Neurodiversity-what stops you starting and 3 key ways to help...

Have you set resolutions to change but found them hard to enact...

It's the New Year.... and maybe you have set yourself a New Year resolution... but how many have you have already 'failed' on the goals you tried to set yourself.

Does this make you feel bad...and leaving you feeling you have failed yet again.

Even when we begin to think about setting goals we can feel resentful.

Who ever wants 'dry January'? Have you looked outside at the moment? It's miserable. May be we need dry beginning of December...

We can think that other people are doing it and we need to do this too...But if you are anything like me the goals we need to achieve we avoid considering all together,...

I was also listening to Brene Brown and Lisa Lahey about our 'Immunity to Chang'e and it made me think about this in the context of neurodiversity.

Find the right time for change

You may know you need to change something in your life but it may not be the right time for you to do so at the moment because you have other stresses in your life that you have less control over. This is why putting an annual day for change is so ridiculous for so many of us.

Maybe before starting anything and jumping in you need to spend some time thinking what stops you starting to do something...

• Is this because you resent doing something at a set time or resent others for telling you need to do something and so it feels like your control is being taken away from you?
• Is deciding to start to do something on a certain day of the year ( e.g. Jan 1st) almost like somebody enforcing the change?
• Do you hate feeling constrained or controlled and fight against this?
• Do you think by defining you are going to do one thing, then it may stop you from doing the things you really like to do?
• Do you think the change may not be worth the effort or the effort will be too great?

We can be a bit 'all or nothing' in our approach!

Acting too quickly

One ADHD trait we can often have is impulsivity and so when we have decided to do something we jump in with 2 feet and do it NOW. We can have Action Biases

Action bias?is the?psychological phenomenon ?where people tend to favor action over inaction, even when there is no indication that doing so would point towards a better result. It is an?automatic response , similar to a?reflex ?or an?impulse ?and is not based on?rational thinking . This is a sort of impulsivity.. acting without thinking... we see it also in toddlers and teenagers! We get swept along with needing to be seen doing something rather than nothing even though the result may not be great....

Enthusiasm =100%

Effort = 90%

Success = 10%

Feelings of failure = 100% ( I want to say 110% ....but I know that's not possible!)

Impact on self esteem = 100%

Perhaps what we haven't stopped to consider are the best times and processes to do our best work.

Not getting started at all........

The other end of the change is moving from planning to doing.

Why is it so hard to get started to do some tasks even when you know need to complete them?

I was thinking about why I put off a task I think I will find boring even though when I actually finally do the task, it takes less time than I thought it would and I am pleased that I have completed it. I spend ages having it on my to do list and move it along.... in my calendar. Anyone do that too?

There are 1000s of organisational and productivity books which are on the best sellers. I am sure you have some of them. We can read them and I sit their nodding to myself and agreeing with the strategies but it doesn't move me from awareness to action.

Why is that the case?

We can also be very dismissive of trying out organisational strategies because we think we have tried them all before, and they didn't work the last time.

What is inertia?

This is a tendency to do nothing or to remain unchanged.In Physics: ‘Inertia’ is the term for Newton’s first law of motion, which is the tendency of a body to stay in the same state of motion unless acted on by an external force.

Other terms associated with inertia in the dictionary include:inactivity; dormancy; passivity; apathy; malaise; stagnation; dullness; sluggishness; lethargy; torpor; indolence; laziness; sloth; immobility.

Why do we think difficulties getting started are associated with laziness or sloth, when for some procrastination is a daily reality?

There are good reasons for not getting started and these can include some of the following feelings:

• Challenges breaking the actions into parts and also knowing how long each part will take. Poor time estimation.
• Sufficient motivation –?perceiving the task will be boring and then I think that time will stand still. A lack of interest in the action you need to achieve.
• Praxis –?this is the planning part and is something that is a common challenge for people with dyspraxia/DCD.
• Task switching - can feel uncomfortable.
• Fear of failure?– last time you tried to do this task or strategy it did not work out so you don't want to go there again.
• Anxiety?– I don’t know if I can do it. Fear can make you freeze.
• Preference- I prefer doing what I am doing now want to be in a pleasurable flow state.
• Depression?– I am not motivated to get going. I feel stuck.
• Distractible -?Other things are distracting me from the ‘thing’ I am supposed to be doing.

