A New Vision for a Healing Virus!

In the past three months I have seen more fear, uncertainty, disruption, and discouragement than ever before in my sixty-five years. Covid-19 struck our world like a runaway train causing devastation to families around the world directly impacted by loss of life and intense illness. For millions of others, the devastation has been economic, debilitating lifestyles with the suddenness of a high-speed car crash. Then, just as the loss of life from the virus spiraled past 100,000 in the US, we have been punched even harder in the gut by the perhaps even more insidious diseases of racism, cruelty, and violence.

Never before have we more needed to heal, to hope, to hear one another, and to remember that the pursuit of happiness must be available to all. 

As I walked this morning, I struck upon a brand new meaning we could give to what has happened and to ignite a positive viral movement in our world that changes the trajectory of humanity to compassion, optimism, vitality, improvement, and a real difference in the way we treat one another. For each letter of this new COVID I envision two powerful possibilities because it is time for each of us to reach inside and DOUBLE our determination to contribute to positive change.

C: Compassion and Courage

My most recent book is titled: The ROI of Kindness. I wrote this book because even before the events of the past few months I felt passionately that simple human kindness has never been needed more. Compassion is kindness at its purest form because it is all about being kind to those who are unkind, to going a step further to understand one another. 

When you are compassionate you refuse to hold grudges or prejudices. You realize that NOT forgiving another human being is like drinking a giant glass of poison and expecting them to die. Forgiveness is born of compassion because it allows us to remember that we are all human, we all make mistakes, and that only when we forgive can we move forward. Blame and non-forgiveness keep us imprisoned in the past. And the only place from which we can make things better is in the present.

It takes enormous COURAGE to be compassionate. It is the only kind of courage that ignites real change. Mother Teresa said that “service is love in action.” That is perhaps the most perfect definition of compassion I have ever heard. Bullying is the antithesis of compassion for it is cowardice and cruelty in action. The ultimate of courage is to be compassionate in the face of cruelty. 

I have been deeply moved by the courage and compassion of George Floyd’s family. In the midst of their terrible loss and intense pain they stood tall with the courage to be compassionate. They asked us all to have the courage to care for one another, to learn, and to change, but to do it with peaceful passion and indomitable purpose. They exemplified the choice we always have, no matter the circumstances, to get better rather than bitter, to unite rather than separate, and to work for resolution rather than revenge. 

O: Optimism and Openness

I have been an avid reader of biographies for much of my life. I love to learn from great thinkers and doers, whether they be scientists, statesmen, reformers, spiritual leaders, artists, inventors, athletes, teachers, or coaches. There is one quality more than any other that shines through as a common bond uniting all these remarkable people through history. That one shared characteristic is optimism. Every one of these individuals believed that they themselves and humanity CAN change, that we can grow, develop, and improve.

Optimism requires openness. And openness requires humility, because only those who are humble are life-long learners. Only those who are open and humble would rather learn how to be better than have to be right. Only those who are open and humble are unafraid to admit their mistakes. When you are open and humble, as Saint Francis of Assisi taught, you seek first to understand rather than to be understood. You genuinely listen instead of constantly formulating what you’re going to say without really taking in another’s meaning and viewpoint.

My wife Carole is perhaps the most open person I have ever known. Her eagerness to disrupt the status quo, to welcome fresh ideas, and to try something new when she feels there is a better idea or approach has challenged my neat and orderly tendency to stay in my comfort zones, She has helped me recognize that often those comfort zones have become confinement zones. Her example of openness has been the single-most powerful catalyst in my life to help me change and expand. 

If we are to heal the disease called racism in our world, every single one of us will need to open ourselves to new ways of thinking and acting. We will only tackle this challenge when we come from a place of optimism that we can change.

Despite the tragedies of the senseless killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Abery, I am more hopeful and optimistic than ever in my lifetime that the moment of change has come. For the first time I see the massive numbers of peaceful protesters made up of a truly diverse slice of humanity rather than just one ethnicity. There are millions of white protesters and standing with black, there are old and young, men and women, gay and straight, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist. These are very different protest groups than those that marched with Dr. Martin Luther King that were predominantly black. For the first time I see Military and Law Enforcement leaders stepping up to say that we must change and committing to do so within their own ranks. For the first time in my memory many of these military leaders have stood up and declared that it is not American to use military force against our own citizens. I see police officers taking a knee in solidarity with protesters, and law enforcement leaders like the Houston Chief of Police speaking up and declaring clearly that brutality, racial prejudice, and cruelty are NOT to be tolerated any longer and are the antithesis of true police work. It is not nearly enough, but it is more than I’ve ever seen, and a genuine beginning to lasting change.

In the past two decades I have seen that we can indeed change the way we treat one another and see one another. A significant majority of Americans have let go of their fear, prejudice, and intolerance of the LGBTQ community. Thirty years ago, many would have not thought that possible. The younger generation in particular has shed much of the bias of the past and are open and comfortable with human beings of different sexual preferences. For a great many, it is simply not a big deal, no longer a separator or something to be feared, shunned, or hated. Though there is still a ways to go in releasing this bias from every heart, I have never been more optimistic that if we can take such significant strides and make such progress in letting go of this long-time prejudice, we can do the same in the areas of race and religion. But it will take double the openness and optimism from each and every one of us.

