Never again struggle to say no
Stacey Guyett JP
Enhancing Extraordinary Professionals - Mindset Coach & NLP Leadership Trainer & Accredited Master NLP Trainer
Do you struggle to say no?
No, that doesn’t work for me.
No, I can’t take on the extra work.
No, I can’t catch up on Friday.
No, I can’t assist you at the moment.
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It can be challenging to prioritise your own needs and set boundaries.
What happens when you put yourself first?
People can get annoyed.
And react in a negative way.
You may feel uncomfortable.
Particularly if putting you first is unfamiliar.
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What can you do when you’re walking into a situation that’s vulnerable?
Before responding, consider:
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These strategies can be helpful when your default is to say yes.
As Brene Brown says, “choose discomfort over resentment.”
Choose discomfort in saying no now, rather than feeling resentful in saying yes later.
Often, we have to say yes.
We are often taught to be people pleasers.
To put others first.
This can turn into resentment and self criticism later.
Being hard on yourself.
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It’s also important to acknowledge that saying no won’t always be easy.
You may have to overcome feelings of guilt or fear of disappointing others.
With practice, it becomes more natural.
Each time you say no, you strengthen your ability to stand up for yourself.
This maintains a healthy balance in your life.
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Choose discomfort in saying no.
You can respond with a polite “thank you for asking me, it’s not a good time for me right now”.
Practice saying no with respect and honesty.
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Sometimes it’s not about boundaries.
It’s also about being authentic to yourself.
Honouring your needs.
Some people will push back when you start being authentic to yourself.
It can take practice.
And it’s also being kind to yourself.
On a plane, you’re told to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.
Saying no is putting your mask on first.
You deserve to prioritise yourself and your well-being.
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Learning to say no isn’t about being selfish.
It's about recognising that you deserve care and attention as much as anyone else.
When you say yes at the expense of your own well-being, you deplete your energy and emotional reserves.
It's vital to understand that every "yes" to someone else can sometimes mean a "no" to yourself.
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Setting boundaries is also a form of self-respect.
When you prioritise your needs.
You send a message to yourself and others that your time and energy are valuable.
When you’re authentic to yourself, this can enhance your relationships.
With no hidden resentment or burnout.
In the end, saying no is about sustainability.
You can’t pour from an empty cup.
When you take care of yourself first, you can show up more for others.
So, take that deep breath and honour your boundaries.
Remember that you are worth the time and energy it takes to take care of you.
Be Bold. ? Be Strategic. ? Be Unique.
Remember, keep shining. ??
Australia's only female Master Trainer of NLP and Hypnosis | Internationally Accredited Trainer of Time Line Therapy? and NLP Coaching
3 个月Setting healthy boundaries was my new years resolution. Growing up in a generation when saying 'no' was considered selfish, it has been challenging and so very rewarding. Setting boundaries around 'no' has been of benefit to all involved, as it has allowed those around me to grow in their own resilience! Win-Win all round. Great article and a timely reminder for me that I am on the right track! ??