New Dads Should Take More Time Off Work: My Story.

3:34AM. The night air is pierced with a strangely reassuring cry. It’s my four month old baby, Bobbie, who has decided to let us know that something is not quite right. Nappy? Hungry? Need a cuddle??

It turns out to be an unprecedented, delicate combination of all three. Gentle words and a hug later and she’s back in bed. I’m drifting too, heavy-eyed, feeling almost joyous as I edge closer to my own desperate need of slee-

RINNNNNNNGGGG.

5:58AM. Today is different. Four months of shared parental leave are over and I’m back to work. Monday 10th October. A normal, working day for millions is the end of a chapter in my family story and the blank page of a new one.

It has been utterly joyous to have this time to welcome Bobbie into the world and create a home for her. I’ve learned so much about this tiny human being - much more, if I’m being totally honest, than I ever expected to learn when I first told my boss at Tony Blair Institute for Global Change that I wanted to take shared leave. My gut at the time told me it was the right thing to do - for me, for my partner, for my new family. It has taught me about two relationships: the one with work and the one with my wonderful partner, Hannah Barlow . We’ve spent this time unexpectedly forging a new relationship that will be the base from which we face the inevitable challenges ahead. That starts today as we navigate a patchwork childcare set-up until we get something long-term in place.?

I’m acutely aware of the privilege I wear. Shared parental leave is a luxury for most but it should not be. I stand on the shoulders of millions of dads before me, many of whom have told me how they’d have loved to have spent more time with their newborns and new families before going on to reveal how absurdly short their own time off was. It’s telling that as they talk eyes glisten and for a fleeting moment, memories surface from those early days. My own dad told me he took less than a week as the option was simply not available. My step-dad the same.

Not a single person has spoken negatively about my decision to take extended leave. Including and to their absolute credit, my brilliant team who didn’t just hold the fort but made it even stronger ( Daniel Sleat , Marianna McFadden and Emma McNicholas ) and the leaders at Institute for Global Change including my boss Tony Blair, whose transformative government introduced paid paternity leave in 2001. The rationale for dads spending more time with their kids was as strong then as it is now. By taking this time off, I understand my baby better - her wants and needs (including how to change a nappy in record time), and I feel confident with her on my own and can more readily share childcare with my partner, Hannah. Hannah runs her own business, BB Partners and given their rapid growth, including a full time workforce now in double digits, Hannah returned to work early and shared parental leave helped. Although I’ve a feeling she probably could do it solo: her success at growing a beautiful baby and a successful business is awe-inspiring.

There are fistfuls of studies supporting more time off for dads but beyond the empirical evidence, I also just have this sense of looking back at the last four months and knowing that, boiled down to raw human feelings, I’ve absolutely loved it. It just is the right thing to do and no period of time has come close - and I remember Liverpool’s 00/01 season. But the data is worth looking at:

? Dads who take more than two weeks of parental leave are 30% less likely to separate from their partners.(Olah, 2001)

? It is estimated that each additional month of parental leave taken by a dad increases a mum’s earnings by 6.7% (Johannson, 2010)

? Extended leave is associated with dads being more satisfied in the time they spend with their children (Haas & Hoang, 2008) and placing a higher value on family life (Feldman et al. 2004)

I share this not to assert moral pressure or cast judgment on those who haven’t or can’t take leave but instead to push for a shift both in policy and culture. Paid extended leave isn’t government policy and is not available to enough people. It should be. Then there’s the pressure for a dad to be “at work” - an intense feeling that plays with job security at a sensitive time. I had moments where I felt it. It never came from my employer but from within me. I love my job at TBI and there were inevitable moments when I felt I’d be missing out or sacrificing something. I’m reminded of a conversation with the fantastic Anne-Marie Canning MBE whose wisdom I immediately sought when deciding what to do. “What if I take the time off and fall behind?” Her response was sharp and to the point: “This is how every woman who has a kid feels in their career.”

She was right. And no amount of well-written policy or legislation can change that. It requires an individual mental shift which can only be built on a collective cultural shift. As someone responsible for a large team of current and potential parents, it’s made me reflect on how I approach team members when it comes to their leave.?

Those fleeting moments of insecurity led to me doing more than I probably should have. But other than a few too many service station stops, I have zero regrets. Knowing my baby was in the large auditorium as I addressed our Future of Britain Conference or holding her at Labour and Tory Party Conferences which Hannah and I both attended for our work secured memories that will be with us for life. And I have a picture of a tiny Bobbie, breaking all sorts of political conventions as she reveals her ambition at Labour Party Conference:

I work in politics. My job is to forge a new progressive agenda for Britain and I’m proud that Tony Blair Institute for Global Change is practicing what it preaches. Beyond individual workplaces, my mind drifts to what the next progressive government can do. Two weeks of statutory paid parental leave is not enough. Six weeks should be the minimum. It’s expensive but the benefits to the country - economically and socially - make it an investment and not a cost. At an organisation level, there is inspiration everywhere. I look at inspiring leaders who are rolling our equal parental leave entitlements to dads and mums. Polly Mackenzie at 英国伦敦艺术大学 announced this week that they’ll be offering “six months paid parental leave regardless of gender”. Aviva have been trailblazers and, hat tip to my remarkable partner again, Hannah Barlow and her co-founder Gosia Brzezińska are leading the way for small businesses at BB Partners where all staff members are entitled to three full months of parental pay.

c. 09.00AM. Sitting down to work. The end of my first chapter with Bobbie but only the beginning of a long, loving, exciting story. Here’s to it unfolding against a?backdrop of positive, progressive change to parental leave that will make our country fairer, more prosperous and an even better place to live.

If you’re a future parent thinking about taking shared leave and have questions, you know where I am. Having a chat is least we can do for those dads who have gone before us.