Neurodiversity 101: being a neuroinclusive manager

I have been thinking a lot about what it means for a manager to manage someone or a few people who are neurodivergent in their team and it made me realise that as a manager recognising the different ways your team works best and differently is at the heart and soul of a good manager.

No-one would deny that being a manager is challenging at the best of times. There are multiple demands on you...you are managing others, managing yourself and managing expectations from above as well.This can feel very much like being squashed in the middle of a sandwich....where everyone wants a bite out of you!

Along with these multiple roles you have to be both a productivity manager and a people manager.As humans we will also have competing demands in our own lives both at home and work.

Cost of living increases, and coping with post Covid challenges are all putting pressure on organisations. This pressure feeds back to managers.The last few years we have gone from VUCA 1.0 (1) and perhaps today we are moving towards different needs VUCA 2.0 (2)

• V = Volatility(1)………….Vision(2)
• U = Uncertainty(1)…… Understanding(2)
• C = Complexity(1)……..Courage(2)
• A = Ambiguity(1)…. ….Adaptability(2)

1.Warren Bennis?and?Burt Nanus; 2. Bill George?

Looking after you first .. as a manager?

Managers need to be able to actively listen and understand the needs of their workforce. They also need to be one step ahead predicting and planning what needs to be done next... lots of skills....

We have been encouraging everyone to be their 'authentic self' but what is the implication for a manager if their team is sharing a lot about themselves. Being empathetic is important but can be challenging if you are not sure how to deal and respond appropriately with the right words people are speaking.

In the last few weeks I have heard from some people when they shared with their manager they were neurodivergent comments like...

" you are nothing like anyone else I have met who was autistic.. are you sure?"

"I am not sure why you are telling me this now?"

" Is that why you interrupt me in meetings because you have ADHD?"

None of these comments are great... and the impact on the person of a wrong comment can have a lasting and scarring effect. But how can we help managers get this right?

A manager is not:

• A counsellor
• A diagnostician
• HR professional (unless you are)
• A parent
• A mind reader ( more about this in an up coming newsletter!)

A manager should be an “agent of change.”

But let's start with how you are feeling (if you are a manager)?

How you respond to others can often be how you are also feeling and can make a huge difference in your ability to manage others. When you are under pressure from the organisation you work in because the organisation is under pressure too you are going to put pressure on others too. .... This is also the time when the people you manage may be having personal challenges. Heads down can mean you may miss the body language/other signs that there is a warning that someone needs to be listened to..

How we manage in these situations often depends on what's in our own stress buckets. (what is or has been flowing in your bucket is important to recognise... challenges 6 months ago + last weeks' challenges + something today can make it overflow this morning). If you are 'just coping' yourself then if you are meeting a staff member for a challenging conversation you may not be in the best place to have 'that' conversation..

Where do YOU go when you need to offload or empty your bucket?

As a manager you may be needing to 'hold it together' despite at times not feeling 100%. You may have to give difficult news, and deal with changing teams with a team with a range of communication preferences. You can soak up the feelings of your team too. Frequent staff turnover or expansion of a team can lead to you reshaping the team again and again...

It can be hard when you are stuck in the weeds to gain a parachute view of how to make team members work effectively together.

Having people you can share your feelings with and discuss concerns remains important as a manager. It can feel a very lonely space. Finding allies to talk to whether it is in the organisation, mentors or close family or friends to off load on is important.

What has this all got to do with neurodiversity?

We are all neurodiverse! In a team you will have the quiet ones(see a past newsletter), the dominant ones, the analysts, the thinkers, the empaths and more... You and/or the team you manage may have members within it who may neurodivergent. This may result in differences in communication approaches. If you don't recognise this... it can lead to communication clashes too and a potential loss of talent, poorer team cohesion and misunderstandings...

By being more aware of these differences your team can function more productively.

What can you do to be a more neuroinclusive manager?

• Check your biases to start with - do you want team members to really laugh at your jokes? What do you know about neuro-differences? Are you worried about saying the wrong thing? Can you be curious and ask the person more about themselves?
• Be aware of the team dynamics and check communication preferences and differences and discuss this with the team so there is shared understanding.
• Consider what is or has caused challenges within the team now or in the past. Check this is not down to misunderstanding on YOUR part and down to different communication preferences.
• Someone new coming in can mean you need to reset the rules of engagement.
• Performance management conversations are often too late- why do we wait till it has become a problem rather than problem solve as we go along? Regular check ins can make a huge difference.
• Provide multiple ways for employees to share their thoughts and to provide feedback.
• If you say you are going to support the person and /or make adjustments ensure that happens.

“There is no avoidance in delay.” said Aeschylus,?Agamemnon

• If someone says they are neurodivergent/ has a neurodivergent trait or condition be aware what the next steps are in the organisation if they need or want support, training or adjustments put in place.
• Be respectful if someone does disclose they are neurodivergent as this may be the first time they have ever done so and may have required a lot strength and courage to do so.
• Don't trivialise the conversation or the content.

Blog Author

I am Amanda Kirby, CEO of?Do-IT Solutions?a tech-for-good company that delivers consultancy and guidance, training and web-based screening tools that have helped 10s of 1000s of people. We strive to deliver person-centered solutions relating to neurodiversity and wellbeing.

I am a mixed bag of experiences and skills and have 25+ years of working in the field of neurodiversity. I am a medical doctor, Professor, and have a Ph.D. in the field of neurodiversity; parent and grandparent to neurodivergent wonderful kids and am neurodivergent myself (bits of me I share!).

Theo Smith and I wrote the UK award-winning book?Neurodiversity at Work?Drive Innovation, Performance, and Productivity with a Neurodiverse Workforce. My 10th book came out called?Neurodiversity and Education?in March 2023. I was also voted one of the top 20 Thinkers by?HR magazine for 2022!

I am learning not to worry about trying to be perfect... and see now it is an unattainable goal that stops me growing and learning. I am enjoying being imperfect and accepting that.