Never Have I Ever

There is a lot I have done. Some things I would never do. I have never seen any iteration of The Mummy. Enjoying Universal monster movies one would think I would have seen one at some point. So far I haven't.

That won't be mentioned in my New York Times obituary. A lot of people brag they never watched Game of Thrones or Throwing Up With the Kardashians. I never watched The Pro Bowl. Don't worry, no one else has, either.

I have never paid a baggage fee. American raised baggage fees and United and Delta followed suit. Remember when airlines operated at a loss and filed bankruptcy every so often? Baggage fees equal profits.

If you keep your bag under fifty pounds and have elite status you should not worry about baggage fees. They seem to affect infrequent fliers. Put everything you are going to pack on the bed. Now take half of that and put it your suitcase.

It is frustrating to carry clothes you don't wear. Sweaters can be worn every other day on a trip. I manage to fit everything in a carryon bag. That speeds the process of arrival.

Some things I have never done and might want to. I still haven't visited Italy. It's there. Maybe I should go before Venice institutes a cover charge. It doesn't matter that I have never watched The Bachelor or any of its iterations.

Does that lead to solid marriages? Do they even get married? It doesn't matter. After I was lambasted for not showing interest in a football player dating a pop singer- concern yourself with relationships in your actual life. Those will benefit you more than any given celebrity falling in and out of relationships.

I have never held a consistent relationship and a consistent job at the same time. Work takes so much out of me that I barely look and when I feel better about myself, no one is available or interested. It figures. Is this where married women say "You'll find someone?" Married men never say that. They also never suggest I "Join the club."

Not the inclusion I am interested in seeking. You don't have to be in a relationship. Nice work if you can get it. I don't have enough nice conversations that could lead somewhere. Anyone can have a nice exchange in the moment.

Lead your best life. I have paid Destination Fees a.k.a. Sucker Fees. There was a conference at a specific hotel and they charged fees. At least I used the swimming pool and hot tub every morning. None of the other conference goers did.

Some I see every year- I was not trying to get them into swimwear. It gave me the opportunity to see other guests who started their day with a swim. You have to do something while staying in Utah when you don't ski.

I never did that either. I have never surfed. That seems like a greater possibility. It is interesting. I have used a Boogie Board. That is fun. You don't stand on it and in turn wipe out.

I was taken roller skating once. It was in sixth grade and I did not fall. There was a section in the middle where I hesitantly rode and no one thought less of me. It was a good Sunday. Avoid excessive fees whenever possible and spend your money on something memorable and worthwhile.