Neurodiversity: Living on the Sensitivity Spectrum in the Workplace & Our Mental Health

About 5 weeks ago an article popped up on my Apple News Feed. It was something like, "Are you an HSP, Highly Sensitive Person." I clicked on it and read the criteria and went, "Holy shit, this is me." Literally for 30 years, I have been psychoanalyzing myself to understand why I am so different and understand why my brain works the way it does. This discovery changed my life! I realized, who I am and why I think the way I do. It became a 10 day super intense journey where I absorbed information like a sponge. I flashed back seeing patterns across my life and genetic relationships across family. It all made sense for the first time.

I'll note before I dive in. The negative experiences in my life, while challenging have also contributed to my resilience and purpose-driven intensity and shaped me positively.

I am definitely a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) , represented as 15-20% of humans. I am also a High Sensation Seeker (HSS) and I grew up as Twice Exceptional (2e) learning difference kid who sees the world more dominantly as Visual Spacial Learner . In many respects, I am a collage of contradicting personality traits :)

Here's the other thing, I hate being labeled more than anything! Yet here I am labeling myself to the public, all in hopes that others might discover who they are...realizing they are uniquely special and gifted in their own right.

Here's the relationship to personality tests to also compare: I most these cases, we can manipulate.

• Myers-Briggs : #ENFP
• DISC : I/SD
• Clifton Strengths : #Empathy , #Activator , #Futuristic , #Individualism , #Developer

So....I write this for three purposes:

1. Perhaps what I share will help you or others confused by their own mental state. Maybe you discover who you are and won't feel so alone.
2. The workplace can be a really challenging for persons like me, which is why so many neurodivergent people are left out of the workplace.
3. AND, I like to get these thoughts off my mind, it helps. Why not put myself out there to help normalize neurodiversity.

Here is how I work in a nutshell:

