Never meet your "hero" ...

Is there someone you idolize or someone you look up to?

There's a saying about heroes. Never meet your heroes, they'll sure to disappoint you.

Fortunately and unfortunately, I met, work and lived with a few. At that time, I would name them as my "Heroes". However, the pleasant memories were very short-lived.

Counting down from 3.

3?? A teacher, mentor and also a friend. Taught me much about becoming a professional speaker. Gave me opportunity to speak to a crowd of thousands before I thought I was ready.

I was excited when offered a chance to venture in business with him. That's where our relationship turned sour. We operated at different levels of thoughts and I was coming from corporate background, so jumping into doing global business without a solid plan felt like suicidal move to me.

He asked me to put everything else aside and hop onto the bandwagon with him following Nike's slogan "Just do it." I couldn't and I hesitated. I still had obligations and responsibilities with my team, customers and family. So, I told him I needed more time to plan things out and I passed on the offer.

After his text (refer to picture) and more, I felt crushed and disapppointed. That was the end of our relationship.

2?? A family friend, a nice "uncle". I was feeling lost during high school, and at 15, I thought of quitting school. He offered to help me gain some life and social experience so that I can better make decision about studies. He gave me a job as his shop assistant selling outdoor equipment and told me he will teach me (OJT) all I need to know.

However, on my first day of work I was toss a guidebook and asked to read up about the ropes. I learned through reading how to tie a figure 8 knot. A week later, I was to sort the inventory in the warehouse. And thereafter was asked to paint the warehouse. I was quite the handyman, haha!

Not knowing labor's worth, I thought $10/day was a good pay only to realize that my meals and commuting fees are self-paid. Everyday I only brought back $1 for 10 hours worth of work. I kept to myself but after a month, I couldn't take it. That was the end of our relationship too.

1?? He co-brought me to this world. He was suppose to be my life long hero, buddy and guardian. He was my father. This is the most painful story.

I can't describe in words how it feels like when your closest betrays you. I would have never thought I'd be made as a human punching bag by my own dad. If you know how Asian parents used to "discipline" their children, just replace what you think would be in their hands, with anything in the household that's bigger than a mug.

The last straw for me was coming back home after a tired day at school only to find out that my hard-earned life savings in my "piggy bank" turned into charcoal and rocks. I put $1 and 50 cents coin into the Milo tin (aka my coin box) everyday and for many years, so I'm familiar with sound of coin drop. Lifted the tin and I shook it. Felt like the same weight but it sounded different. That's where I opened only to find the biggest surprise of my life. I was still very naive thinking that coins left too long in a tin, might have rotten into black stuff.

Betrayed, heart-broken, disappointed, ashamed, insecured.

If you were me, what would you have done? How would your life turned out instead?

The reason I share these stories with you is because there's a painful lesson in there which I hope will benefit you.

These 3 "heroes" appearance in my life were both an experience and a teaching to me. I've my other mentors and coaches to help me realize this.

?? Lesson #1: Heroes are only humans afterall. They have their own values and views of the world. What they do or say, doesn't reflect you. If you think it works for you, go for it. If not, you don't have to feel bad for saying no.

?? Lesson #2: We have our expectations of "heroes" and there's also the reality of who they are. When reality fails to meet our expectations, that's where we feel bad/terrible. It's better to manage our expectations if we can't change reality.

?? Lesson #3: Trust is like a glass cup. Once broken, it's never the same. You can forge the glass cup again, but it's just not the same. Good news is you have as many glass cups as you can think of. Be selective of who you want to share it with. Give but protect it too. Because it's yours.

?? Lesson #4: We have a choice. Either fall/get struck down and stay down, or rise and rebound. Whatever experience I went through could be an excuse to run away, stay negative or it could be a reason to be and do better. Saying no choice or doing nothing is also a choice.

Although I've been hurt many times emotionally and physically, I still choose to feel as good as possible. I choose to love, respect and accept myself. I give my the permission to feel the same way about other people. And I choose to find reasons to feel good and be helpful to others.

No matter how many out there who might "hurt" you, what matters most is you don't hurt yourself. Mariah Carey sings "... a hero lies in you." Those words gave me the strength to carry on.

You're the Hero that you're waiting or looking for. Work and grow along yourself. You have the power to make yourself and others great.

If you think this story might help someone, feel free to share it with them.

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