A New Definition of Generosity

Generosity can be a game changer for our lives.

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And here’s a new definition I found recently that I want to share: Generosity is any act of kindness in which we don’t expect anything in return.

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What a powerful way to think about it. That new definition expanded the word significantly for me. I started thinking of generosity in such a different way. It’s a mindset shift.

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And it’s something to keep in mind this holiday season. In addition to our work and home responsibilities, our community or volunteerism – we have a lot of extra events going on as well. And all of that can cause us to feel a little bit depleted or pulled in multiple directions.

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Does this sound familiar? You wake up at 5am and get everyone off to school, at work you’re busy responding to emails/voicemails, you take a quick lunch with a friend and listen to all their life updates, do some more work when suddenly it’s 5pm and time to leave. Then it’s off to a holiday party or shopping or another event that goes up until bedtime. You fall asleep after a whirlwind day just to wake up and do it all over again the next day. How sustainable is that?

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So I want to leave you with this one last piece of advice to focus on this holiday season: To be the most generous, you have to start first by being generous towards yourself.

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Just like the airplane instructions, you must put your oxygen mask on first so you can breathe and be able to help others. It doesn’t work if you try to do everything for everyone else first, leaving you spent and exhausted.

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Here are 3 things I’m going to focus on to help me be more generous towards myself. Let me know which one(s) resonate with you.

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Give myself permission to say no - without guilt or stress or anxiety. This one may be hard, but I’m going to give myself permission to take a break when I need it. To do that I have to pay attention to those signs within my body that are telling me I’m mentally, emotionally or physically exhausted. ?

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Next time I get invited to a party or asked to take on an extra project that may cause me to stay at work longer and I don’t have energy to do it – I’m going to say no. It’s going to be scary at first, but once you start doing it, you’ll see how much more you can get done.

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Be generous with my feelings. I’m going to allow myself to fully experience my feelings, positive or negative, and listen to the message they’re telling me. I’m not going to push aside or bury them, but really sit with them and be okay feeling them.

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Have you ever been on your way to work, having a good conversation with your spouse or friend, when it suddenly turns sideways, and you end the call on a sour note? You’re upset, but you just got to work. You put on a smile and walk in, pushing those feelings down and not addressing them. But if you suppress those feelings and don’t address them, it can create more anxiety and stress – eventually depleting your energy.

So be intentional about addressing your feelings. You can put them aside momentarily to be in service to others, but what’s important is that we come back and address those feelings for ourselves.

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Give yourself the gift of silence. In the midst of all the holiday chaos (the parties, the gifts, the work, the running around), one of the most generous things you can give yourself every single day is moments of silence. Whatever you need, whether it’s 2 minutes, 30 minutes or even an hour, take that time to allow your brain to take a moment of calm to settle down and process everything that happened during the day.

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It’s one of the hardest things for me to do. And yet when I can, no matter how short the break, I feel so much more restored and so much more capable of giving my all the next day.

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So, there you have it. Three acts of generosity that you can give yourself this holiday season.

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Maybe you have a different way of being generous to yourself. Share it in the comments below and let’s all enjoy a wonderful holiday season together.