Never bother what others say about you

Let us start with a story called "An Empty Boat" A monk decides to meditate alone, away from his monastery. He takes his boat out to the middle of the lake, moors it there, closes his eyes and begins his meditation. After a few hours of undisturbed silence, he suddenly feels the bump of another boat colliding with his own. With his eyes still closed, he senses his anger rising, and by the time he opens his eyes, he is ready to scream at the boatman who dared disturb his meditation.

But when he opens his eyes, he sees it’s an empty boat that had probably got untethered and floated to the middle of the lake. At that moment, the monk understood that the anger is within him; our minds merely needs the bump of an external object to provoke anger out of us. From then on, whenever he came across someone who irritated him or provoked him to anger, he reminded himself- “The other person is merely an empty boat. The anger is within me.”

You see, we treat our bodies as mere reflections of society. We change ourselves as per society standards. We dress in fashion, we buy latest mobiles, we listen to latest songs. But are we really that person when we are alone? That is a million dollar question! When you are self satisfied, at peace and calm, you hardly ever give a damn! Ever seen a drunkard act in accordance of the society? Walk, talk, act as normal people? Does he ever give a damn what others think of his appearance? No!

Well a counter to that is that the alcohol hinders his ability to do so! Exactly! He is in such a state - alcohol induced - that he is unable to care about the world! That is how we should live our lives - by not caring what the society will think about us! Think about it. Who is the society? It is the people around you. None of them matter to you. Its not your family or your close friends. Most of them dont even interact for more than 10 minutes max per day with you. Why do you mould your lifestyle based on their thoughts about you?

Always do what you think is best, live the way you wanna live! because those who matter - don't mind, and those who mind - don't really matter! Easier said than done haha! How do you begin? Its easy, lose yourself! Get self confident. Get some belief in yourself. Plan well ahead, think in all perspectives and angles - and take a balanced decision. Stick to your god dam decision. Dont freak out listening to others’ views, you thought it up, you are the one to blame if it fails, you are the one to profit if it works - they are just dogs barking at your car!

You will fail in the start! They will laugh. Don't give them the reaction they expect, it was your decision. Man up! Learn where you went wrong. Think better next time. But dont go back. Decide yourself and plan for your next move. This time you will win. Now you get your confidence back. Once you start scoring, you will be unstoppable! You can feel it in your guts that you have unlocked your true self. Now they come to you for advice! Game has just changed! And it didn't happen over night.

Get truck loads of self confidence. Plan well, take decisions accordingly. Stick to your decision, if you fail, don't lose hope, learn from your failures. Once you start winning, you will accumulate a lot of confidence in yourself. Once you are confident about yourself and your decisions - you won't give a damn to the world what they think of you. Hope you achieve this tranquility! Realizing that you’ll be okay despite any opinions others may have about you. The difference between arrogance and confidence is that a confident person is okay with what other people think, while an arrogant person doesn’t care.

What you can do more? Develop security in yourself. Know yourself and love yourself. Know that other people cannot determine your worth or decide where you stand for you.Identify why you are sensitive to the opinions of others. This will help you get to the root of the issue. Keep in mind that it may vary! I tend to care more about the opinions of people if I really value them morally. It is okay to be sensitive though, I do understand if you feel it’s come to a point where it’s disruptive.

When someone says something that hurts you, identify your feelings, and tell yourself that you are okay despite this person’s judgment. Accept constructive criticism. Yeah, it can make you feel insecure sometimes, but if it’s not cruel, and it focuses on scientific observations, it can only help. Be honest with yourself, and develop self-awareness.Things to keep in mind.This will be a process like anything. Some days you may feel more sensitive; personally, as a person who suffers from anxiety, when I feel more emotionally anxious, I tend to be more sensitive.Some days it is important though to feel hurt by things, it may actually help you work on your flaws. Cheers!