It is Never Too Late to Change the Way You Think

When I was born in 1969, Spain was under Franco′s dictatorship. My father was a policeman. Unlike his brothers, who worked in the fields in their tiny native village, my father decided to join the police academy and moved to the big city with my mother. Spain’s transition from dictatorship to democracy was peaceful, smooth, and successful. Franco died in 1975 and, from that moment on, Spain started its journey to become the modern nation that it is today.

My generation had the privilege of experiencing that transition. I literally witnessed the change from black and white Spain to color in Spain. And I say literally because my parents bought a color tv in 1982; until then, everything was in black and white.

That gives you an idea of the socio-political environment of my childhood. Obviously, children do not have an ideology, so I believed Franco was great as that was the only thing I heard in my house when I was growing up. The socialists, “los rojos (the red ones),” were the bad ones. Like many other people in Spain, my father still thinks that Franco did wonderful things for the country. The photo that illustrates this article was taken this summer when I visited my father, now 91 years old. He has pictures of all his grandchildren but, if you look closely, you will also see a person dressed in military uniform –?and yes, it is Franco, the dictator.

Once I started to live by myself while studying journalism in college, I began to think about my own ideology. Over the years, I became more and more liberal. However, I found myself constantly running away from that way of thinking in the belief that, no matter what, nothing should change. But now, at 52, I realize that it is never too late to change the way you think.

Let me give you an example. While I have always been very open-minded and respectful of people’s sexual orientation, I never liked when I met somebody, and they immediately let me know that they are gay or lesbian. It was irrelevant to me and, until recently, I thought I did not need to know that during our first conversation. When I meet someone, I like them because of their personality. I do not pay attention to their sexual orientation.

A year ago, I realized that I was wrong. I came to this conclusion when, in our first conversation, a woman told me about her summer vacation and said: “I went to Scotland with my partner, who is a woman.” I immediately thought, “Here we go again. I do not care if you are lesbian or not.”

But thinking about it later, I realized that possibly people feel the need to say it because they grew up not being able to express themselves. This woman was around my age, so I suppose that she probably struggled with this issue in the past. I think it is wonderful that anyone can talk freely about their sexual orientation without feeling intimidated by society. Unfortunately, there are still countries in the world where people cannot express their sexuality.

I once read that where there are four Spaniards, you will find five opinions. It is true, we have an opinion about anything, but you can probably also apply this to other cultures. Unfortunately, it often does not matter if you have all the facts or not. In Spain, for example, we have a love/hate relationship with the United States. You will find people who always criticize the US but at the same time wear Levi’s jeans and Nike shoes, use an iPhone, etc. During a conversation with a person in Spain who knew I had been living in the US, she asked, “How could you live there?” After saying that I loved the experience, I asked where in the US she had lived and discovered she never lived there. This is just one example of how any of us can go through life carrying opinions based on misinformation or wrong ideas that we have created in our own head.

Sometimes, we are opposed to something only because things have always been done in a certain way. Since the beginning of time, society has always been afraid of change and insists that changes need to be made slowly. Now, the world is so interconnected that changes happen quickly, and in democratic societies, there is no way to stop them.

So, the point I am trying to make with this article is that it’s okay to change the way you think. It is okay to admit that sometimes we are wrong, and it is never too late to see an aspect of life differently. This is a skill that can only be developed and achieved by having conversations with people who do not think like us and by reading or listening to media that sets out a different view of the world than ours. I am convinced the world would be a better place if we could only put ourselves in other peoples’ shoes.

(This article was published in the January 2022 issue of?FOCUS Magazine)