Never knowingly under Bold

Recent post, ‘A Strong Network Is Inefficient’, evoked an astute response from Lynda McDonald “End of year is always a natural reflection point and I like this way of framing your intentions going into 2023: not focused on the highly judgemental “where do I need to improve”, rather “where do I focus to add value”. The start / stop / continue question is a kinder one, but no less effective.”

This made me stop and think. The corporate business environment is a fiercely competitive one, it almost forces us to compete against fellow employees, yet…there is only one person you are actually competing with: yourself, or more accurately, the version of you yesterday.

At the heart of our workday's are small decisions that add up. I have observed that it is human nature to be decisive when delivering good news, an award or reward. But there is almost an allergic reaction when faced with making difficult decisions. When faced with having to exit an employee, negotiate, or deliver a tough message, it is a very skilful balance to strike between psychological safety and candour.

The truth is:

·???????Few people really like conflict,

·???????Few people really like having difficult conversations,

·???????Few people like delivering bad news…

Over the last decade one of the most consistent questions, I am asked at vital points during a coaching interaction is:

How do I influence this stakeholder who is from a different culture, has a different personality or different value set to me?

My observation is that there is a scale of cultures where on one extreme are those that are very task led and, on the other, very relationship before task and in the middle a blended mix.

I recently heard of a wonderful analogy to help solve this challenge:

‘Peaches and Coconuts’.

For task focussed cultures think of the interactions like peaches - easy to break into yet at some point you will hit the hard stone and never get to know that person deeply. An alternative way of looking at this is ‘an interaction for a reason’.

On the relationship preceding task side, view it like a coconut, hard to break into yet when trust built and maintained you get to know that person deeply all the way through.

'An interaction for a season' or in optimal cases many seasons.

Having served my business relationship apprenticeship, in a very time conscious company where all hours and minutes deeply mattered. The prevailing wisdom was to have short meetings with a client. Have a surface level and obvious points of rapport, but get down to business quickly then move onto next one and next one...

Yet when I observe the largest contract sizes and deepest relationships, consistently the conversations are about family, shared connections, shared values and then move to mutual interest and business next steps.

Often these interactions are over a shared food experience. (This image is of where one such enjoyable lunch happened.)

My mission is to work with leaders who care about others and want to self-actualise – to be bold. This enables me to fulfil my life purpose with those who want to make a significant impact on the world.

Key to achieving this is a bold mindset, to embrace and believe all people are resourceful and whole. To recognize everyone needs a good listening to. As I sunset 2022 I am challenging myself to be become a more courageous coaching partner, to remain curious rather than judgemental.?

What would be a bold step for you?

Viktor Frankl, the writer, neurologist, psychologist, and Holocaust survivor says:

“Between stimulus and response there is a space.?In that space is our power to choose our

response.?In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

My recommendation this week is to create the space to grow and have the freedom to make better decisions. On a practical level, that means not moving from meeting-to-meeting. Rather than schedule an hour call followed by another, organise each call for 50 or 55 mins and then pause and reflect for 3 minutes. Ask yourself: ?

·???????What happened??

·???????So what??

·???????What do I do next??

This short, simple process is powerful. I have committed to undertake reflective practice after each meeting or call. It brings perspective to my decisive moments and helps me realise that rushing into decisions may bring significant opportunity cost.

My challenge to you this week, is to create 3 minutes between meetings for short self-reflection to make better decisions.

Our purpose at Accelerated Career Results is to transform Payments leaders’ mindsets, confidence, and results; for them to achieve their potential through the power of life-enhancing connections, shared experiences, and collaborative learning.

We achieve this by unlocking the ‘latent ability’ within talented individuals and teams. If you have found this article valuable, please like, re-share and pass it on to a colleague or to your trusted network whom it could help at this stage of their leadership career.

Welcome to the Payments Leaders, show, where I have a fireside chat with handpicked leaders from the Payments industry. They share how they lead their people, how they create a winning and human-centered culture, and why they embrace the opportunities before they meet the challenges.