Neurodiversity -Getting groups right (such as ERGs/Affinity groups)

Neurodiversity - Why we need to get our groups right (such as ERGs/Affinity groups) and why is belonging so important?

Who are we and what does it mean to belong?

As soon as a baby is born and sees its mother they start to form an attachment to their mother. When this doesn’t happen, this can have an emotional impact on the development of that baby. We recognise today how poor attachment can impact self-identification and consequent self-esteem.

Creating our sense of self

Our sense of self and our identity is often derived from perceived membership in social groups.?

It is based on 3 components.?

• Categorisation?is the first process of putting people, including ourselves, into categories.?
• Identification?is the process by which we associate ourselves with certain groups. In-groups are groups with which we identify, and out-groups are ones with which we don't identify.
• Comparison is the process by which we compare our groups with other groups, creating a favourable bias toward the group to which we belong. But also it seems to be creating an unfavourable one of those who don't?quite?fit our narrative.

However, as adults, I am not sure that we consider the importance there is for all of us to feel like we belong. Feeling you are a part of a group, tribe, or peer group can allow you to thrive. I wrote a while ago about the importance of belonging. The alternative is feeling left out of a group and the impact on your wellbeing. ( Note...I am not equating this form of attachment to a mother's bone... this is not a Freudian discussion!)

Groups give us a sense of social identity and a sense of belonging to the social world. They define them and us. Tajfel (1979) proposed a theory about social identity in groups and that the groups (e.g., social class, family, football teams etc.) to which people belonged and how they are an important source of pride and self-esteem.

Our group identities tend to exaggerate both:

·?????the differences between groups;

·?????the similarities of things in the same group.

Categorisation creates groups

The way we group is to use categorisation and labelling. We start early in life by categorising objects to understand, sort and identify them.

Grouping data, objects and people help us to make sense of the complexity. If you have had young children you will have seen them playing with bricks of different sorts and colours.

We sort by attributing words to groups by assigning group names such as chairs and tables being types of furniture or attaching names to people with certain attributes ( e.g., short/tall). In this way, we categorize people (including ourselves) in order to understand the social environment we are in and to know whether we fit in or not. What differs from other forms of categorization is that people tend to place themselves in a category-leading them to prefer members of their own group (ingroup) to those from other groups (outgroup) in terms of social preferences, the manner of response and time and effort spent with them. This social categorisation starts from a young age. Even in early childhood, children expect a level of loyalty and to share their toys with each other.

Are stereotypes inevitable?

Liberman et al (2017) discuss this in more detail but fascinatingly describe how:

"Infants show clear visual preferences for people from certain social groups. For example, infants prefer to look at female faces and at own-race faces. These effects are due to familiarity and vary based on contact. For example, infants who regularly see faces of diverse races do not show own-race preferences, and the own-race visual preferences emerge earlier for female faces than male faces, suggesting the preference is based on liking to look at the type of face that they encounter most often in their environment (own-race females)."

The late Jo Cox said in her maiden speech to parliament:

"We have more in common than that which divides us. Once we have attached ourselves to the group we attribute parts of ourselves to the group to maintain identity."

It makes us use language which is othering such as referring to people as 'neurotypicals' and 'neurodivergents' as if these are distinct 'tribes' that cannot also have many things in common.

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member,"

said Groucho Marx

There is evidence that focusing on people as being distinctive individuals, as opposed to members of groups with collective properties, can lower the transmission of bias towards members of the social group. In support of this idea, introducing people to discuss their differences within the social group has been one of the most effective ways to reduce implicit bias for both adults .

Who is IN our group?

Social categorisation is one explanation for prejudiced attitudes (i.e. “them” and “us” mentality) which leads to in-groups and out-groups. In the group, we have joined we then hear the same things being reiterated which confirms that we are right. To stay in the group, the language, your clothing, and even your hairstyle/colours may be similar as this shows attachment to the group. Our sense of self is attached to the groups we belong to or affiliate with. It is interlinked with our social identities.

Comparison

We compare against those in and out of the group. Those not in 'our group' are often then seen as rivals, and if they are ‘losing’ this can even give us pleasure! This also maintains our identity within the group. We see this in everyday life with football fans booing the opposing team.

For some people who differ in the way they think, act, process information, communicate or move the feeling of never being good enough to be accepted within the neurotypical group can stay with you. I remember as a kid never quite feeling a belonged to a specific group and was actually a part of many very different groups.

This may have been a feeling from a young age and is more than being excluded – it can mean not being invited to the party. If we think about a child with Dyspraxia/DCD who is never chosen by his peers ( or teachers) to play in the team. I remember one mum telling me how she had sent out 30 invitations for everyone from their son's class to come to a party and had one response!

Rejection from the group

Rejection or exclusion from a group can mean we no longer belong.

The one thing that people tell me who have neurodivergent traits is a heightened fear of rejection or being ostracised from a group . ( I have written about this in a past newsletter).

