and ended up being part of the ceremony, after declaring openly to a council elder that I too was in the process of getting my teenage son through Kikuyu initiation rites of passage in 2020, but was yet to be accepted as an elder into the council of elders. This was not acceptable, I learnt – my son being initiated had to be preceded by his father being accepted as an elder. I did eventually go through the rites of passage and join the kiama ya adhuuri (council of elders). My new decade had begun on a high!

 Here are my most exciting take-aways from the last decade that I hope to take into the next:

Life’s a journey of near misses and occasional great hits – cherish the hits. Very much like my golf game at present, it might take four and a half hours and 90 or so strikes of the ball to complete a round but I will only live to recall 2 or 3 of the great strikes in that round. Those few memorable strikes will have been made under pressure but with great focus, which I will live to remember the results of and the emotions generated. Learn to cherish those great moments that make you feel like a conqueror who gets what he wants when he is determined. It will give you that extra push to continue with your journey through life.

Family comes first. I am part of a family business that has grown and done well thus far, courtesy of the patriarch my father. He has been a pillar of strength and commitment to see through many challenges in his life including persisting with his business which now puts food on the table for me and my family. His story of building a new business from scratch during the early 90s is one of overcoming multiple challenges. Despite that, he was a present father who led his life by example for us to experience in the same household. Ever supportive, he has also been there for his siblings and extended family throughout his journey.

Be curious. Challenge yourself. In the last decade, I did some things I had not set out to do back in 2010. Climbed mountains, run marathons, got my MBA and many other firsts. The drive to try out new challenges has been part of living and I shall strive to continue pursuing new experiences for this decade. Through facing new challenges I have found my way of learning is enhanced. Win or lose the lesson is in the experience.

It has been a great January which started with a new cultural experience. My intention is to continue challenging myself, to learn by experience and keep on sharing the lessons. If my reflections can cause a deflection in yours, let the spirit of sharing help us grow.

#Leadership #Reflections #Africa #Culture