Neurodiversity 101: How to be an ally.

Yesterday I spoke at a Celebrating Neurodiversity event about how we can be an ally with some latest insights.

What is allyship?

Allyship is when a person of privilege works in partnership with a marginalised group of people to remove the barriers that challenge that group's rights, provide equal access and opportunity to thrive in all aspects of our society.

It is all about creating a more inclusive and just society by actively working to dismantle systems of oppression and discrimination. It is a vital component of social change and progress toward greater equality.

Allyship means recognising the imbalance in processes, places, and privileges and working hard to make change happen. Diversity, inclusion, and belonging are far more than an awareness session to tick a box.Real changes needs to happen a every day!

Where do we start?

1. Education and awareness: Allies educate themselves about the experiences, challenges, and needs of the marginalised group they are supporting. This includes listening to their stories, reading about their experiences, and staying informed about relevant issues.
2. Advocacy and amplification: Allies use their privilege and influence to speak up and advocate for the rights and well-being of marginalised individuals or communities. They amplify the voices of those who may not have the same platform or opportunities to be heard.
3. Taking action: Allies take concrete actions to support the cause. This may involve participating in protests, donating to organisations, volunteering, or promoting policies that advance equity and justice.
4. Listening: Allies prioritise listening to the concerns and needs of the marginalised group. They avoid speaking over them or assuming they know what is best. They centre the experiences and perspectives of those they are supporting.
5. Interrupting bias and discrimination: Allies actively challenge and confront biased or discriminatory behaviour when they encounter it, whether it's in their personal relationships, workplace, or broader society.
6. Continuous learning and growth: Allyship is an ongoing process. Allies continue to learn, reflect, and grow in their understanding of the issues at hand. They are open to feedback and are willing to make changes in their behavior and beliefs.
7. Accountability: Allies hold themselves and others accountable for their actions and behaviours. They recognise that they may make mistakes but commit to learning from them and doing better in the future.

What does this mean in the context of neurodiversity?

I first wrote about this in January 2022 and so felt it was time to revisit what allyship really means in a ND context as time has passed and there has been some increased awareness.

I asked in January 2024 on Linkedin neurodivergent people what they thought allyship meant to them. I was overwhelmed with responses and comments, with more than 839 people answering my question.

I did a thematic analysis on the comments from many wonderful people describing in more detail what allyship meant to them.

These were the themes that emerged:

1. Valuing diverse perspectives: People emphasised the importance of not making assumptions about individuals based on their communication style or neurodivergent status. It highlights the value of considering different perspectives and recognizing that even those who may go off on tangents can have valuable insights to offer.
2. Supporting Neurodivergent individuals: Creating a supportive environment for neurodivergent individuals requires allies to prioritise empathy, respect for diversity, adaptable communication, tailored accommodations, and advocacy. It's about understanding, accommodating, amplifying voices, and fostering inclusive cultures for a more equitable society.
3. Effective communication: Effective communication is a recurring theme, stressing the need for compassionate and patient redirection when necessary. It also highlights the desire for clear, direct, and honest communication, rather than relying on potentially contradictory body language or making assumptions.
4. Being heard and believed: Neurodivergent individuals expressed the desire to be listened to and believed when sharing their experiences. They seek acknowledgment and understanding without judgment or dismissal.
5. Respecting differences: Someone drew a parallel between communicating with non-native English speakers and communicating with neurodivergent individuals. They emphasised the importance of respecting differences, making an effort to understand, and showing patience and respect.People specifically described what they thought good allyship looked like :"I am not made to feel that I need to minimise myself or mask any of my neurodivergent traits.""not making assumptions""appreciate those who don’t make me feel like I need fixing because my neurodiversity is a strength in itself and helps me bring diversity of thought to my work and team.""They aren't stuck on how frank I speak. ....They want the job done and are open to putting all ideas on the table, as silly as they may sound..""Just because you may go of on tangents ocassionally does not mean you do not have valuable insights and a lot to add.""keeping an open mind; being willing to try to understand where you’re coming from""Respectful curiosity"

What can you do to be an ally?

Some of the conversations we have relating to neurodiversity can be challenging because often we are uncertain about using the right words or offending a person. Instead, we decide to say nothing.

You may be in a position of power - don't waste this and be an ally.ERGs that are run relating to neurodiversity need to be open spaces where people feel free to talk, ask and listen. We can learn so much from each other if we don’t have them and us approach.

Walk alongside the other person

Leverage your privilege. Sometimes fear can make us not stand up and ask for what we want or need.

Be a mentor or a voice for someone who doesn't have a voice or has less confident to speak.

Speak up - Find out how the person prefers to communicate to ensure they have an opportunity to have their own voice heard. If you have a platform to amplify others' stories then use it in a positive way to make a difference.

Enhance the culture of inclusion by engaging with their marginalised colleagues and providing support in their daily lived experiences.

Listen - think about where conversations take place. Busy background noise or when someone is tired at the end of a busy day may not be the best time to have a conversation. Acknowledge the words someone is speaking and see their skills for what they are. Neurodivergent people are often held to higher standards.

What do you think allyship means?

Blog Author

I am Amanda Kirby, CEO of Do-IT Solutions a tech-for-good company that delivers consultancy and guidance, training and web-based screening tools that have helped 10s of 1000s of people. We strive to deliver person-centered solutions relating to neurodiversity and wellbeing.

I am a mixed bag of experiences and skills and have 25+ years of working in the field of neurodiversity. I am a medical doctor, Professor, and have a Ph.D. in the field of neurodiversity; most important of all I am a parent and grandparent to neurodivergent wonderful kids and am neurodivergent myself.

I have written 10 books so far.Theo Smith and I wrote the UK award-winning book?Neurodiversity at Work Drive Innovation, Performance, and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce. My 10th book came out called Neurodiversity and Education in March 2023. Theo and I are writing a new book this year about parenting and neurodiversity!