Rejection interestingly taps into the same part of the brain you see stimulated in a real-time scanner using fMRI stimulates the same neural networks as when we feel physical pain. ?If we challenge the group and the words were spoken, it can make us feel very anxious. There is good evidence that the fear of exclusion can trigger major stress reactions. Also by threatening to exclude someone from a group it can also be used as a way to drive people to remain within the group too.

Staying in the group

Do you believe in the group's values and aims? I recently heard of the term 'preference falsification' which came from the economist Tim Kuran. This refers to 'misrepresenting private beliefs and thoughts in public'. It is universal and occurs in many contexts. This behaviour can be due to people's discomfort holding a minority opinion and the social pressure to conform in a group setting."

Preference falsification is “an individual act” that depends on the context: people mask their preferences in one setting but not in another, often depending on the rewards or punishments associated with a chosen preference.

It can end up with you feeding into collective illusions by enforcing the things you don't really believe in. If you are worried about your position in the group you can end up second-guessing what others are thinking or what should be said. It can result in falling into an identity trap and agreeing outwardly with what others are thinking but not internally. This leads to a personal internal debate over supporting the beliefs of others we don’t entirely support. This lack of open debate can ultimately destroy the group.

“It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

said No?l Coward,?Blithe Spirit

Affinity groups

We have seen an increase in the promotion of neurodiverse affinity groups or employee resource groups in many businesses which are said to increase morale and wellbeing. This may be true in many cases and potentially can be a safer place for debate and discussion.

An?affinity group?is a group formed usually around a shared interest or common goal, to which individuals formally or informally belong. However, the terms of reference of the group may need to be carefully considered otherwise the aims and objectives may end up actually creating difference and 'othering' and create the opposite effect altogether. Those outside it feel excluded and those within it cannot speak up and share their differences within the group itself,

The set-up of specific ERGs (Employee Resource Groups) and affinity groups can also, if not managed, create a false perception that an organisation's diversity and inclusion work is done. Leaders may think that because they have these groups covering the ‘underrepresented employees’ in their organisation that they have done what needs to be done. The 'problem' has been contained and outwardly they can show to others they are doing 'good things. Members may have a safe place to voice their opinions within the group but do they have a path to discuss concerns outside this group?

Most people who run the groups are doing this voluntarily on top of their day jobs. There is often no budget allocation which means there may not always be senior leadership adoption to the group as well.

For neurodivergent individuals, this increase in workload may create further stress despite being keen to engage and seeing participation as valuable to them and others. If you are trying to balance work life day to day precariously could they ironically miss out on other promotion opportunities because they can’t do it all?

We need to be careful that by developing different ERGs’ (usually with really good intent) we don’t inadvertently stop what we were wanting to start i.e., a more equitable and inclusive workplace and end up limiting dialogue between us. They may end up othering those who wanted to be included and cancel out the aims of intersectional working altogether.

What does the person do who identifies with several groups but doesn’t quite meet the mark for one? We may begin to label individuals by the specific criteria set within the ERG ( moving to a medical model of needing a 'label'), and this can end up ironically categorising people. The one thing we wanted to avoid in the first place!

What can we all do?

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken," said?Oscar Wilde

• Make sure anyone can join any group who has an interest in being there - we all want and need allies- respectful curiosity is always a good thing and that is what inclusion is about.
• Encourage people in your organisation to join several groups ( expanding our social identity portfolios) - this will mean more open conversations and more diverse experiences. This leads to greater understanding and increases resilience, encourages greater tolerance and a more nuanced view of the world.
• Allow time to talk about the things that are different from each other as well as share common experiences.
• We need 'buy-in' from Senior Leadership Teams (SLT)/C-Suite so the group has meaning and validity.
• Value the time that people are giving and don't view this as voluntary on top of a day job. It may limit who can participate and lose out on those with valid views and experiences.
• Ensure meetings are accessible and inclusive in style and delivery. Some people have competing demands in and out of work ( for example being a parent of a neurodivergent child). You may want to vary how, where and when they run. Don't take the average response as the one to follow!
• Listen and value what is being discussed and use this important resource to shape actions and developments.
• Make sure any groups work with other groups as there will be similarities and differences that can be valuable learning for all.

The blog author

I am Amanda Kirby, CEO of?Do-IT Solutions ?a tech-for-good company that delivers web-based screening tools that help deliver person-centred solutions. I am a mixed bag of experiences and skills and have 25+ years of working in the field of neurodiversity. I am a medical doctor, Professor, and PhD in the field of neurodiversity; parent and grandparent to neurodivergent wonderful kids and am neurodivergent myself ( bits of me I share!).

Theo Smith and I wrote together?Neurodiversity at Work?Drive Innovation, Performance and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce . We won the?Business Book Awards 2022 Equality, Diversity and Inclusion?for the best book.

I have my 10th book coming out called Neurodiversity and Education in Spring 2023. I have been voted one of the top 20 Thinkers by?HR magazine for 2022 - so need to think a bit more!!

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself and not a second-rate version of someone else.”

―?Judy Garland