Is inertia associated with some neurodivergent traits?

Inertia has been associated with ADHD. It has been suggested to be associated with lower dopamine levels. Often the catalyst to ‘get going' comes from external pressures e.g., and also needing someone to help map out what needs to be done. What we can also see is that when something is of high interest the energy can come in dollops.

But if the path is not clear then this is when we can feel stuck.

As Lewis Carroll said:

“If you don't know where you are going any road can take you there”

The trouble also happens when you realise you have wasted time not getting going despite needing to achieve some tasks you really need to do.

Some people use the term?‘autistic inertia”

Buckle and colleagues? published a study ?with adults on the autism spectrum about autistic inertia. They consider that “inertia overlaps with the concept of ‘monotropism ’ (Murray et al., 2005), or the autistic tendency to focus narrowly and deeply on topics or objects of interest, which has both positive and negative aspects.” They go on to suggest that “Catatonia, a complex psychomotor syndrome, is typically envisaged as a lack of responsiveness to the environment (stupor) and freezing in awkward positions (posturing)” may present in different forms and may be part of the inertia picture.

Developmental Coordination Disorder (also known as Dyspraxia) is all about movement. I have personally seen the difficulties my children have had when it comes to the act of handwriting and the effort it takes to put pen on paper and make shapes others can read. The disappointment in their eyes when they see what is produced despite the ideas present.?The act of planning what to do and how to make the shapes on the page can be challenging.

'Just get started!'

When people make a comment like " just get started" it can be so annoying and can imply that if only you were more committed; tried harder or with less lazy you would be able to do this. I actually think that is wrong and often why we don't achieve success.

Is avoiding feelings of boredom another reason for not getting going.

Some people have written about a few conditions that need to be met for people to feel bored. You need to have a reasonable level of psychological energy or?arousal?to feel bored. High arousal gives you the energy to get going. Boredom typically occurs when people have trouble focusing their attention and get distracted by competing interests. The environment you are in can be distractible or conducive to maintaining interest.

Taking the first step

Executive functioning (EF) skills include the ability to flexibly start, stop and switch tasks. Challenges with EF may mean that breaking down a task into parts is incredibly difficult to do.From my experience, many people can't?even get onto the first step to get started.

“Chew off a little every day, because it’s hard to swallow a whole pie at once.”?

―?Richelle E. Goodrich

What are the results of inertia?

Exhaustion Anger Frustration ?Lowered self-esteem

Depression Impact on relationships with others Decreased productivity

How do you get started? Are you in the right mind?

“All things are ready, if our mind be so.”?

―?William Shakespeare,?Henry V

First think if you are you actually ready to get started? Is it a time to start a new habit or do you need to sort some other things out first.

Check your readiness for change

1.Start by understanding your behaviours and the world around you

• What do you want to do more of or less of? What is really important to you - what are your values?When was a time that you worked most effectively?
• What do you do at the moment to avoid doing something?
• What helps you to focus more?
• What gives you pleasure that you can use as a reward e.g. making a favourite hot drink; listening to some music; meeting a friend?
• Are there things in your life you need to cope with at the moment and taking on big change is not possible... be realistic and kind to yourself.

2.Create a vision of what you want to obtain.

• Take time and break this into smaller parts...e.g. by end of the year you want to gain a qualification, save money, get a specific job... you need to break this into further goals and into smaller goals...

