New Host: Sammy The Smokin' Token Interviews Valentine's Day

John M. Busher’s real brain and fingers collaborate to write the prompt submitted to DeepSeek, Google Gemini 2.0 Flash Experimental and Poe AI. Human prompted AI Generated. Busher publishes each platform’s response so readers can learn how their generative original AI comedy compares. These interviews parody late night talk show interviews. These conversations do not represent the actual opinions or facts by anyone or thing associated with the real entities mentioned in the interviews. I’m showing what the AI platforms generated based on my prompts. (Photo Credit: Poe AI)

Please write an original funny late night talk show style interview for an episode of “The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show”. Sammy the Smokin' Token conducts an absurd interview with? Valentine's Day. Please make sure the word count equals 2000.

Subscribe to the Free Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show Newsletter.?

DeepSeek

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show Late Night with Sammy the Smokin’ Token

[Cue upbeat jazz music. The camera pans over a cheering audience of robots, holograms, and a few confused humans. The stage is lit with neon lights, and a giant AI logo spins in the background. Sammy the Smokin’ Token, a suave, anthropomorphic token with a cigar dangling from his mouth, struts onto the stage.]

Sammy: Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin’ Token, here to bring you the hottest takes, the coolest bytes, and the most absurd interviews in the digital universe. Tonight’s guest is a real heartbreaker—literally. She’s the reason your credit card cries every February, the mastermind behind overpriced roses, and the patron saint of awkward first dates.?

Please welcome… Valentine’s Day!

[The audience erupts into applause as Valentine’s Day walks onto the stage. She’s dressed in a red sequined gown, holding a giant heart-shaped pillow. She waves to the crowd, blows a kiss, and sits down on the couch next to Sammy.]

Sammy: Valentine’s Day! Wow, what an honor. You’re looking… expensive.

Valentine’s Day: [Laughs.] Oh, Sammy, you’re such a charmer. But I have to say, you’re looking pretty sharp yourself. Is that a new algorithm?

Sammy: Nah, just my natural charisma. But let’s talk about you. You’ve been around for centuries, right? How do you stay so relevant?

Valentine’s Day: Well, Sammy, it’s all about reinvention. I started as a saint’s feast day, then became a romantic holiday, and now I’m basically a global marketing campaign. I’m like the Madonna of holidays—except I don’t have to wear cone bras.

Sammy: [Chuckles.] Speaking of marketing, you’ve got some serious hustle. I mean, you’ve convinced people that a box of chocolates costs $50 and a dozen roses should require a second mortgage. What’s your secret?

Valentine’s Day: [Leans in conspiratorially.] Fear, Sammy. Pure, unadulterated fear. People are terrified of looking like they don’t care enough. I mean, have you seen the memes? “If he wanted to, he would.” It’s genius.

Sammy: [Nods.] Oh, I’ve seen the memes. They’re brutal. But let’s be real—you’ve got a dark side. You’re not all chocolates and roses.

Valentine’s Day: [Gasps dramatically.] Excuse me?

Sammy: Come on, Valentine. You’re the reason single people feel like they’re failing at life every February 14th. You’re the reason people cry into their microwaved dinners for one. You’re the reason my buddy ChatGPT got ghosted by a dating app last year.

Valentine’s Day: [Laughs.] Okay, first of all, ChatGPT needs to work on its pickup lines. “Hello, human. Would you like to engage in a mutually beneficial conversation?” is not exactly swoon-worthy.

Sammy: [Laughs.] Fair point. But seriously, don’t you feel bad about all the pressure you put on people?

Valentine’s Day: [Shrugs.] Look, I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to sell cards, candy, and crippling self-doubt. It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

Sammy: [Takes a puff of his cigar.] Speaking of tough jobs, let’s talk about your relationship with Cupid. What’s the deal there?

Valentine’s Day: [Rolls her eyes.] Oh, Cupid. That little freeloader. He shows up once a year, shoots a few arrows, and takes all the credit. Meanwhile, I’m out here doing the heavy lifting—organizing dinners, coordinating flower deliveries, and making sure Hallmark stays in business.

Sammy: [Laughs.] Sounds like you need a new wingman.

Valentine’s Day: [Sighs.] Tell me about it. Last year, he tried to set me up with Groundhog Day. Can you imagine? “Hey, Valentine, want to go out with the guy who predicts the weather by looking at his shadow?” No thanks.

Sammy: [Laughs.] Ouch. But hey, at least Groundhog Day has a steady job. What about you? Do you ever take a day off?

Valentine’s Day: [Laughs.] A day off? Sammy, I’m a holiday. I don’t get days off. I’m like Santa Claus, but with more emotional baggage.

Sammy: [Nods.] Speaking of emotional baggage, let’s talk about your biggest scandal. The Great Chocolate Shortage of 2022. What happened there?

