Never change your originality for others

Sometimes it happens in life that your originality is challenged. But what I think it is better to be yourself no matter what others say to or force to become....Because at the end of the day only you will be able to realize that whether are you satisfied for doing what your conscience said or what the influencers said....And others will be happy only for two or three days but that one mistake will scorch you your whole life....And that's not the case in choosing what you like.... And making others sad for three days.

We think we were all created for human interaction but when you can’t function without certain people than that can be a problem. Wanting to be with people is okay and some of us require more time with others but the word need takes on a whole new meaning. When we say need it almost seems like you can’t live without it. I mean if you were put in solitary confinement I would say yes of course we all need some human contact but to always need others to make you happy is really very short lived.

Nobody can really make you truly happy other than yourself because your self worth cannot hinge on anyone but you. It all sounds good but we many times look to others to validate us and make us feel valuable which in turn makes us feel wanted and happy. The problem with this is people and circumstances change constantly so your happiness will just be along for the ride. What I mean is if you have an disagreement or something goes wrong in a relationship their goes your happiness out the window.

When we are already happy with ourselves these shifts do not totally destroy us. They may bother us or get us upset but we will still have our base foundation to lean upon. Faith also plays a part in this because when you can look to something other than of this world and know in your heart that God loves you no matter what that keeps you grounded and at peace.

You feel not happy whenever people wanted to make you happy, especially when those people think that they are responsible in making you happy. I experienced it before and I am still experiencing. My life hasn’t been good for the past few years and I would describe it as roller coaster. My mood swings like a roller coaster too and it makes people around me worry. They worry because they love me. But being a stubborn and a strong character, I do not enjoy sympathy. I do not enjoy any show of love when I am weak. If you are like me, then I have a solution for you.

We can’t control what people do. Unless you want to hurt them by not appreciating them but chasing them away by condemning them or scolding them. We must understand and accept that their course of concern was love, why not embrace it and make it a motivation? When someone is depressed, that person would think negatively and I suspect you could be depressed. I was depressed and even now, I still depress occasionally. It is not helpful to be depressed. Please don’t drown yourself further. Nothing will last forever, that’s the certain truth in life. Help yourself by shortening your low in life and embrace your bright future, by embracing the positive vibe sent by you from your loved one.

Please try mindfulness meditation. It is a type of meditation practiced by Theravada Buddhism and it allows you to live in present, without feeling sad about your past and worry about your future. It's all about finding whatever makes you feel your best when discovering how much you enjoy being involved in this activity. Even more so when you are able to find out that you can turn what you love doing into a career. The point is,without having your own interests,like and or hobbies you will find you will find yourself extremely needy of others in search of a false happiness. A false happiness will wear and tear on those around you.

Sometimes it is better to bee selfish. It is alright to be selfish because being selfish means that you are thinking about things you want to do, not what others want to do. If you stop trying to please people, then what you want and what you do will make you happy. I tried on my own to be happy alone but no way. i need a partner that can help guide me, give me strength when I don't have enough, gives me motivation when I cant seem to find any. to help get me back on track with my health.

By realising every one have same issues. Like privacy, have their own ideas, dreams, goals in their lives. How we think about our life, they too think about their lives. How we have some priorities in life they too have. If we understand this and respect others, we can remain happy and let others be happy too. Problem comes when we think one ideology, one thought, one idea will be suitable for every one and every life. Especially in modern life this is creating a lot of unrest. You live your life, at the same time, don't get irked about my style of living. Let us not heckle each other. It's ok if we don't like each other's style of living for good or bad. We need not hate each other for that. Insult or hurt or belittle each other for our choices.. however small or big they are.

Especially children should realise their parents also have their own dreams. They might have sacrificed or compromised those for their children's sake. (I am not talking about exceptions. Talking about general parents.) If you can, encourage them to fulfill those. Otherwise maintain dignity. Never make them feel their dreams are foolish or stupid. The other day, ‘Aunty! Tell your friend it's waste to invest money on that diamond necklace by spending 11 lakhs. Aaruni said. I looked at her mom while sipping my lemon juice. Sita just ignored both of us by shrugging.( Names are changed obviously) Aunty! Is it not wise to invest in gold bonds? Where she would wear such an expensive necklace? How to carry it safely to wear in out of station , and relatives functions? It's a dead investment. She is not listening. I am not going to wear it after that! She can buy a simple one if she wants. Not that big one with huge money on one ornament.

