A New Path With BluePath

It is hard to put into words what it is like to have a disabled autistic child. That all too familiar uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach worrying if my child is safe becomes a norm. That constant questioning of yourself as a parent “Am I doing enough for my child?” never stops. The years of evaluations, medication trials, tests and never-ending bureaucratic tape take their toll.

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When the doctors, therapists and teachers are not sure what to do next and the to do list keeps growing, it can be discouraging. I am not sure which to do item I was spinning my wheels a few years ago when I threw my hands up questioning if anything on my list was making a real difference for my child. I paused, said to myself forget what everyone is telling you to do and asked myself ‘if there was one thing that would make the biggest difference in the day-to-day quality of my child’s life what would it be?’ It was then, I typed ‘Service Dog for Autistic Children” on the Google search bar and found BluePath. I could not believe there was an organization like BluePath and we lived in the local area they served. Like a dog with a bone, I sprang into action as knew that this was the ‘To Do’ that mattered most.

As a mom, I would do anything for my child. I will never forget the tears of joy rolling down my cheeks and the intense feeling of my heart bursting with the deepest love I have ever known when locking eyes with my 1st born child almost 10 years ago. We named him after my beloved grandfather- Nathan which means gift from God. And, that he is. The 1st words I said to my husband when the nurse wrapped my baby up after the birth to take him out of the room so the c-section could be completed were ‘Follow her, don’t lose sight of our baby’. That fierce love and motherly instinct to protect my child was stronger than any feeling I had ever known.

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I sensed something was different about Nathan when he started to miss his developmental milestones. When Nathan was not talking or walking by almost 2 years old, we brought him to a neurologist and started early intervention services. The 1st diagnoses were hypotonia – why he never stopped drooling and had trouble walking and speech apraxia – why he had trouble talking and sensory processing disorders -why he had trouble learning. In the next few years, Nathan was diagnosed as ADD and ASD. Because Nathan is extremely social and presented A-typical, it was not until Nathan was 5 years old that he received the Autism diagnosis. In recent years, he has developed anxiety and OCD behavior and continues to baffle the top specialists and doctors in Westchester.

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The truth is everything is A-typical about Nathan. He beats to his own drum and exists on a different vibration that most of us do. He lights up any room he enters, sings more clearly than he speaks and loves nothing more than to ride the elevator. Though he tests in the less than one percent for cognitive ability for his age, he is my greatest teacher. A few years ago for Mother’s day, my husband gave me an all about mommy fill in the blank from Nathan and Lucas -Nathan’s brother. In the mix of the fun answers like Mommy is 10 years old and her favorite food is broccoli (not true) there was one answer that moved me to tears. Lucas said ‘Mommy is smart because she knows ‘how to be a teacher’ Nathan said Mommy is smart because she knows how to love me.

Nathan knows how to love, but does not know how to keep himself safe. We have had more than one traumatic chocking incident as Nathan stuffs his food and this makes mealtime highly stressful for the whole family. Nathan is prone to running away and can be unpredictable like the time he walked back down the slide ladder halfway up and I started to panic as I waited for him to come down the slide and was nowhere in sight before we found him across the park in a bouncy castle that caught his eye. Or the time I looked away for a few seconds and he rode his tricycle out of the driveway, went speeding down the hill – myself and Lucas running and screaming at the top of our lungs “STOP” as parts of his bike falling off along the way because he was going so fast and went full speed into a busy road just missed being hit by a truck that thankfully was able to slam on their breaks just in time. Lucas cried ‘Nathan you could have been dead’. Nathan said, that was fun. Can I do it again?

Something not often talked about is how siblings are affected being in a household that revolves around an Autistic child and the day-to-day challenges that come with it. The sleepless nights, missed vacations, cut short events and daily outbursts are a family affair. No matter what my husband and I say or do to make sure he knows his brother’ safety is our job, Lucas has taken on more responsibility than any 7-year old should have, watching out for his older brother. He is plagued with constant fear and anxiety that something is going to happen to Nathan. ?Last year, when we told Lucas about Suzie and that part of her job was to help mommy and daddy keep Nathan safe and calm, the relief and excitement in Lucas’ voice when he said- ‘So I won’t have to worry as much’ was something that I will never forget.

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Something else I will never forget, is the 1st time Nathan walked with a BluePath service dog at the mall. Nathan was like a different kid from the moment he was attached to the harness. It grounded him and gave him a newfound feeling of independence. It was better than any anti-anxiety pill or therapy. Nathan did not ask to go to the bathroom once, normally he asks to go every few minutes when not at home or in the car. When he asked to ride the elevator yet again, he easily accepted No. There was no throwing himself on the floor and crying as he walked by his favorite indoor play place without going in. In fact, it seemed like he hardly noticed- he was calmer, less impulsive, more confident.

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From the 1st moment we met Suzie this past summer our lives have not been the same. It is hard to put into words the many ways that our life is richer because of her. The tremendous peace of mind and support Suzie gives is already beyond anything we could have imagined. Nathan now knows that he can no longer run off in a store or across a parking lot and trust me he tries but once Suzie feels that pull of the belt and goes down, there is no moving her.

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Suzie takes her job very seriously and we are grateful every day to BluePath for training her and us so well. The ongoing support we have received from BluePath as we adjust to our new life with Suzie has been remarkable. Not only did BluePath find the perfect match in Suzie who is highly social just like Nathan, BluePath has been there every step of the way to ensure that we are successful and to help us tailor Suzie’s training to fit Nathan’s needs. Right now, instead of sitting on his brother’s head, we are working on ‘Smush’, the command Nathan uses to ask Suzie to lay across him when he feels anxious.

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I expected Suzie to foster independence for Nathan and become his new best friend and that she is. What I did not expect is the profound impact she has on the rest of the family, each of us with our own special bond with Suzie. ?It is thanks to the support from donors, community organizations and people like you who support BluePath that make it possible for such a big impact to be made to our lives from a little 55-pound angel called Suzie.