V: Vigor and Vision

What we focus on is what we create! The starting point and catalyst for change is a vision of a better world, one in which as Martin Luther King immortalized “my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.” But vision is not enough. Vision without vigor to transform that vision into reality becomes nothing more than unrealized potential. But when a purposeful vision is supported by indomitable, vigorous action in the direction of that vision we will make extraordinary progress. Less than ten years after John F. Kennedy focused our nation on a vision of landing a man on the moon, the once thought impossible became more than possible. It became real. Less than 50 years after Dr. King delivered his “I have a dream” speech, the seemingly impossible became real again, when a black American, Barack Obama was elected President of the United States of America. 

There are many who have decided that the vision of true racial, ethnic, and religious equality is a pipe-dream, an impossibility. Their vision is not of what we CAN do, but rather of all the reasons we can’t. Their focus is on the obstacles, not the breakthroughs. But, when we can see it clearly, we can clearly BE it! 

There is a third V that is a vital manifestation of vigor and vision. It is our ultimate power in a democracy, our greatest opportunity to generate change and have a voice. It is the right to VOTE. Only 55% of those eligible in 2016 exercised their right to vote, to support their vision with the simple vigor required to cast a ballot. It is my simple belief that when that percentage sharply increases, racism in our country will teeter and fall. Most Americans of every color know in their hearts that racism is wrong, that it is not something we are born with, but rather something we have created and chosen. When most American’s act with vision and vigor by voting, I feel strongly that the inherent goodness in people will shine brightly and our nation will overwhelmingly express that we support unity rather than separation, equality for everyone over privilege for the few, and care for one another over selfishness. 

“Too much sanity may be madness, and the maddest of all to see life as it is and not as it should be.”

– Cervantes

I: Improvement and Invitation

Kareem Abdul Jabbar, one of the greatest basketball players of all-time, and a passionate civil rights activist and advocate for more than 50 years was asked after George Floyd’s murder, what can each of do to ignite change. How can we possibly make a difference?

His simple, but tremendously profound and wise answer spoke of the two I’s in our new meaning for COVID, invitation and improvement. Abdul Jabbar said that each of us could simply invite someone who doesn’t look like us into our hearts, to get to know someone of a different race, ethnicity, religion, or lifestyle. To invite is to welcome, to value, and to honor differences rather than fear them. And as soon as we make this simple shift, we begin to understand that it matters not that we are all not ‘like-minded.’ What really matters is that we are all at our core, ‘like-HEARTED.’ We cherish the same basic things. We want to have loving relationships in our lives. We want the best for our children, to leave them a better world than we inherited. We want to live in a human community of kindness, compassion, love, support, and unselfishness. We want to have fun and to feel that we matter and that our lives have meaning and value. The more we shift to valuing differences, the more we see that we are simply not that different in the ways that matter most.

Often in my seminars I use the phrase, “inch by inch, anything’s a cinch!” This is an expression of the principle of little improvements that lead to quantum leaps. Imagine if every single American acted upon Abdul Jabbar’s invitation to get to know someone who doesn’t look like us. By each of us making one small improvement, taking one new action to replace fear with understanding, our nation would be lifted instantly by 300 million new interracial friendships. This idea may seem to some ridiculous, unrealistic, and na?ve. But it is nonetheless POSSIBLE because it only requires one small invitation and improvement by each of us. There is only one antidote for the paralysis of overwhelm which so many are feeling right now. It is to TAKE ONE STEP. In other words, to make one small improvement, one new action. That one action ignites momentum. And momentum generates confidence. I invite you to commit to make one improvement in the next month that seeks to build relationship and understanding with someone of a different color, creed, or lifestyle. 

D: Do Different!

In some of the leadership retreats that I lead, I have everyone participate in a hilarious activity called Bottom’s Up! It’s great fun and immediately moves everyone from the sidelines into the game. The laughter comes when participants realize how easily we can be led to exemplify the definition of insanity: “To do the same thing over, and over, and over again, and expect a different result!” The learning comes through the power of surprise, when the principle the activity is all about is revealed: “If it’s not working… DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT! 

It is stunningly clear to virtually everyone now that “it’s not working”, that it is time to change. But the status quo will remain until each and everyone of us recognizes and commits to ourselves, that if THINGS are to change, I must change. Whether for you it means to elevate your compassion and courage, to become more open and optimistic, to create a new vision and act upon it with vigor, to vote, or to invite someone different into your life and make a small improvement, change will only come when we DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

And when we take that new action and do something different, that’s a beginning and not an end. We then must pay attention and ask ourselves, “Is it working? Is it bringing us together rather than pulling us apart? Is this new action truly in alignment with the person I want to be?” If the answers are YES, you’re on your way! Keep moving in that direction. If the answer is no, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!

The most important words I’ve ever written are these: The love we fail to share is the only pain we live with. The simple truth is that if we don’t do something different, if we don’t share our love now, while we have the chance, then the love we fail to share will become the only pain we LEAVE with. And that’s too late.

The Window of Opportunity, the WOO is right now. It is in this precious moment. Let’s bring new meaning and possibility to this unprecedented time. May the wind be at our back.