Sita retired last year from BSNL. I know her for many years. She is from below middle class family. Her husband works in LIC. He too retired. Two children they have. Both are doing jobs. Somehow they settled now. She planned well and secured her old age finances. Now searching alliances for children. It's Sita's dream to wear diamond necklace from her young age. For past many years she has been accumulating money I know. Always she is short of money to reach her dream because of kids, their educational and other expenses. She never liked to take loan for it. It's her dream project. Aaruni said, at least she can buy with half money and half she can invest in other things na aunty!

Ok. We will discuss that matter leisurely. Aaruni! What about your 4000 Sq ft plot buying dream? How far you reached? ‘You must be joking aunty! This is Bangalore! I just joined job. Not even three years completed. But, definitely one day I would buy! It's my dream project! I want to have my spacious independent house with private garden in a gated community. I don't mind even it is far from city. I hate living in the flats.what to do? these are nearer to our working place. All amenities are near by. So it's going on. Now I can't afford! ‘How come you here today? You live near to your office na? I asked.

‘Yes aunty! Your friend called me here. She looked at her mother with a smile. Mom wants my help to buy that necklace. I felt it's wrong investment. That's why I called you. Why to block her money in such a thing? It's a huge amount. Isn't it? But she is adamant. Not listening to me. Not even ready to discuss! Ok. Aaruni! If you buy plot very far to the city, what's the point? You can't stay there. Again you have to come back to city. Tomorrow your husband and kids may opt to live in city. You need conveyance to go to schools and offices. Why can't you think of taking spacious good flat or duplex flat?

No! Aunty! No compromise in my dream project. First I would buy. In case if it's not at all viable I would sell then. At least I would be happy I fulfilled my dream. ‘Sita! I am hungry. Feed me some thing yaar! I said. Sita said ‘ok! I will make poha. wait’! She went in to kitchen. ‘ Can't Sita think like you Aaruni ? I know how crazy she is about that necklace.when I gifted her in artificial and told her to wear for the time being, she refused to wear and gave back. Said ‘one day I would wear the original one that too only mine'. She froze that design also in her mind. Accumulated money for all these years. From her retirement funds if she wants to fulfill her dream why you are interfering? She is not asking you money to buy.

I know as an investment if you see, it may not be the best idea but definitely not a bad idea either. Let her wear it. When she doesn't feel to keep it anymore she would sell. When she gives you, then you think what to do. Why you are thinking about you wearing in future? Why you want to change her dreams suitable to you ? Parents should not have dreams? You only have rights to dream? From your age it's her dream to wear it. She has her own reasons. She could not buy till date. Now you are telling her how right or wrong her dream is. Is she escaping from her responsibilities? No. She secured and planned all her and her family's future.

Then What's the problem with you? You won't let others to advise about your life's goals. Not ready to change But you feel it's your fundamental right to interfere in your parents life. How? Why? Is it right? Aunty!.. what I mean is..Tell me! “Her hard earned cash. She is wasting I felt! Aaruni said in low voice. What right you have to decide that? It may be or may not be. She supported your dreams, your education, your ambitions, your goals so far. It's your turn now. Let her live her dream. She wants your moral support not money. She is also in oscillating mind. She may get convinced also if I talk but that desire of many years will be alive in her heart forever. Let her live her dream once. It was always out of her reach till date. Now she got that money. Let her fulfill her dream.

Go with her. Help her to buy. I can go with her but she will be more happy if her children support her in fulfilling her dream. Otherwise you tell me. I am there for her always. Aaruni nodded her head. I ate tasty poha and came back. After three months I received message from Sita. Her son and daughter took her to a famous diamond show room. Bought 15 lakhs worth diamond necklace. They both together added 4 lakhs to it. It's their contribution to their mothers dream. For 11 lakhs her dream design was not coming in her budget so children added money. They don't want their mother compromise her dream again.

Aaruni thanked me. She and her brother are very happy to see Sita's excitement. Sita cried with joy. Called me every one hour that day explaining her experience. Haha. I felt really really happy for her. Told her. ‘Start dreaming again. We are old not dead. How far we would fulfill them, time will tell. Need not be miser in dreaming something at least. She laughed loud! I got at least some hundred pics of her that day wearing that necklace in different poses. haha. Cheers!