New Book: Here's the Key to Happiness from the World's Longest Study on It!

I’m delighted to share insights and research findings from Robert Waldinger, MD and Marc Shulz, PhD , the current directors of the world’s longest scientific study of happiness and the authors of the new book, just out this month, entitled, The Good Life.

?In it, you’ll read about the surprising range of results gathered from the 85-year-old Harvard study which has now followed over 2,000 people for most of their lives.

?“It’s a study focused on the experience of life. We watch lives unfold.?We are trying to capture the lived experience,” explains Marc. “It started with two very different groups of boys. Two-thirds of the original sample were poor, inner-city kids living in some of the most disadvantaged neighborhoods of Boston. And the remaining sample was from Harvard University, so they had a very different perch in life at that point.”

?Researchers conducted interviews, provided extensive questionnaires, conducted visits to the homes of the subjects and subsequently of those of their families, children and grandchildren and have more recently video recorded participants interacting with their partners and family members.?They watch without interfering and observe how participants’ lives move and change.?For instance, some of the original subjects from Harvard didn’t have lives that panned out the way they thought they would, while others from humble beginnings became quite successful financially.

?But, and here’s one of the book’s main takeaways, both directors agree that after a certain point, money matters little in terms of happiness. The 724 original subjects and their descendants demonstrate that real happiness stems from your ?connections with others.

?I think we can agree with Robert and Marc that our human connections matter a lot. But most of all??How did the researchers gauge which people were happier than others??When talking about happiness and well-being, couldn’t the participants just say what they thought was expected yet feel differently inside? ??

?“We tried to come at it with all different measures,” Robert counters.

“We ask them over and over again how satisfied they are with their careers, and we ask their families and others how happy the subjects seem.?We bring them into our lab and stress them out and see watch how quickly they recover from stress.”

?If you’re wondering what the stress tests are, as I was, one of them involves researchers telling participants they must deliver a five-minute speech to a group of judges and have only five minutes to prepare. So, once again, dear readers, in case you thought it was just you, there truly is a fear of public speaking or Harvard researchers wouldn’t be using it as one of their people laboratory stress-inducers.

?“The folks that have stronger connections to others, who grew up in circumstances in which they received more love and the benefits of a good childhood experience, those are the folks who are able to recover more quickly,” reveals Marc. “We see their bodies soothe more quickly and they see a silver lining in that stress test as well.”

Now that we more fully understand human connections are essential to our well-being, what can we do about it?

1)????Don’t always trust your instinct

?“As much as we would like to think of ourselves as rational creatures, turns out we’re not good at figuring out what is good for us,” Marc explains. “Most people, for example, when they’re commuting on a train to work, they’ll say that the ideal environment is, ‘One in which I have my headphones on, I’m not paying attention to other people and I’m just chilling.’ But it turns out, if you were in an experiment, and you were forced to talk to a stranger, you’ll feel happier than if you just sat there on a train by yourself.”

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2)????Experiment to better understand yourself

Those who went out and took a risk to commit to being with others will benefit in their lives, the researchers say. ?But, they also say, ?that doesn’t work all the time for all the people.

Robert cautions, “There are some people who are shy and more introverted. They don’t need a lot of people in their lives. But everybody needs some connections.?It’s up to you to decide what works for you.”

?So, sometimes we’re not always right about what we think is best for us, but with trial and error, we can develop ourselves to get outside of our self-constructed personality box.

?A self-identified “shy” client of mine just shared how surprised she was, for instance, that when she reached beyond her comfort zone to invite a colleague for coffee, that not only did the colleague accept, but my colleague actually enjoyed and felt enriched by the experience.

?Why not, try your own experiment and strive to make or nurture a more meaningful relationship this week? I’m convinced everyone could benefit from the lessons included in this book.?Even the royal family.

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With corporate clients in five continents, Gina London is a premier communications strategy, structure and delivery expert. She is also a media analyst, author, speaker and former CNN anchor. @TheGinaLondon