1. I live on one side of the sensitivity spectrum. Meaning I am literally sensitive to everything, sight, touch, smell, sound, taste, body and emotions. It can be sensory overload all the time. I always knew this, but only truly realized it 5 weeks ago officially.
2. Deep and over processing information like crazy, all day long, all night, and in my dreams. This means one thought can last for days. It can be quite intense when you have a thought you don't want to think about! It can be extraordinarily awesome when you are intensely solving a problem you want to solve. In the workplace, I need more space to think and having too much bombardment from everyone can be highly stressful. Meditation, yoga, exercise, and trying to live in the present helps out.
3. I am a Twice Exceptional (2e) learning difference kid. As a result my intellect was masked as a C student most of my life and my teachers pushed me by. Then into graduate school where you have to get a B-. For those like me, all of this can diminish self-esteem. To experience this: Imagine applying for jobs when companies ask for your GPA, a test based on word problems, and your resume/cover letters are riddled with grammatical errors. Let's just say you don't move to the top of their list. Persons in this situation will get career-based PSTD, unless they found their niche, typically as an entrepreneur.
4. I am a more dominant Visual Spacial Learner. I therefore clearly see the holistic picture and I think in systems. So if you show me 3 of 10 slivers, it can be frustrating. It's because I want to see the big picture first and visually. Once I see that picture, I can rapidly identify patterns and connect all dots across the system faster than most people. In the workplace, if you are a manger and only show the slivers we can't really solve complex system problems that in a majority of the cases, most people will never see. It also makes it mentally challenging, because you can completely feel stuck and out of your element, while lowering overall productivity.
5. I am overly empathetic and read subtleties in people, situations, and emotions. When you think subtleties, I can hear, see and sense the tiniest differences. Empathy in this case is more similar to a 6th sense. This is a gift and a curse at the same time. In the workplace for example, I can clearly see manipulation of self-interests, like a soap opera. I sit back in disbelief a lot of the time watching others push themselves ahead. Whereas, I am trying to help others succeed. Yes, this does not work to my advantage as a standard employee, as I can be taken advantage of. I can also sense stress across teams and have a good pulse on "feelings" in an organization. The advantage, I am a very good counselor, because I can quickly relate to situations and reduce tensions by mediating extremes.
6. I am really intense and I can get moody when I want to solve a problem. I don't want anything getting in my way, period. In fact, my head heats up, it starts to hurt and eventually I will crash and need a recovery phase. So I generally learn to regulate it, which can be tough. It's likely doing a lot of damage to the whole body and has taken some years off my life. Yet, it's pretty awesome when I can use it to my advantage and effectively. In the workplace, it can be scary to an extent. Often people don't know what to make of it, when my intense focus turns on, it's really on.
7. I am futuristic. It might seem a bit far fetched, but all my personality tests show futuristic thinking and it's backed by the HSP intuition with gut feelings. I'll be honest, it's harder to concentrate as much in the present. Instead I always see what's in the future. Generally, I have been 85-90% of the time accurate having watched my social systems concepts validated over the past two decades. In the workplace and as a entrepreneur this is a HUGE advantage. It enables me to build and inspire teams that collaboratively come together to solve problems that seem impossible. The reality is anything is possible, it just depends on how you look at the situation. In the workplace, I need to slow down, back up and explain the steps in how we get there, which can be tough sometimes :)
8. I am more prone to mental health conditions, low self-esteem, depression and PSTD. I think this particular part was eye opening to me, because its how I felt and it makes sense now. Given my situation, growing up in "special classes" with all of the other unique learners, it changes your self-perception. I have been made fun of based on how I interpret questions or perform in the education system. When I take this into the career world with challenges getting a job and trying to fit into to a "normal" workplace, you get PSTD. So generally, I move towards entrepreneurial work because workplace trauma. Thankfully, companies are becoming more aware these days and accepting.
9. The most ironic part about learning I am an HSP/HSS + Visual Spatial Learner. In 1998, I was called for purpose to help people. On a single night when I saw Toni Morrison speak about the challenges of the urban poor. I quickly put myself into the shoes of the described single mom struggling and said, "I cannot allow anyone to go through that pain." I was privileged with a good family and resources and decided to dedicate my life to doing whatever I could to help people. This led me on a challenging journey balancing both purpose and trying to pay the bills in meaningless jobs. Therefore I always have my bill paying job and my entrepreneurial purpose job. My focus is the same today: How do I streamline collaboration and collective impact to more rapidly solve complex systems problems. When I am not doing this work... I get a bit pissed off :)

So here I am, we all have unique stresses, anxieties, mental health and neurological differences + life challenges. Each situation is different and we experience it in our own space and time. For me without a good family and their resources to help me, I know for a fact I would not be where I am at today. Understanding this over my decades, I realize how others can be challenged and struggle in life. When I see a houseless person who is a genius, I can assume they were confronted with barriers that put them over the edge. They might not of had the same support system i had.

I share all of this openly because I know others struggle with similarities of what I went through in school and career. I know in the past I have been close to mental breakdowns as a result of trying to stay afloat financially, while trying to find my place in the career world. As an adult, we don't necessarily have the same support network we require to cope. You can't get help mentally, because therapy costs a lot of money and they need to diagnose you with some condition/disorder to get insurance to pay for it. So more often than not, people fall through the crack in life.

I can't be embarrassed by this as friends and people who I know read it. Instead, I want to keep normalizing the importance of mental health and recognizing that each of us posses a unique attribute that adds value in the world. We should constantly be recognizing these values in others.

The hardest part that I struggle with too, it's being more accepting of our differences. It's knowing that on the outside someone might look "normal." On the inside they might be struggling. The symptoms we see in one another can actually be rooted into something much deeper.

I challenge you to find yourself. Remember if you see someone that seems a bit off, realize they might be struggling in someway. In your career, find your purpose and I see how you feel about being more open, knowing there are a lot of others out there in similar shoes.

How can we help one another overcome those obstacles and find their destiny that makes them happy!

#neurodiversity #mentalhealth #learningdifferences #HSP #HSS #sensitivity #wellbeing #highlysensitiveperson #visualspatial #2e #twiceexceptional