The New Shyness
Growing up in the Bronx you have to have a thick skin. This made it difficult for my younger brother George, who was shy.
George was so shy that he used to wear a paper bag on his head to class. He wanted to connect with the other kids, he just didn’t know how. Hiding his face actually made him feel more comfortable in his environment.
He was what is known as dispositionally shy. Dispositional shyness implies a fear of rejection by being socially unacceptable to certain social groups or individuals, such as one’s peer group, authorities, or those a person wants to impress, such as members of the opposite sex.
In the last several decades shyness has evolved. Shyness now plays a key role in the complex causal cycle between the self-imposed social isolation of many young people and their excessive time spent in virtual worlds such as video games and porn.
In the 1970s and 1980s when I pioneered the scientific study of shyness among adolescents and adults, about 40 percent of the US population rated themselves as currently shy people, or dispositionally shy.
An equal percentage reported that they had been shy in the past but had overcome its negative impact. Fifteen percent more said that their shyness was situationally induced, such as on blind dates or having to perform in public. So only 5 percent or so were true-blue never-ever shy.
Over the past thirty years, however, that percentage has increased. In a 2007 survey of students by the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast, 84 percent of participants said they were shy at some point in their life, 43 percent said they were presently shy, and just 1 percent said they had never been shy. Two-thirds of those who were currently shy said that their shyness was a personal problem!
The deep fear of social rejection has risen in part as a result of technology, which minimizes direct, face-to-face social interaction such as conversing with other people, seeking information, shopping, going to the bank, getting library books, and much more.
The net does it all for us faster, more accurately and without any need for making social connections. In one sense, online communication enables the very shy to make easier contact with others in the realm of asynchronistic communication.
But I believe it then makes it more difficult to make real-life connections, fueling a cycle of social isolation...
Read the rest: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/hero/201603/the-new-shyness
Postdoctoral Fellow at University of South Carolina
8 年I have found that shy employee have less subjective career success, but shyness can be moderated by effective training, understanding, support and future orientation
Founder & Director, Stanford U. Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, Neurosurgeon, New York Times bestselling author, international speaker, compassion researcher, neuroscientist.
8 年Spot on...
Employment Coordinator for the North East of England.
8 年It's funny I have actually just put this subject matter in as a topic for my 3rd year dissertation. I am interested in the connection between social media, mobile phones etc and young peoples social anxiety.
Owner, Frieden Qualitative Services. Focus Group Marketing Research
8 年You raise an excellent point, Phil! I would guess that shy people using social media are temporarily coaxed out of their shyness, at least on their computer screen. As a result, they may come to see themselves as not being shy in this realm. Let's think, too, of the myriad times we see two people sitting across the table, each content to be on Facebook or responding to texts, as opposed to speaking to one another. Each happy to be engaging in Parallel Play in a socially acceptable manner, in control of their phone screens. "Shy Dates" perhaps, leaving the coffee house perfectly content.
Transformational Global Leader, Trusted Coach, Scientist, Resilience & Success Mentor and Leadership Development Expert
8 年Thank you Philip for sharing a well written article!