3.Identifying strategies you may want to try

• What has worked for you in other areas of your life?. do you do your washing every week on a certain day; do you clean your teeth every morning; how do you remember where your keys are in the house; how do you get to a meeting on time; do you do some exercise every week,do you manage to play a computer game every evening or watch a TV programme every week?
• Start by writing down some options e.g. 15 minute blocks, Pomodoro technique, peer to peer learning, using a calendar reminders, using a bullet journals.
• Can you change the framing of how you see something and so it is seen as more pleasurable - listen to an audiobook of something you are interested in while doing ironing, filing, sorting, cooking, clearing out a room/garage, listen to music you enjoy, have a love cup of tea at the same time as doing the task ( just saying that the answer to life is tea!)
• Consider what time of day is best for high focus tasks.
• What setting makes it easier to be successful e.g. quiet room, working with others around you, music on or off?

What/Who else can help you?

• Scaffolding - use tools to support you in making the change you need. A calendar with a reminder that sets alarms and prompts and reminds you can be a game changer. Visual tools using different colours to help you see what is important.Don't try to remember it all.
• Ask for help - My thoughts and experiences working with many, many children and adults are that sometimes you require some help with planning and creating the path and the steps to get you started. This is scaffolding. You need a map reader to help plan the journey. A positive word can help to encourage action. A negative comment can drive you back into the depths of inertia.It is hard sometimes also to get the car to change gears. Motivation and interest are the oil that allows this to happen otherwise they remain sticky. (Sorry about all the metaphors!)
• Have a buddy to work with or be alongside

“Over every mountain, there is a path, although it may not be seen from the valley.”

said Theodore Roethke

• Create a place you like to be in -this can be a moving space with headphones if you are commuting with music or brown noise that can help you. You may need different sounds for different tasks, and times of the day. A desk space that has 'fiddle tools' at the ready.
• Set aside one small time slot -15 minutes. Find one 15 minute slot each day to focus on a specific task you want to do. Ring fence it. Same time every day. Commit to that. These units can be a really effective of time stacking.
• Create rhythms - create some structure and rhythms around the variability of every week - have some tasks you always do on certain days. Beginnings and endings of the day can help with this.
• Recognise and celebrate the goals you have achieved. Sometimes we only focus on what we haven't done rather than small but sustained gains.

Knowing you will be consistently inconsistent is an essential reality. You may end up retrying techniques you have also failed at in the past.

Build in the reality that you will stop and need to potentially restart.

Increase your arousal state

If your mood is continuously low, then gaining some help from professionals may be important. Learning approaches like CBT and taking exercise every day may help. When you exercise, your?brain releases neurotransmitters, including dopamine, which help with attention and clear thinking.

There is some evidence that taking exercise is especially helpful for people with ADHD. However once again you need to find the right exercise that is stimulating enough but has some rhythm to that. I have been doing yoga.I have a great teacher who has a mix of structure in a session that is familiar to me and variability that allows me not to get bored. The constant change and movement stops me thinking about how long I am going to be there and feelings of boredom that can often occur.

Address sleep disturbance if this is problematic can also helpful to increase your energy levels. Try to have a rhythm for this too - without too bigger swing between weekends and weekdays in time to bed and time to rise.

?So, what do you think and what are your experiences?

Others can (mis) judge what they see and end not realizing the effort to stay still, and get started is huge and it is nothing about laziness or sloth at all.

• What productivity tools do you like?
• What apps/calendars or other hacks have you tried that helped you?

The blog author

I am Amanda Kirby.I am a parent and grandparent to neurodivergent wonderful kids and am neurodivergent myself (bits of me I share!).

I am a mixed bag of experiences and skills and have 25+ years of working in the field of neurodiversity and running a clinical and research team.

I am a medical doctor, G.P, Professor, and have a Ph.D. in the field of neurodiversity;?

I am also CEO of?Do-IT Solutions ?a tech-for-good company that delivers web-based screening tools and training that help 1000s' of people deliver person-centered solutions relating to neurodiversity and wellbeing.

Theo Smith and I wrote the UK award-winning book?Neurodiversity at Work?Drive Innovation, Performance, and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce . I have my 10th book coming out called?Neurodiversity and Education ?coming out in March this year.