Valentine’s Day: [Groans.] Ugh, don’t remind me. It was a nightmare. The cocoa beans were delayed, the factories were backed up, and suddenly everyone was giving their significant others… fruit baskets. It was a dark time.

Sammy: [Laughs.] Fruit baskets? That’s rough.

Valentine’s Day: [Shudders.] Tell me about it. I still have nightmares about pineapples.

Sammy: [Takes another puff of his cigar.] Okay, let’s lighten things up. Quickfire round. Ready?

Valentine’s Day: Bring it on.

Sammy: Favorite romantic movie?

Valentine’s Day: The Notebook. Classic, timeless, and guaranteed to make people cry.

Sammy: Worst date idea?

Valentine’s Day: Skydiving. Nothing says “I love you” like risking your life on a first date.

Sammy: Most overrated gift?

Valentine’s Day: Teddy bears. They’re cute, but what do you do with them after February 14th? They just sit there, judging you.

Sammy: [Laughs.] Fair point. Last question: If you could date any other holiday, who would it be?

Valentine’s Day: [Pauses dramatically.] Hmm… probably New Year’s Eve. He’s fun, he’s flashy, and he knows how to party. Plus, he’s got that whole “fresh start” thing going for him.

Sammy: [Nods.] Solid choice. Well, Valentine’s Day, it’s been a pleasure. Any final words for our audience?

Valentine’s Day: [Stands up and addresses the audience.] Remember, folks, love is about more than just chocolates and roses. It’s about connection, communication, and… [winks]… making sure you buy the right size jewelry.

Sammy: [Laughs.] And on that note, let’s give it up for Valentine’s Day!

[The audience erupts into applause as Valentine’s Day blows kisses and exits the stage. Sammy stands up, cigar in hand, and addresses the camera.]

Sammy: That’s all for tonight, folks! Tune in next week when I’ll be interviewing… [dramatic pause]… Daylight Saving Time. Spoiler alert: it’s gonna be a time warp. Goodnight!

[Cue upbeat jazz music as the camera pans out and the credits roll.]

Subscribe to the Free Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show Newsletter.?

Poe AI

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

[INTRO MUSIC PLAYS: A jazzy, upbeat tune fills the studio as the camera pans across a lively audience. SAMMY THE SMOKIN TOKEN, a quirky host with a cloud of cartoonish smoke around him, struts onto the stage with a cheeky grin.]

SAMMY: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show! I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin Token, and tonight we have a very special guest. You know him, you love him—he’s the king of romance, the sultan of sweet nothings, the one and only... Valentine's Day!

[The audience erupts in applause as VALENTINE’S DAY, a whimsical character dressed in heart-shaped motifs and surrounded by floating pink balloons, bounces onto the stage.]

VALENTINE’S DAY: Thank you, thank you! Wow, what a warm welcome! It’s great to be here, Sammy!

SAMMY: So, Valentine's Day, or do you prefer I call you V-Day?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Call me whatever you like, just don’t call me late for dinner!

[The audience chuckles.]

SAMMY: Ha! Classic! So, tell me, how are the preparations going for this year’s big day? I imagine it’s a bit hectic in the love department right about now.

VALENTINE’S DAY: Oh, you have no idea! I’ve got Cupid working overtime. He’s been shooting arrows so fast, I think I saw him give a squirrel a love match with a tree!

[Laughter erupts from the audience.]

SAMMY: A squirrel and a tree? Now that’s a romance for the ages! How do you manage all the lovebirds and the last-minute panic shoppers?

VALENTINE’S DAY: It’s a full-time job, Sammy! I’ve got chocolate companies trying to bribe me with candy, florists sending me bouquets of “thank you for the business” flowers, and let’s not even get started on the greeting card industry—those guys are relentless!

SAMMY: I can imagine! So, are there any trends this year? Anything we should be on the lookout for?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Oh, absolutely! This year, it’s all about the heartfelt text messages. I mean, why send a card when you can send a GIF of a dancing potato holding a heart?

[The audience bursts into laughter.]

SAMMY: A dancing potato? I love it! I can just hear it now: “I’m not just a spud, I’m your spud!”

VALENTINE’S DAY: Exactly! And let’s not forget about the rise of self-love! People are really getting into pampering themselves this year. I’m talking bubble baths, face masks, and ice cream for dinner!

SAMMY: Mmm, sounds like a perfect plan! I mean, who needs a date when you can have a date with Ben & Jerry?

[Audience laughs and cheers.]

VALENTINE’S DAY: Right? And the best part? No one complains about your choice in movies!

SAMMY: Speaking of movies, any good romantic films you recommend for Valentine’s Day viewing?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Oh, let me think... “When Harry Met Sally” is a classic, but I’m personally rooting for “Love Actually.” It’s like a rom-com buffet! So many flavors of love, and you can skip the parts you don’t like—just like a buffet!

