Never let it define you. Let it be a defining moment.

January 19, 2005. It was my birthday and I was going home. It was an emotional day. I had come a long way. Met a lot of wonderful people who inspired me daily and pushed me to my limit. I had done a lot of soul-searching and hard work over the last several weeks.

No, I wasn't wrapping up a motivational seminar or inspirational retreat. Far from it. Two months earlier I was stripped of something that I had taken for granted my whole life - my health, my freedom to move and do as I wanted. I was sitting in a wheelchair, waiting to be discharged from the physical therapy facility that was my home for the last six weeks. It's where I spent Christmas day with my physical therapist learning to dress myself. That simply everyday task, took me three hours that day.

"Stop thinking from a place of pain. Stop thinking from a place what happened to you... and start thinking from a place of who you were created to be."

- Bishop TD Jakes,  Oprah's Super Soul Conversations

We all know people who are going through some really crappy shit right now: illness, death, divorce, addiction, isolation. Who comes to mind?

Sixteen years ago I went thru one of those life-altering events. Guillain-Barré took me from an on-the-run mom and business owner to a virtual quadriplegic over the course of 5 days. Could not feel my legs, lost 90% of my arm movement, and had a ventilator sitting by my ICU bed in the event I could no longer breathe on my own. That illness turned my world - and my family’s world - upside down. It shook me to my core. It left me feeling vulnerable and fearful for years to come.

I get it. This "thing" you are dealing with consumes every waking moment, every part of your life. Does it feel like you have a sign hanging over your head that broadcasts your fear/lack/trauma? And that is all people see? Hell, it's all YOU can see. The fear and anxiety do their best to isolate you. This life event begins to envelop you, define you. 

Has that ever happened to you? Are you there right now? 

A few days before Thanksgiving 2004 and into the early part of 2005, I was neck-deep in it. Although the Guillain-Barré ran its course over 8 weeks, my victim mindset took up residency in my head for nearly 10 years. 

What I didn't realize is that I would lead nearly every social interaction with my illness. Someone would say, "Hi, how are you?" and I’d respond, "Well, I had an auto-immune syndrome that stripped me of my ability to walk, write my name, dress myself, feed myself, had to learn to walk again, still recovering, still battling fatigue, yada, yada...." I kid you not. Needless to say, those were short-lived exchanges. The impression I gave people to remember me by was my illness, not my creativity or passion for helping others.

A friend finally sat me down and showed me what I was doing. That I was letting that health event define me and that is not who I was or whom I was meant to be. As hard as it was to hear, I truly appreciated that conversation. 

But instead of releasing the past, I went to the other end of the spectrum. Not only did I stop leading the conversation with the health crisis that had pulled the rug of confidence out from under me, I shut it away; even when sharing it could have been helpful to someone. It became a Scarlet Letter (remember the book) that I gave myself. Only no one could see it. Only me. I was still letting it define me. 

It wasn't until a mastermind retreat in 2016 that I finally gained clarity. As we worked on doing exercises about our story, our why, the facilitator had us write down all our major life events to look for the trigger that had put us on this path to entrepreneurship and being in the room that day. "Those events are defining moments," he said, "and give us our uniqueness." The light bulb went on.

It doesn’t define you. It’s a defining moment.

This bad hand you were dealt, yes, it sucks. It's not fair and it’s okay to be angry. But IT IS LIFE and as overwhelming as it feels right now, it is just a part of your bigger journey. This one event alone does not define you. What defines you is the mindset you choose and the actions you take in spite of the pain, tears, struggle, depression and the unknown.

Sometimes the worst events can actually be gifts. Life-transforming gifts. 

"Step out of your past and into your destiny."

- Bishop TD Jakes

For me, it was the moment that I swore I would never feel that helpless again. I would never be paralyzed literally or figuratively ever again. The insecurities that my illness unleashed held me back for years. It’s only recently that I have really been able to acknowledge them and turn those fears into fuel for my purpose some 16 years later.

So whatever you are facing right now, stare it down, acknowledge it, then release it. Let it and the world know the only thing that will define who you are is YOU. 

If this resonated with you, share this with someone you know who needs to hear that you see a much brighter light in them than they can see themselves right now. They need to hear it. They need someone who cares enough to sit them down and tell them, "this right now is temporary. It does not define you. It's a defining moment."

BE well.

- L

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Lori Blatt is a Serial Creative, Marketing Maven, Branding Intuitive, Content Creator, 17-year WFH Warrior, Resister of the Oxford Comma, Tiny House Enthusiast, BE Well Advocate, Reiki Practitioner, Dog Lover and Old Soul (the order varies daily) helping business owners to SHOW UP, BE SEEN and become better at marketing themselves.