A new digital age is upon us! We must redefine what it means to be ‘present’ – and how we want to interact with each other.

TL;DL

The much-needed social glue between people working together as a team can be maintained just as easily via digital tools as with traditional in-person meetings. However, in order to unlock the full potential of remote work, we need to start seeing those tools as more than just a fallback option in times where physical distance does not allow for on-site meetings. We need to learn how to actually translate our social rituals into the digital world.

Key takeaways

• Encourage your teams to give each other a virtual call more frequently; if only briefly.
• Discover often overlooked opportunities of virtual spaces, e.g.: potentially improved accessibility and inclusion; an equal sense of belonging for introverted people (instead of awkwardly sitting in the corner during your office party).
• If you schedule a remote get-together for your team, think about the social courtesies that an in-person gathering would usually include: people arriving (some early, some right on time, some late); people settling in, warming up to each other; people standing/sitting together in groups to have casual or specific conversations. Make sure your virtual gathering allows for such natural social exchange to happen. Create an environment where people feel confident to be themselves. Remind them: it's a social call, not a business meeting.

Prefatory remarks

For this one I'm leaving my usual frame of storytelling a bit. However, since empathy in internal communication is something I am a) deeply passionate about and b) can be understood as part of your story as an employer brand, I though I’d share my two cents with everyone.

If this resonates with you at all – please do let me know – or, if you know anyone who may profit from these yet raw findings of mine: feel free to share. If you think your teams are in dire need of more such insights: I may have a limited number of slots available in my calendar for paid preaching sessions.

The?privilege?of a few

Working remotely is – at least at this point in time – very much a privilege for the few, not something that works for the many (specifically for truly relevant jobs, say, health workers or people who actually create something tangible).

However, since, at least in my social bubble, remote work is here to stay, I argue that those working in professions that allow for them to work efficiently from their homes, or even while travelling the world, are early adopters of what a large part of our work will look like in just a few decades. I argue that we would do well watching closely how this this fancy ‘New Work’ unfolds – and that we need to invest, not only in structures and routines surrounding the digital tools that enable it, but more importantly: in the new routines that need to be established, and in the people that need to be encouraged (or shown how) to translate social rituals into the digital world.

I propose that we need a new social contract; a redefined cultural agreement around what it means to be ‘present’, and how we want to interact with each other in order to maintain a feeling of belonging, even when we cannot be in the same physical place.

Does not compute?

Let me start by giving an example that may well be purely hypothetical in nature. Imagine you were organising a remote get-together for your team; a lovely social call after work for everyone to get to know each other better. You prepared a trivia quiz, since you heard those are great as a remote team building activity.

On the actual night of the event (or, if you're wise: on that afternoon that you've told everyone to take off in order to take part), everyone joins the virtual call, and as soon as the necessary courtesies have been exchanged, trivia night can begin. You've organised everything meticulously, and everyone seems eager to follow the rules you set out, and of course get as many of the answers right as they can. What a fun night for everyone (or so you think), until it's over.

Everybody says their goodbyes – not, however, without someone mentioning how much nicer this would have been in person. And yet another person pointing out that some aspects of social aspects are simply not possible to compensate for with a virtual event.

Do?you?even?try?

I cannot stress enough how much it disappoints me (we both know I meant to type "how much it annoys me", right) to witness people claiming: "it just works better in person" – when they have not even given any thought to how to actually perform the desired social goal.

If said goal is for people to get to know each other: well, start by not streamlining everything about your virtual event to deliver the perfect, competitive quiz night! Consider instead: what courtesies and rituals would you allow for if this where a get-together in the physical world? Welcome drinks, perhaps? People taking some time to warm up to each other, maybe even get into conversations about work (or their personal lives)?

Those activities are the ones you want to make sure people feel comfortable performing – sounds rather obvious when you put it into words, doesn't it? And in order for those activities to happen, you need to reserve dedicated slots in your virtual event. Otherwise it's not going to happen. Believe me, I've witnessed it – hypothetically, of course.

Don’t?just recall?them!

There seems to exist a tendency to belittle the opportunities that virtual spaces offer in terms of providing the necessary social glue between people working together as a team. This in turn may lead to everyone ending up discouraged to interact with each other on a personal level altogether – leaving teams feeling disconnected from each other. This in turn may lead to management to overreact and use such reported consequences as a welcomed excuse to recall everyone to the physical office, creating a toxic environment of distrust along the way.

I argue that, in order to reproduce the complex behavioural patterns that make our social interactions flow naturally (for some people) when we meet in physical spaces, we have to create a completely new set of social conventions for virtual workspaces.

This really is something that, in my observation, we have yet to address properly. And yet, some of us are already abandoning ship, instead of trying to learn how to steer it through the storm in order to reach the noble shores of social glue in the age of digital work environments.

Everybody wins

So what's my solution, I hear you ask? Well, that solution is really more a long-term investment by everyone involved: the open-mindedness to try and update our social habits so they can flourish also in virtual spaces. In my opinion, we all need to learn how to better translate our social skills into rituals that works in the digital world. Instead of blaming non-existent digital routines for a lack of social glue to occur via digital media, why don’t we all inspire each other, our colleagues, our teams, to use those tools to recreate a well-rounded social experience in the workplace.

To that end, I propose that leaders must move beyond just providing a legal framework and the technical equipment needed in order to work from home.

Teams need to be enabled, and feel empowered, to unlearn their traditional understanding of social interactions being adequate only when performed “in the real world”. And people are going to need guidance in order to become confident about continuing in the virtual medium the same kinds of interaction they have grown fond of over years, or decades, of being together in physical workspaces.

Call. Me. Anytime (almost).

And to those who feel like they’re missing out on fond habits and social rituals, I say: If you are bold enough to approach me across the (historical) desk or at the (metaphorical) coffee machine – why not do the same remotely? Just give me a quick virtual call (whenever my status is set to Available). And if you would like to meet up for a drink: just ask me, if I'm up for it. At least you'll get a response that's less influenced by peer pressure and more by how I actually feel.

To everyone else I say:

With a new digital age right at our doorstep, let's all give virtual spaces the chance to become more than just fallback options for the physical places we'd rather meet in.

If we practice the relevant social skills now, we may well find them useful to maintain social glue in the digital days to come.

—

Thomas Langnickel-Stiegler studied Language and Communication with the main subjects German and English at?his hometown's University of Siegen. Following his bachelor's thesis on the concepts of 'image' and 'identity' in business companies, Thomas relocated to Munich, where he trained both as a copywriter with an advertising agency and as a public relations consultant within the film & TV industry. From 2009 to 2017 Thomas worked as a freelance copywriter and communications consultant in Berlin; since 2016 also as a brand consultant for industry companies. Until 2020, he worked as a content and product specialist in the marketing department of an international family company based in Wuppertal.

Today, Thomas works part-time as a?creative strategist with FAKTUR – and he continues to follow his second calling of?getting people excited about tea?both as an industry consultant and as an occasional content creator. Thomas lives in Cologne with his fellow gaming-nerd husband.