It never was about the game. Reflections on Father's Day

I coached youth soccer for many years and there are few things I enjoyed more. There were a few of us that formed a youth competitive club Azul FC and within a couple of years and some notable success we had an offer to merge with Samba FC. We had a great run and some real highs and some soul crushing lows. I learned all the ups and downs of competitive sports and worked hard to become a good enough coach not to cost my boys a win for lack of having them prepared.

My preseason ritual was always the same; get the parents assembled while the kids were busy and spend an hour on them. Just the parents. My talk was about being intentional, about the joy of the moment, and about the unintentional cost of sporting life. You have heard all the negative stories about parent anger, about unsportsmanlike behavior on the sidelines. About people shouting at their kids. For the most part this was not my experience.?

You see, these boys will not remember much about their childhood, but they will remember every single reaction you have as a parent. It can define you. And them.

My speech was always something like this…

As parents you have a covenant. You have entire chapters of the Bible dedicated to defining your role, your obligations, and your relationships.? You have promises given by God and a moral and spiritual obligation that endures forever.?

I have a whistle.

Yet these boys will elevate me as an authority in their lives. I will teach them but most of all I will push them beyond what they currently understand their limits to be. Because I push them, because I expect a great deal of them, they will elevate me as an authority in their lives.

But I am not. I am a guy who teaches them a game. A game that seems so important in the moment but is quickly forgotten. I have a whistle and get them for an hour here and there. You have a covenant and you have them for eternity.

It has always been interesting to me that when God revealed himself to humanity he revealed himself as a father. That relationship was how God revealed the mystery of who he is and how he wants us to be related to him. Some of the most heartbreaking stories in the Bible reveal the heartbreak of a rebellious son from the eyes of a father or to suffer the loss of a child through the eyes of a father.

Of all the roles I fulfill in my life, father is elevated above them all. It is my highest obligation and the highest standard to which I will be held accountable.? I always felt that if, at the end of this life, I am a mediocre professional, brother, athlete, whatever…you will all forgive me if I am a great father. My 3 boys in so many ways are my gift of gratitude to the world. They are my legacy, they are my pay it forward. I am grateful for this life and honored to God that he saw fit to let me live it. So I have worked hard to be the father I aspired to be in the hope that they will do the same.

So for all the father’s who aspire to raise great kids, to eschew fame or success in preference to their kids' future, my hat is off to you. You toil in silence and while yesterday was a day set aside to celebrate you, in all likelihood you shrugged it off and put the focus on other people and other things as is now your nature.

My hat is off to you. As you work in unrecognized silence I know that someday if the world does not thank you, they should.?

Those soccer days passed too quickly. The medals and the trophies don’t mean much to me anymore, but the memories are mine and those I get to take with me.