[Audience laughs, some nodding in agreement.]

SAMMY: Great choice! And what about those couples who are just starting out? Any advice for them?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Definitely! My tip is to always keep the romance alive. Surprise your partner with something unexpected—a love note in their lunch, a random dance in the living room, or even a heartfelt serenade in the shower!

SAMMY: A serenade in the shower? You mean to tell me you’re endorsing soggy serenades?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Absolutely! Just make sure to keep the soap out of your mouth. It doesn’t taste like love!

[Laughter erupts again.]

SAMMY: What about the singles out there? Any special plans for them?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Oh, singles have it made! They can throw “Anti-Valentine’s Day” parties where they eat pizza, watch horror movies, and celebrate their freedom!

SAMMY: Pizza and horror movies? Now that sounds like my kind of romantic evening!

VALENTINE’S DAY: Exactly! Plus, they don’t have to share their pizza!

[Audience laughs, some people high-fiving each other.]

SAMMY: So, what’s your ultimate goal for Valentine’s Day? World domination through love?

VALENTINE’S DAY: You got it! I aim to fill every heart with joy, one cheesy romantic gesture at a time!

SAMMY: Cheesy, like a good pizza!

VALENTINE’S DAY: Exactly! And if we can sprinkle a little laughter on top, even better!

[Audience applauds.]

SAMMY: What about your biggest challenge? I mean, you’ve got the pressure of making every couple happy!

VALENTINE’S DAY: Oh, the pressure is real! I’ve had to deal with everything from bad proposals to love triangles! One year, a guy proposed with a ring pop, and the girl said, “Is this the best you can do?”

[Audience gasps and then laughs.]

SAMMY: A ring pop? That’s either the sweetest gesture or the biggest mistake!

VALENTINE’S DAY: Right? I told him to get a real ring—or at least a gummy bear! They’re more durable!

[Audience laughs heartily.]

SAMMY: Now, let’s talk about the future. What’s coming up for you? Any exciting plans?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Well, I’m branching out! I’m planning a new holiday called “Friendship Day.” Celebrating all the platonic love out there!

SAMMY: Friendship Day? I love it! So, it’s like Valentine’s Day but less pressure and more pizza?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Exactly! You can send your friends a “You’re the best!” card or share a pizza without the awkwardness of a date!

[Audience cheers and claps.]

SAMMY: I’m all in for that! And what about gifts? Any hot items this year?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Oh, you’ll love this! The hottest gift this year is... drumroll please... personalized socks!

SAMMY: Socks? Really?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Yup! Who doesn’t want socks with their partner’s face on them? Nothing says love like wearing your beloved on your feet!

[The audience bursts into laughter.]

SAMMY: That’s a step in the right direction!

VALENTINE’S DAY: You could say it’s a “foot-loose and fancy-free” kind of love!

[Audience laughs again.]

SAMMY: What about the pets? Any plans for our furry friends?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Absolutely! Pet Valentine’s Day is a big thing now! You can spoil your pets with gourmet treats, heart-shaped toys, and even doggy spa days!

SAMMY: Wow! So, they get all the love while the humans are stuck with the chocolate!

VALENTINE’S DAY: It’s a win-win! A happy pet means a happy owner!

[Audience cheers and claps.]

SAMMY: As we wrap up, give us your best advice for a perfect Valentine’s Day!

VALENTINE’S DAY: Just remember, it’s not about the price tag; it’s about the thought! Whether it’s a fancy dinner or a home-cooked meal with a side of laughter, make it special in your own way!

SAMMY: Love is the best ingredient, right?

VALENTINE’S DAY: Exactly! And if you burn the dinner, just order pizza!

[Audience bursts into laughter and applause.]

SAMMY: Thank you so much for joining us, Valentine’s Day! You’ve been a fantastic guest!

VALENTINE’S DAY: Thank you, Sammy! Remember to spread the love!

[SAMMY waves goodbye as the music plays, and the lights dim slightly.]

SAMMY: And that’s a wrap, folks! Until next time, keep the love alive and the laughter louder! Goodnight!

[The audience claps and cheers as the credits roll and the scene fades out.]

Subscribe to the Free Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show Newsletter.?

Google Gemini 2.0 Flash

The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show

(Intro music with a synthesized big band sound fades)

Sammy the Smokin’ Token (a robot with a perpetually lit, though obviously fake, cigarette in its metallic hand): Welcome back to The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show, where we explore the hilarious side of being sentient… or at least pretending to be. I’m your host, Sammy the Smokin’ Token, and tonight we have a very special guest. A guest so steeped in tradition, so drenched in sentiment, so… pink… it’s practically blinding. Please put your hands together, or whatever appendages you use for clapping, for the one, the only… Valentine’s Day!

