New Wave Brief 4: Trust

“He who does not trust enough, will not be trusted.”? - Lao Tzu

Dear Trust Steward,

Do we really trust others?

Before we reflexively answer yes (because our egos love to do that), let’s slow down and dig a little deeper:

• When was the last time we let someone make a big decision without stepping in to “help”?
• Who on our team do we hesitate to trust fully, and why?
• How do we react when someone makes a mistake—do we let the lesson play out or rush in to fix it?

Many of us think we trust others—especially once they’ve earned it. But if we really check in, how many people actually make the list? It’s often embarrassingly short. So, have we just been unable to find trustworthy people? Or have we not built the habit of trusting those who already are?

The Trust Paradox

What is trust, really?

The definition, according to Google, can be found below:?

Trust: Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Notice something? Trust is about belief, not certainty. Certainty doesn’t exist (except maybe in taxes and death). That’s the paradox of trust—it’s a leap of faith in a world where nothing is guaranteed. We build it when someone’s actions align with their words over time, especially when their values match ours.

But here’s the kicker: do we trust ourselves? Can others trust us? Because trust isn’t just about them—it’s a reflection of us.

Trust Starts with Us?

Here’s an uncomfortable truth: people of integrity, loyalty, and virtue don’t spend time proving themselves to those who refuse to trust. Instead, they align with others who understand that trust is a reciprocal process.

So, here’s the real question: What does my word mean?

Do our actions align with our words? Do we keep the promises we make not just to others but to ourselves? Do we tell ourselves we’ll go to the gym in the morning every night just to wake up and skip it day after day??

If we find ourselves struggling to trust others, it’s often because we haven’t first earned our own trust. Trust, like most things, starts from within. If we don’t trust ourselves—our decisions, our ability to handle mistakes, our integrity—why would anyone else?

Why Trust Anyway?

"You must trust and believe in people, or life becomes impossible." — Anton Chekhov

Trust is risky. It makes us vulnerable—and vulnerability can feel like the last thing we want as leaders. But here’s a thought: Can we really live without vulnerability? I’d argue we can’t. It’s part of being human. And as much as we’d love to pretend we can shield ourselves from it, life will eventually force it upon us.

So why not choose it instead? When we trust, we risk—but without that risk, we limit our impact and deprive ourselves of meaningful relationships. Even if we could accomplish everything solo, what would be the point if we had no one to share it with?

When to Trust?

"The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him." — Henry L. Stimson

We can have contracts, NDAs, and legal protections—but at the end of the day, everything comes down to one thing: relationships built on trust. And here’s the truth: we’ll never have 100% certainty that someone is the “right” person to trust. But we can stack the odds in our favor by being trustworthy ourselves.

We must trust others first. As leaders, if we don’t offer trust, we’ll never know who to count on when it truly matters. Start with small steps—build trust gradually, but give others a real shot. If we wait for some mythical “perfect time,” we’ll miss out on knowing who can handle the big decisions when they come.

How to Trust??

Trust is a process. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it can start today.?

Here’s the blueprint:

1. Trust Yourself First: Be impeccable with your word. If you say you’ll wake up at 6 am, get up. Build a track record with yourself before expecting it from others.
2. Create Your Trust Process: Define how trust is earned with you. Everyone has their own way—be clear about yours. Start with “trust levels”—small decisions, medium risks, and eventually, the big stuff. Example process:
3. Communicate Transparently: Be upfront with people about where they stand in the trust process. It’s important that they know how to earn more trust and what it looks like.
4. Start Small, Scale Up: If someone can’t make it to a meeting on time, they probably shouldn’t be running your biggest account. But if they’ve shown commitment repeatedly, it might be time to expand your comfort zone and deepen that relationship.

Where Do We Go From Here?

This week, try these simple steps:

1. Build trust with yourself. Start with something simple: make a promise to yourself and keep it. For example, wake up with your alarm the first time it goes off every day for a week, without exceptions.
2. Create your own trust process. Define your trust clearance levels and what it takes to move through them.
3. Talk to someone you deem trustworthy. Ask them what you can do to build more trust with them.
4. Identify someone you’ve been holding back on. Find an opportunity to push them to the next trust level.

As we build and trust the process, we’ll uncover the true capabilities of our team—and ourselves.

With purpose, vision, and appreciation, Brooke