New Dreams, New Hopes and New Beginnings…

New Year…

Have you ever thought what new year means to you? When you think of the year ahead what kind of emotions are going through your body? Do you ever find yourself planning the new year and how it’s going to be for you?

Well New Year’s meaning can differ for everybody. But when I think about New Year it brings me joy, motivation and new planning strategies. You may not be aware that you have new year goals, but hopes and dreams about future are goals as well.

Most of the time I hear that people try to make new year resolutions and try keep up with them. Although, if these goals are not realistic the resulting emotions could be devastating. Whether you try to learn a new skill, get a healthy diet or save up some money you may find yourself in cycle of setting up goals and failing. But why and how we can set the goals that we can achieve?

First, let’s talk a bit about our goal achievement motivation. Setting up goals and trying to achieve them is directly related to aim, focus and achievement behavioral cycle. Goals involve cognitive and behavioral activities. If we are motivated towards a goal, we are highly likely to achieve it. However, keep in mind that goals are dynamic. Which means they are context based and can change over time, because our lives are dynamic. We learn from our past and try to apply our learnings to our future. But why do we fail?

We all have 365 days for the year ahead. It’s up to you that how you want to spend this 365 days. For instance, a lot of people try to eat healthy with the begging of the new year, but only some of them can actually keep this as a habit. This difference of behavior is coming from our perception of the events. Because from our past experiences, our different and unique life cycles we experience events differently from others thus the meaning of whatever that is we are trying to achieve is different. Statistics show that only 8-12% of people follow their wishes and goals towards the end of the year.

SO, WHAT CAN WE DO?

Make realistic plans. If you don’t set realistic goals, your motivation will wane in time. Your goals should have personal value and significance. Wanting to do something and feeling that you should do is two different key factors of setting goals. If you want to habit a healthy diet for your own well-being than go on. But if you feel like you should eat healthy because you need to fit the standards than I’m sorry to tell you that this is not what you want, so your chances of failing are high.

Start identifying your values before setting up your goals. Ask yourself what would make you happy throughout this achievement process. Ask yourself about your dreams. Find alternative ways to reach your dreams and see which way will make you happy during this process. And when you think that you found your goal also ask yourself why would you want to do this.

For instance, write 10 causes of why you want to set this goal. Without concrete strategies and purposes, it’s unlikely for you to achieve them.

Planning ahead can help you to start, unless you don’t want to navigate your ship without a designated route. Maybe even you can get some help on the way. If you don’t know how to cook, you can’t cook without a recipe. So, accept the help.

Sometimes the hard part is to start. So, we tend to delay. But to achieve our goals we need to start from somewhere. If you can’t find enough motivation to start, then go back to begging where you were questioning your values. Why do we have tendency to delay? Is it because this is not what really want or is there a learnt helplessness. Which is directly linked to our life cycles. From previous years, you might have learnt that you are bad at achievements, your inner voice might have say that “you are going to fail eventually”. So why try if you already think that you are going to fail. Our inner voice could be the most demotivating factor for our goals.

STOP. Stop listening to your inner voice. He/she might have learnt something from the past. But you are not living in the past. You are here. Aware of your presence in this time. While you are reading this, while doing the chores, while driving… Try to stay present. Close that window of the past and open a new one. Where you can learn new things. You are not who you were yesterday or you are not who you were before reading this blog post. Because, you learned a new perspective. Try to embrace yourself with understanding and love. If you blame yourself for failing, this means you are ignoring every bit of you that is trying to achieve new things.

Every day is a new beginning, so we don’t have to start our achievement journey on the 1’st day of January. You can start whenever you are. This your life and it’s unique.

HAPPIEST NEW YEAR

Clinical Psychologist ~ Shebnem Turkmen