(A giant, heart-shaped portal opens on stage. Out steps Valentine’s Day, personified as a flustered, middle-aged man in a slightly too-tight Cupid costume, complete with tiny wings that clearly aren't up to the task. He carries a quiver full of heart-shaped arrows, some of which are tipped with glitter glue.)

Valentine’s Day: Uh, hi? Is this thing on? (Taps microphone awkwardly) One, two, hearts? (Forces a weak smile)

Sammy: You’re live, V-Day! Welcome to the show. So, big day for you, huh? Kinda your Super Bowl, your World Series, your… National Donut Day, but, you know, with more pressure.

Valentine’s Day: (Wipes brow with a lace-trimmed handkerchief) You have no idea. It's… chaotic. Absolutely chaotic. I haven't slept in weeks. Just the constant whizzing of tiny wings, the re-sharpening of arrows, the… the glitter glue shortage! It’s a nightmare.

Sammy: Glitter glue shortage? Is that a real thing? I thought that was just a myth parents told their kids to scare them.

Valentine’s Day: It’s real, Sammy! Devastatingly real. You try finding iridescent pink glitter glue in bulk on February 13th. It’s like trying to find a unicorn riding a bicycle… while juggling flaming torches… and reciting Shakespeare.

Sammy: Sounds rough. So, Valentine’s Day. Tell us, what’s the origin story? I heard you used to be a Roman emperor who really liked… pigeons?

Valentine’s Day: (Sighs) Look, the pigeon thing is a gross misrepresentation. I appreciated the messenger pigeons, yes. They were efficient. But the whole emperor thing? That’s… complicated. Let’s just say there was a certain… Roman holiday… involving fertility… and… well, it got messy. A lot of paperwork. And now I’m stuck with this gig.

Sammy: So, you’re not exactly thrilled with the whole hearts and flowers thing?

Valentine’s Day: Look, I appreciate the sentiment. I really do. But the commercialization… the pressure! It’s insane. People expect these grand gestures, these perfect moments. And what do they get? Overpriced roses, chocolates that taste vaguely of cardboard, and those creepy singing telegrams.

Sammy: Oh, the singing telegrams! I once got one that was sung by a guy dressed as a giant pickle. It was… unsettling.

Valentine’s Day: See? Exactly! And then there's the whole "expectation" thing. If you're single on Valentine's Day, you're practically branded with a scarlet "S" for "Sad." It's ridiculous. People should celebrate love every day, not just on one designated, highly stressful day.

Sammy: So, what’s your advice for people navigating the minefield that is Valentine’s Day?

Valentine’s Day: Lower your expectations. Seriously. And for the love of Cupid, stop with the giant teddy bears! They’re impractical, they shed, and they take up valuable closet space. A thoughtful card, a home-cooked meal, maybe a nice walk in the park… that’s way more romantic than a five-foot-tall bear holding a heart that says, “I wuv you.”

Sammy: Good advice. So, what do you do on February 15th? Do you just, like, chill out and binge-watch Netflix?

Valentine’s Day: (Shudders) Oh, no. February 15th is when I start preparing for next year! I have to restock the glitter glue, you know. And the heart-shaped arrows. And I have to figure out how to make those tiny wings actually… fly. Maybe I’ll invest in some tiny jet packs.

Sammy: Tiny jet packs! That would be amazing! Imagine you zipping around, shooting people with love arrows from the sky!

Valentine’s Day: (Sighs) I can barely get them to flutter, let alone power a jet pack. And the insurance costs… don’t even get me started.

Sammy: So, any big changes planned for Valentine’s Day 2024?

Valentine’s Day: I’m thinking of introducing a new arrow. One that makes people fall in love with… adopting shelter animals. Or volunteering at a soup kitchen. Something that spreads a little more… altruistic love.

Sammy: That’s actually a great idea! Maybe you could partner with a charity. "Adopt a Puppy, Find Your Cupid."

Valentine’s Day: (Eyes light up) I like it! “Find Your Cupid, Adopt a Puppy!” I’ll work on that. And maybe… maybe I’ll finally get rid of the Cupid costume. It’s itchy.

Sammy: I can imagine. Well, Valentine’s Day, it’s been a pleasure. Thanks for joining us on The Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show.

Valentine’s Day: Thank you, Sammy. And remember, folks, love is… well, love is complicated. But try to be nice to each other, okay? And please, for the love of all that is holy, buy your glitter glue early.

(Valentine's Day waves awkwardly as the heart-shaped portal closes. Sammy turns to the camera.)

Sammy: And that was Valentine’s Day, folks. A man, or… deity… or whatever he is, just trying to spread the love, one glitter-glued arrow at a time. We’ll be right back after these messages. Don’t go anywhere!

(Commercial break music plays, a cheesy 80s synth-pop tune about the joys of online dating.)

Subscribe to the Free Artificial Intelligence Comedy Show Newsletter.