New Motherhood in an Era of Change

It is Sunday morning, but not just any Sunday - it is Mother's Day! Today marks my first Mother's Day, being a mom myself, and I wanted to honor this symbolic milestone by sharing some perspectives from a young professional, hardworking, ambitious and loving parent, who underwent a corporate restructure, new parenthood and a global pandemic in 2020. I know many of you are in the same boat, and I hope our collective tribe can relate to my candid reflections and find value in the thought processes.

I am sitting at our dining table with my morning tea, and as peaceful as that may sound, it is anything but that these days, with my 4-month old wonder baby Skyler, who's keeping me on my toes with feeding cues, crying, squirming, and doing everything he can to constantly have my full attention. Over the months I have undergone a steep learning journey to respond to his needs in a way where I am not repeatedly compromising my own schedule, juggling relationships, a full-time job, cleaning, cooking, and last but not least the "Pandemic we are all exhausted by" aka Corona Virus, which has taken a deep toll on my immediate community, living in the Greater New York City Area.

Never could I have imagined that I would be giving birth to a "coronial" and raising him in the midst of a global pandemic

I’ve been meaning to write these thoughts down for months, and have been keeping an active log of some of the concepts I’ve been reflecting on related to motherhood in the midst of a change.

On December 29, at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City, I found myself in the delivery room, and no birthing class could've prepared me for the intensity of emotions, pain, and life depending decision making that I was about to undergo. Now, I look back at those 17 hours as the ultimate bootcamp for what was to come. Who would’ve known that the birth of my child in that delivery room was the high intensity training I needed to prepare for a global pandemic, and all the change that came with it. The morning after the birth, I felt like a soldier who had gone to war, and won! The deep relief and eternal joy of waking up and seeing my baby boy in the clear hospital bassinet, was the moment it all became real, I was a mom.

The first month of his life was so intense, and we had the joyous opportunity to host grandparents flying in from around the world to visit, you know, the old normal where traveling across the Atlantic and Pacific was easy peasy. The news of a novel disease spreading in China and APJ had emerged, and the awareness was growing during early 2020, but folks outside were still hopeful that it was contained to that region. Until January 20th when the first novel case of Corona virus was discovered in Washington state, home to Skyler's Nani and Papa. In the beginning I don't think any one of us knew the devastating societal and human consequences that were still to come.

I blinked and it was February... Change was on the horizon, and everyone could feel the underlying pot stirring, building up anxiety of the unknowns in our global economies. I was still on maternity leave, when I received a call from my manager saying that there was going to be a corporate reorganization effective starting tomorrow. At first, I was devastated because this change impacted my direct management, and a person who had been my mentor and sponsor for the past 4 years, and the team we built together had been divided. Next, I felt anxiety - I was still on maternity leave at this critical point of my career where I had to prove myself to a new manager, and position all the hard work I had put in, prior to going on leave, to not become invisible. It was a stressful time, where women's inequality, despite it being unintentional, truly surfaced. I had the choice to stay on leave, but I chose to come back prematurely out of fear of missing out on my opportunity to have my voice heard in this new team I became a part of. I realize I can't be the only person having dealt with similar scenarios at work while being on leave, and it is something that I want to dedicate resources to figuring out how to relieve new parents from struggling with in the future, without compromising their precious leave time.

Literally everything around me has changed and yet, I feel more grounded and at peace with myself than ever - the reason: motherhood!

Flash forward to today, May 10 - 2020, Mother's Day. Change has become the new normal; Flipping what we normally would do on its head, seeing people in gallery view, watching humans on TikTok, staying at home, whipping coffee, finding community in social media, strengthening relationships through digital means - this is that time. An ever-changing reality that I feel anxious about, but with the support of my family, friends, and colleagues I am learning to thrive every day.

To all the moms (+ dads too) out there who are struggling with this intense challenging landscape and uncertain society, just remember that you were made for this! Ever since you set foot in that delivery room to give birth to you child, you underwent intense training in change management, unpredictables, variables, uncertainties, and insecurities. You will persevere, and any time you doubt that, just look at your little angel and they will give you the reassurance you need to carry on.

Raising children is an infinite journey of anxiety of what’s to come, an eternal learning journey teaching us all the small things that make us who we are, serving as a constant reminder that "We are the children". Happy Mother's Day all my fellow humans <3