Never Doubt

“When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt” -Author Unknown

I am an alum of the University of Dayton. Ten years ago, the basketball team made it to the “elite 8” in the NCAA basketball tournament. Since it had not happened for thirty years, I wanted a T-shirt to mark the occasion. When I went to the UD website to order a shirt, I noticed that they were using the language “never doubt” on the shirt. I loved the sentiment and began to think about how it fits with coaching practice. Take a moment to reflect on all the times we doubt whether we can really achieve our dreams and how those little doubts creep in to destroy momentum and even enthusiasm for our dreams.

Self-doubt is a state of uncertainty about one's abilities, decisions, or worth. It involves a lack of confidence in oneself and can manifest as feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, and hesitation. Self-doubt can arise from past experiences, external criticism, or internal negative thinking patterns, and it often leads to hesitation in taking action or pursuing goals. While some degree of self-doubt is normal and can motivate self-improvement, excessive self-doubt can hinder personal and professional growth, leading to missed opportunities and a diminished sense of self-worth.

How can we keep these doubts from creeping in? Jack Canfield in “Principles of Success, ”? provides several ideas for continuing to move towards success despite obstacles. First, he advises that we need to drop out of the “ain’t it awful” club and surround ourselves with positive people. Simply removing negative people from your sphere of influence and instead choosing to associate with positive ones, increases your odds of succeeding exponentially. Tapping that source of positivity can help you overcome your own self-doubts. Canfield also advises the acknowledgement of positive pasts. Often when coaching clients, I ask them to go back to a place in time when they were successful doing what they are trying to do now. We all have experiences where we overcame odds to achievement of goals. Just knowing that we have done this once allows us to believe in that possibility again.

Who has access to your energy? Removing dissenters and negative people from your immediate sphere of influence by engaging personal champions as part of your change team can eliminate a source of self-doubt. A step in the process of change which can be found in “Changeology” by John Norcross is to build a change team or a personal board of directors.? Often, we think that we must go it alone and yet creating support and accountability partners can accelerate achievement of goals. Talk to friends, family, or a mentor who can provide encouragement and offer a different perspective. Sometimes an outside view can help you see things more clearly. Do not forget that a personal coach could also be part of your change team or board.

Increasing your positivity ratio-the number of positive thoughts to negative thoughts can also help you fight the “doubt monsters.’? Barbara Fredrickson in “Positivity” shares that for successful teams the number of positive to negative statements made to one another must be at least three positives to one negative for successful teams.? For ideal working relationships the number is six positives to one negative. You might want to check out Barbara’s self test at her website to see where you are with regards to your own positivity. Chip Conley, in “Emotional Equations” adds that when we divide the number of positive interactions/events by the frequency of negative interactions/events, we can actually compute a number that allows for thriving.? You are now in the sweet spot of unlimited potential for success.

Next, set realistic goals. Break down goals into smaller, manageable steps. This makes them feel more achievable and less overwhelming, boosting confidence as steps are accomplished. Ask yourself if you have your eye on the prize or are you allowing doubt to creep in? Canfield’s work suggests that we use the last 45 minutes of the day to review goals, celebrate successes and make specific plans for the next day. Why do this at the end of the day? While you are sleeping your brain continues to work with your unconscious mind processing this input. Your mind is actually being programmed for success and achievement while you sleep!

Shawn Achor in “Before Happiness” advises measuring progress frequently to leverage the “escalation of commitment”.? This is done by looking back at how far an individual has come and by remembering how much time and effort has already been invested towards the achievement of the goal. When people do this, they often find that they do not want to give up the gains and can find the energy to continue. Gay Hendricks in “The Genius Zone” supports this concept and adds that we need to recommit to our goals on a daily basis.

When doubts creep in, focus on transcending limiting beliefs. If you find yourself saying something like “I’ll never make it to the finish line,” check in with your beliefs. Asking yourself how that belief serves you can help turn it around. We can leverage expectancy theory to work for us instead of against us. By just believing that something is possible, we can make it happen. Next time you feel stuck, think about how you might change your beliefs so that they move you forward instead of planting seeds of doubt that create anchors.

A few other strategies for releasing self-doubt include:

Identify the Source. Understand where your self-doubt is coming from. Self-doubt can stem from a variety of sources, both internal and external. Understanding its origins can help in addressing and overcoming it. Common sources of self-doubt include past experiences, social influences, perfectionism, imposter syndrome, and cognitive distortions.

Challenge Negative Thoughts. Recognize and challenge negative thoughts. Often, self-doubt is fueled by irrational and unfounded beliefs. Carol S. Dweck's work, particularly her concept of "mindset," provides valuable guidance for challenging negative thoughts and can be found in her book titled “Mindsets.” ?The author shares a number of ways to challenge negative thinking including recognition of fixed mindset triggers, reframing the situation with a growth mindset perspective, embracing the challenge, and focusing on effort not just outcomes.

Practice Self-Compassion. Be kind to yourself. Understand that everyone makes mistakes and has moments of doubt. Practicing self-compassion is an effective way to manage and alleviate self-doubt. It involves treating yourself with the same kindness, understanding, and support that you would offer a good friend. Do not forget to take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being through activities that nourish and rejuvenate you as an act of self-compassion.

Overcoming self-doubt is a journey that requires patience, persistence, and a compassionate approach toward oneself. By recognizing the sources of your self-doubt, challenging negative thoughts, and embracing the principles of a growth mindset, you can gradually build confidence and resilience. Remember that self-doubt is a common human experience, and treating yourself with kindness and understanding is crucial in navigating through it. With each step you take towards self-compassion and positive thinking, you will find yourself better equipped to face challenges and achieve your goals. Embrace your imperfections, celebrate your progress, and continue to believe in your capacity for growth and improvement.