Never ask someone to do something you wouldn’t do yourself
If I asked a dozen people what they thought were the characteristics of a good leader, most likely there would be a lot of common attributes identified.
From this, I assume, we can all recognise a good leader and some of the characteristics we like about those good leaders - but what makes them a better leader than others?
Recently, I was lucky enough to attend leadership training. It reminded me that leadership is something we can learn, like riding a bike, but that the learning curve in leadership doesn’t stop.
If you ask any good leader if they think they know everything about being a leader, their answer would be no. We are all on the same journey, whether leading a department, business group, project team or the local bake sale.
I remember having a great leader in my first job as a Ranger in a National Park. One attribute I admired about their leadership style, was they pitched in and helped the team accomplish the task and never asked anyone to do something they would not do themselves.
Fast forward many decades, and I have been lucky enough to lead teams all over the world. I now work in a team delivering software using Lean and Agile approaches. ?My skill set as an environmental scientist/communicator; you may think would not be compatible with the role, but I particularly like the scrum master role in an Agile software development environment. Contrary to the “master” name, the role is to be a servant leader and help the team to work together efficiently to deliver products. I get to facilitate Agile ceremonies and help to clear blockers to allow the team to get on with delivering results.
We work as a team prioritising our backlog of tasks and list these from highest priority to lowest. Each morning, we do a stand-up, and individually self-select from the top of the backlog list (highest priority tasks) a job that is relevant to individual skill sets.
Each team member self -directs how to accomplish that task and escalates to me if there are any hindrances to progress. We use tools like ‘huddles’ to collaborate and solve issues. I conduct ‘retrospectives’ to help us reflect on how we are doing as a team and allow us to continue to improve our working environment.?We showcase our work to stakeholders, gain feedback and codevelop with our clients for major projects.
So even with a fundamentally different skill set, I’ve never asked someone to do something I wouldn’t do myself.
My Leadership Goal
My top four traits for being a good leader are:
Achieving competency in these traits, let alone mastery, is an ongoing journey. I have learnt that I will always be on this journey as I raise the bar higher for myself. I will continue to fail fast to learn fast, that is, try something new and learn from it whether it works or not and thus strive, fail, learn, and then strive again.
Genuine
Much has been written about being genuine or authentic, and at times, “being authentic” has been overused. This brief article from HBR Managing Authenticity: The Paradox of Great Leadership by Rob Goffee and Gareth Jones sums up being genuine nicely by positioning it as being genuine. In brief, they state that “Our growing dissatisfaction with sleek, ersatz, airbrushed leadership is what makes authenticity such a desirable quality in today’s corporations.”
Being genuine is fundamental to my leadership style. I describe being genuine as, ”you being you with others consistently.” This means sharing the good as well as the bad; every day cannot be “awesome.” At the same time, you need to be mindful of how your attitude, emotional state, and communication style affects those around you. They take their cues from you, and you have a responsibility to maintain balance, as you do in any relationship. If you fail to bear this in mind, you risk burdening your team with your issues.
The biggest challenge I see in being genuine, is for leaders that feel they are the face of the corporation and can’t show any weakness. My advice is to learn how to be more vulnerable and allow your genuine self to show. As I have moved from place to place, I consistently see teams rallying to authentic leaders in difficult situations, being more motivated and innovative than those teams being led by a manager who consistently shows a corporate face. There is a fantastic Ted Talk by Brené Brown on vulnerability that I encourage you to listen too.
As a leader, you must give your team and peers the space to be genuine with you. It is a two-way street. Anything less, and you fail to be genuine.
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Compassionate
A good leader exhibits compassion toward their team and organisation. Being compassionate is about self-awareness and listening. Compassion fosters a culture of openness and trust and enables you to listen better. All of us bring our values and emotions to work every day. When you go to work, if you try to turn these off, or assume that others turn these things off, then you have left compassion at the door.
Showing compassion for the organisation is hard. It requires you to think holistically about the business and the constraints that others face.
We all have varying goals, processes, and resource constraints we need to manage. Showing compassion for the organisation requires you to think about why things are happening from the perspective of the other person. This means you must take the time to walk in their shoes and learn about their roles, pressures and goals. Once you’ve been able to put yourself in their position, you can then reflect on how your own behaviour is affecting the situation.
I find that showing compassion for the organisation is one of the first traits to desert me when I am in highly stressful situations, and I see the same pattern in many other leaders. What to do? Taking a step back in these instances is difficult and requires great self-awareness.
I am working on my emotional maturity, staying above the line and improving my mindfulness. To take a breath, and simply slow down to be more present in these moments. I have also learned to share with others when I am having a low compassion day, which signals to them that I need their help. When I do fail, I try to acknowledge my failings with others.
Respectful
Good leadership is about showing respect to those around you. Remember that respect and disagreement are not mutually exclusive. You can disagree with someone’s ideas, opinions, and even values, but if you respect them in the process, the disagreement does not become personal. Should you ever feel like you’ve not shown respect to a person on your team, a peer, or a leader – apologise as soon as you can. The act of sincerely apologising rebuilds trust.
Apologising shows self-awareness and a consciousness of the impact your actions have. It is a powerful aspect of vulnerability, and one that is vastly undervalued. It has immense power, even more than the simple act of saying “thank you”.?
Developing
I believe that I am responsible for the well-being and development of my team. Developing my team benefits both the people within and the final outcome of our coordinated efforts.
I can imagine that some will object to ”taking responsibility for the well-being of the people”. For me, this is an expression of my values and the compassion that I have for my colleagues, therefore it is?genuine?to me. Your values and level of compassion are unique to you, so the level of responsibility that you shoulder will be unique to you too.
Obviously, there are limits to how much responsibility I can assume. For example, I don’t take responsibility for issues in my peers’ private lives, but I can recognise how personal challenges can impact them and try to be supportive and be flexible where I can.
With regards to their development, I conduct coaching and training that enables learning beyond their role. I conduct open development conversations that encompass career goals, additional opportunities and secondments.
Be present
To be a good leader you must be able to listen. Listen to the people on your team, your peers and your leaders. The faster an organisation moves, the harder it is for team members to slow down and find the time to listen, but this is when listening and being present is perhaps most important.???
Make time to pause, listen, and reflect to identify and understand the opportunities, issues, and needs facing your organisation and your team.