New year? Keep fighting!

“Why do you fight so much?” asked my boss. He waited patiently for my reply. “I’m not sure.” I answered. Then a quieter voice from a pensive place rose from within, “But I guess it’s because I’ve always had to.” Sitting there in what was supposed to be a team building exercise, I came face-to-face with… myself.?

I was, correction, I am a fighter. Maybe you are too? To fight the good fight you must first know what’s worth fighting for. Here's a hint: it's you.

Before ever entering a ring, the first thing you’ll learn in boxing class is how to properly wrap your hands. Much like a boisterous personality, boxing gloves alone - as big and bold and bright as they may be - will not protect the delicate bones within. Rather, it is tape and thin gauze - wrapped with care, methodically and repeatedly, between and around every single finger - that will. Bound together, each digit is fortified by the other giving the whole hand its ability to withstand blows that boxing gloves alone cannot.?

Imagine...

Your VALUES as an index finger: It points the way. Babies begin pointing as a way to communicate their interests as early as age one. Emanating from you outwards into the world, your values point to what matters most. And just as you change through growth, so do your values.

As a result, perhaps your current employment no longer reflects your values but you still need the work. Put pen to paper and jot down the job tasks of your current role on the left side and on the right, make a list of your values. Now draw arrows from the tasks on the right to the values they serve on the left. This simple exercise will ground you in the reality that you choose your work as well as its meaning. Now, build on that energy and draw a third column on the far right. Title this your “next level” criteria and allow them to direct your career choices.

Your BOUNDARIES as a middle finger: It is unapologetically direct. Dr. Henry Cloud says it succinctly, “You get what you tolerate.” Setting strong boundaries sets you up for success. Boundaries give shape to your voice and keep you in line with your values. Here’s a fun fact: The middle finger makes up about 31% of overall grip strength. Of all the digits, it is also the one that immediately takes the place of a missing index finger. Similarly, when? your values are challenged, your boundaries will step in to point the way.

Sure there will be times that test you. But when your boundaries are clear, you’re less likely to be pushed into uncomfortable corners. Let’s say that one of your values is family time and yet work regularly impinges. Try setting a subtle boundary using a shared calendar. Make your availability (and thereby your unavailability) viewable to colleagues, then stick to the hours you set. This can look like not taking calls when on vacation or adjusting your email to send during work hours only.

Your WORD as a ring finger: It's committed to reinforce your values. Called the vena amoris or “vein of love,” the ancient Egyptians believed that a vein traveled directly to the heart from the ring finger. We know today that there is no such medical connection, still the significance endures. One of the easiest ways to keep your word is to not overpromise.

Be it in a boardroom or a business start-up, the benefits of keeping your word at work are bountiful. Chief among them is client attraction and retention. In fact, positive word-of-mouth referrals from satisfied clients can increase profits by 25% to 95%. The bottom-line here is that your word is your worth because no matter who you work for, clients choose to work with you.?

Your VOICE as a pinkie finger: It may seem superfluous, but when applied smartly it’s powerful. In fact, clinical studies showed that overall grip strength was reduced by 33% when use of the pinkie finger was restricted. So why then, do we silence ourselves?

Perhaps your voice betrayed you when, like a little finger raised high while sipping tea from a tiny cup, you inserted a silly joke instead of stating directly what you meant. These types of odd or inappropriate reflexes are often due to cognitive discomfort when in an unfamiliar or intimidating setting. When in a meeting where you feel strongly about an issue, try folding your hands in your lap to ease your subconscious discomfort. Because our hands typically gesticulate as a way to visually illustrate our verbal expression and non-verbal emotions, lightly clasping them can keep you focused on your purpose and help to ensure you serve, and not sideline, your goal.

Your WILL as a thumb: It keeps things together. Also known as “opposable,” the thumb can work with or against the other fingers to pinch, grasp, or hold - as can your will. And although it is called willpower, it can power out if not exercised with care. Numerous studies have shown that relying on willpower alone can lead to burnout (i.e., exhaustion, cynicism, decreased productivity due to prolonged stress) or even brownout (i.e., a? gradual loss of motivation, purpose, or engagement in one’s work). This is because the power of one’s will depends on practicing positive habits. Just like building muscle, willpower needs training and rest.

One way to build up willpower is to break big goals into smaller sub-goals. Acknowledge the completion of each sub-goal then reflect on what it means, why it matters, and what was gained or how you grew as a result. Just as the thumb is wrapped outside of fingers before pulling on boxing gloves, so your will wraps in with your values, boundaries, word, and voice to propel the full power of your punch forward.

Fights are first won within and there is nothing more worth fighting for than your psyche. An intact, aligned, and well protected psyche is at the center of well-being. It gives you the strength and stamina to show up for who and what truly matters to you.

So while typical new year rituals are rooted in declaring what you will stop, let go of, or close out in order to start something new - I encourage you to look within, determine what matters most to you, summon self-compassion, hold tight, and fight on!