A new broom swept into town

New Brooms and Broom Wagons

Last week's newsletter came to you from Belgium, where I was watching my son compete in the 2022 Philippe Gilbert junior classic cycling race. (Actually, that's not entirely true, since the boys ride very very fast and whilst I knew he was in the bunch I have to confess I only spotted him once).

Most bike races don't go straight from A to B. Often there will be a bit where you go round in a loop, which is repeated two or three times. That's why, if you're not good enough, the race organisers will pull you out. The "broom wagon" sweeps up stragglers who are not going to finish the race in the time permitted. It's not just that they're not fast enough, it's that they will actually get in the way of the faster riders who would otherwise end up lapping them.

It's ruthless. Not fast enough, out you go. There is no point to you anymore. You don't deserve to be in the race. As far as the competition is concerned you are irrelevant. At best, pointless, at worst a danger to others.

You can see where this is heading, can't you. Yes, there is a broom wagon on its way to Downing Street right now, or Chequers or wherever it is that Jeremy is currently telling Liz how things are going to be.

A couple of episodes ago, I pondered whether she'd be more Lady Jane Grey or Anne of A Thousand Days. My money is now on the Lady Jane side.

Fashion Advice

You may also recall that it's my dad's funeral this week and we all have to wear an "accent" of the rugby club colours, which are maroon, blue and gold. I was worrying about this, needlessly it turns out, as two loyal readers sprung to my assistance and offered a couple of solutions

The one on the left is probably closest to the brief. And it would certainly make my dad laugh. Though I suspect the provider of this suggestion is a better coach than she is a personal stylist.

In the end, I realised, I already had a perfectly suitable outfit so will be making do with that. Austere times.

We're All Bankers Now

Have you noticed how many people are suddenly experts in the bonds markets? Everyone seems to have a view about what's happening to gilts, real interest rates government debt, LDIs (liability driven investments of course), collateral, GDP and where exchange rates are heading?

We've been here before, of course, having had to learn very quickly how germs spread during a pandemic and the relative merits of attenuated versus mRNA vaccines.

Perhaps we could abandon the idea of having a government altogether and just manage things ourselves. I have suggested this before - we all take turns, like you do for jury service. Surely we couldn't make more of a hash of it than this bunch are doing?

My Pitch

• Do what Jamie Oliver suggested and expand free school meals to all children in families receiving Universal benefit. Apparently the cost is around $450m which is a trifle in the grand scheme of things
• Go ahead with the planned increase in Corporation Tax - companies were assuming it was coming so they can't really complain
• Take the West Coast rail franchise off Avanti immediately. They won't notice because they run so few trains anyway.
• Invest more not less in green energy - wind, solar, nuclear - they are long term investments but, hey, lives are long and unless things get really bad in Ukraine (and possibly Taiwan) the world's going to be around for a lot longer than the Conservative party, or any successor for that matter.
• Provide more opportunities for school leavers to take their further education in different ways - apprenticeships, shorter courses, vocational learning - three year university degrees cannot possibly be the only and best way of increasing the skills of the nation.
• Sort out the bloody Transpennine express which is currently more like a Transpennine Choo Choo train.

And ..... hold your breath

• Rejoin the single market

Meanwhile in the Real World

Sadly, I'm not in the running for PM and last time I looked no-one with any influence or power was actually asking for my advice, so back in the real world I'm getting on with trying to make sure my business, the Reignite Academy, survives the turmoil.

It's up and down.

On the up side, we're seeing many more candidates come through. Women who trained as lawyers, then walked away to find something that was more accommodating of having some semblance of family life, are now considering going back into the law. I'd like to say that this is because law firms now offer a lot more flexibility and have embraced remote working as part of the way things are done now.

However, whilst that's part of it, women have also been genning up on their economics lessons (see above) and have figured out that now is not the time to be sitting on unfulfilled potential, not to mention earnings power.

On the downside, the recruitment market is tight and so I'm back trying to convince clients that, yes, this woman might have had a five year career break, but trust me, she can absolutely get back up to speed and do the job. Luckily, I have several Blue Peter "Here's one I made earlier" examples to help with that particular challenge.

Did You Hear The One About ...

The Festival of Brexit????? Did you know this was a thing? It cost ￡120m (25% of my school meals budget), was the brainchild of Theresa May and was given its name by one Jacob Rees Mogg.

Anyway, the National Audit Office is about to investigate what one commentator called an "Unadulterated Shambles".

Stop! No need for an investigation. Save the money. Shut it down now.

Unadulterated Shambles

What a great phrase. And how apposite.

I'm off now to peel some potatoes. My son is now in his "off season" which means he doesn't spend hours and hours riding his bike and has time to indulge his other passion, which is cooking. He's making beef wellington, taking advantage of the fact that his sister, the pescatarian, is up in Manchester living the life of Riley on one of those three year university courses.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm reading: Getting Lost by Annie Ernaux. She just won the Nobel prize for literature.

I'm NOT watching: This England. Have you seen it? Personally, I find it strange/depressing/unedifying. There are lots of scenes of people suffering in care homes and hospitals, interspersed with Kenneth Branagh and an actress whose name I can't recall pretending to be Boris and Carrie. I think I'd rather read or watch a proper documentary. What happened is too awful, you couldn't and shouldn't make it up. I've abandoned it.

The Coming Storm: "QAnon and the plot to break reality." A journey into the dark undergrowth of modern America. (I'm hoping series 2 will be A journey into the dark undergrowth of modern Britain)

Have a lovely week people.