Neurodiversity 101: Why empathy is not all the same... and what does it mean for workplaces?

A few weeks ago I had a tough week. It was the first time in 44 years that I was NOT celebrating my wedding anniversary. My husband suddenly died last year. BUT I don't want sympathy (e.g. head tilted to the side and that look!). What I want to highlight is the importance of empathy in our lives, especially what this means in the workplace. ??

Where does empathy come from?

Empathy comes from the Greek word empatheia, meaning passion. It's the ability to experience and understand what others feel without confusion between oneself and others. Knowing what someone else is feeling plays a fundamental role in interpersonal interactions. It's important for moral reasoning as well as prosocial behaviour.

Empathy is often described as ‘the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.’ This is different from sympathy, which relates to ‘feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.’Empathy can lead to positive outcomes like fostering altruism, but it also has potential downsides. Empathy’s sensitivity to others' emotions can sometimes be overwhelming.

The dual nature of empathy

Empathy has been divided into cognitive and affective components (Singer, 2006):

• Affective empathy: This is the capacity to understand someone else’s feelings and emotions by sharing these through observation or imagination of the experience (Singer & Lamm, 2009). Affective empathy creates compassionate actions and is your deep feeling for others (Baron-Cohen & Wheelwright, 2004).
• Cognitive empathy: This is the understanding of what someone else’s emotions may be, without being emotionally involved (Shamay-Tsoory, Aharon-Peretz, & Perry, 2009). Cognitive empathy involves perspective-taking and allows you to stand back from the emotions you are feeling, e.g., you may be concerned about world peace but know you are unlikely to influence it directly.

The link between neurodiversity and empathy

What is interesting and relevant to neurodiversity is the interplay between cognitive and affective empathy. Empathy is assisted by other cognitive abilities such as executive functions, perception of visual cues, and language, all influenced by our social and cultural contexts (Decety, Norman, Berntson, & Cacioppo, 2012).

Cognitive empathy also requires decision-making about whether or not to act on the emotional situation being witnessed.

I am always interested in people's strengths in neurodiversity. In my clinical experience, working with thousands of people with neurodivergent traits, I noticed many people with Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD or Dyspraxia) seemed to be very kind and sensitive. However, this kindness and caring could also cause high levels of anxiety, as they worried a lot about everything and everyone. They put themselves in their shoes.This can feel like weight that can weigh them down.

My colleague and friend Dr. Miri Tal-Saban and I researched the intersection between cognitive and affective empathy in adults with DCD. We found higher rates of affective empathy in people with DCD compared to those without it. This suggests that a strength of people with DCD is higher levels of empathy but it comes with higher anxiety too because you can worry too much.

Empathy is not a one-way street

The 'double empathy problem' refers to a breakdown in mutual understanding that can occur between any two people, but it's more common when people with very different ways of thinking interact. In the context of interactions between autistic and non-autistic people, the issue has often been wrongly attributed solely to autistic individuals. This has led to autism being seen primarily as a social communication disorder.

The term 'double empathy problem' was first introduced in an academic journal 10 years ago (Milton, 2012). It highlights that successful interaction depends on both people sharing similar experiences and ways of understanding the world. For example, autistic people might have different sensory perceptions, affecting communication and mutual understanding.

Studies have shown that both autistic and non-autistic individuals contribute to the mutual understanding issues.Understanding the 'double empathy problem' is important in workplaces as it can help foster better interactions and empathy between neurotypical and neurominority individuals, creating a more inclusive and understanding environment.

What you see....the impact of observing conflicts: stress and empathy in the workplace

When we witness conflicts at work, it can lead to stress, affecting us both mentally and physically. Research shows that simply observing conflict can cause fatigue and strain but the impact may be different for different people.

Bystander intervention research highlights how our social environment influences our actions. For instance, the presence of others can affect whether we step in to provide support during a conflict. This is important when we are trying to build allyship ( see past blogpost) and safe workplaces for all.

The power of empathy in the workplace

Understanding and sharing the feelings of others—empathy—plays a crucial role in building strong, cohesive teams and fostering effective leadership. Empathy allows leaders to connect with their team members on a deeper level. When leaders show genuine concern for their employees' well-being, it fosters trust and respect. This connection can lead to more open communication, where employees feel safe to share their thoughts and concerns without fear of judgment.

References:

Tal-Saban and Kirby, 2019?Saban, MT & Kirby, A 2019, 'Empathy, social relationship and co-occurrence in young adults with DCD', Human Movement Science, vol. 63, no. February 2019, S0167945718303658, pp. 67-72.?https://pure.southwales.ac.uk/en/publications/empathy-social-relationship-and-cooccurrence-in-young-adults-with-dcd(8693e664-1f41-4d38-a3b7-31af92300522).html

Empathy in the Workplace: Disentangling Affective from Cognitivenbsp;Empathy.Vallette d’Osia, Armelle ; Meier, Laurenz L.Occupational health science, 2024-07

The ‘double empathy problem’: Ten years on.Milton, Damian ; Gurbuz, Emine ; López, Beatriz.London, England: SAGE Publications.Autism : the international journal of research and practice, 2022-11, Vol.26 (8), p.1901-1903

Blog Author

I am Amanda Kirby, CEO of Do-IT Solutions a tech-for-good company that delivers consultancy and guidance, consultancy, training and web-based screening tools that have helped 10s of 1000s of people.

Contact us and we can discuss how we can help.

We strive to deliver person-centered solutions relating to neurodiversity and wellbeing.I am a mixed bag of experiences and skills and have 25+ years of working in the field of neurodiversity.

I am a medical doctor, Professor, and have a Ph.D. in the field of neurodiversity; most important of all I am a parent and grandparent to neurodivergent wonderful kids and am neurodivergent myself.

I have written 10 books so far.Theo Smith and I wrote the UK award-winning book?Neurodiversity at Work Drive Innovation, Performance, and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce. My 11th book came out in 2023 Neurodiversity and Education. Theo and I are writing a new book this year about parenting and neurodiversity!