Neuro-Negotiation

When we need the cooperation of others to achieve our goals, we have to negotiate (Leight Thompson). We negotiate to improve our situation, because if we didn't, we would be well advised to do something else. Since this is true for all parties involved in a negotiation, what can be done, therefore, to create a climate of cooperation and to bring the parties together to build a solution that is beneficial to all? Let's see what neuroscience can do for us?

Human beings have been negotiating since the dawn of time. He very quickly understood that if his survival depended on his reactions to his environment, the group he joined was a fundamental element of protection against the dangers of nature, populated in particular by animals, stronger and faster. In addition to the essential functions of our organism (breathing, heartbeat, digestion...), deep structures of the brain took charge of those qualified as survival with the three reactions of flight, fight and freeze. It is also the case of the positioning of an individual within a group, according to two dimensions: the level of self-confidence and the level of confidence in others. A third set of functions can be associated to the first two: emotions, motivations and certain memory capacities. All these functions are grouped together under the name of the automatic mental mode of our central control organ (according to Neurocognitivism). Six criteria describe it:

• Routine: mastery of what is known, of habits, which does not make one want to explore what is new...
• Perseverance: the ability to carry out one's tasks without worrying about the unexpected, which is a form of stubbornness, resistance to change.
• Simplification: by speeding up decisions in everyday situations, by a "black and white" vision that is sometimes too simple.
• Certainty: our opinions are universal and represent the truth, even if they may lead to errors of appreciation.
• Empiricism: the search for what has been proven and confidence in experiences
• Social image: what is acceptable to the group that leads to a lack of initiative for fear of being judged

The automatic mode represents a large percentage of our functioning, among other things, because the brain is lazy and very energy-efficient, especially since the latter is about 20% of what the body needs, for a single organ. It is therefore quite understandable that this energy is dedicated to tasks that require attention, concentration, reflection, creativity, in short, what takes us out of this automatic mental mode, and which responds to the adaptive mental mode. By comparison, according to Neurocognitivism, six criteria also describe it:

• Curiosity: the active search for the new, the different, the desire to discover...
• Flexibility: the ability to be open to what is not going as planned and which generates a certain acceptance of reality, even when it is disturbing.
• Nuance: no "black and white" approach.
• Relativity: understanding that we perceive a part of things and that a step back is necessary.
• Reflection: understanding our world through mechanisms and finding appropriate solutions.
• Personal opinion: assertiveness, acceptance of possible mistakes and taking a step back from the other person's viewpoint.

Let's get back to negotiation and the human being, that is, you and me. I venture a simplification to facilitate understanding of the points discussed below. Except when our lives are threatened, we function in such a way that :

• We avoiding danger
• We avoiding famine
• We procreate

Even if these elements have changed in form, and if we have to express them differently, nowadays, they remain valid and represent the essence of what we aspire to, consciously or not. Expressed differently, we could say that:

• We seek joy, pleasure, rewards...
• We flee the threat, the danger, the pain...

From this dual functioning, we can deduce a number of ideas for negotiating even more effectively. Here are six keys to strengthening our communication and sending signals to other negotiators, compatible with the functioning of their brains:

Focus on the interlocutor: showing interest in him/her, placing him/her at the centre of the debate, discovering and understanding what he/she needs, what he/she aspires to, what he/she desires, all resulting in the understanding of proposals that favour his/her gain, his/her benefit. This also includes the use of so-called "magic" words, i.e. "brain-friendly":

• You
• Your stakes, your challenges
• Your needs, your motivations, your interests
• Your image, reputation, expertise...
• Minimising investment (rather than cost), maximizing value
• Put forward the value, postpone in time the investments 
• Solutions
• Profits, gains, progression, results
• Help, take charge
• Reassure
• ...

This does not mean, of course, that our interests, our needs, our issues, our challenges should be ignored, that our desires, our aspirations should be set aside or flouted. Rather, it means that our research must carry what is mutually beneficial by emphasizing the other in this equation. As a reminder, here are the 9 key messages to apply:

• Being well prepared: your goals, your best alternative, your options, your interlocutors, the balance of power and leverage around the table...
• Being ambitious and moderate it with a reasonable and realistic approach
• Showing curiosity by increasing the quality and quantity of questions, without falling into interrogation, of course.
• Don't give, trade. Make any concession worthwhile and calm the ambition of the interlocutor by asking for compensations.
• Balancing the flows of information and concessions
• Take breaks to allow you to manage your emotions, step back and integrate new data.
• First try to cooperate with the interlocutor
• Plan your best alternative, i.e., what we would do if the discussions failed at the bargaining table.
• Multiply the number of subjects to be negotiated so as to allow exchanges between subjects on the one hand and to encourage cooperation on the other, while avoiding falling into the myth of the "fixed pie", a deleterious belief which makes people think that there is only one subject to be negotiated and which, as a result, positions the interlocutors in "competition" mode.

Simplifying messages: if our brain has generated many shortcuts (heuristics, cognitive bias), it is to respond to four concerns:

• Limiting the amount and flow of information...
• Facilitate memorisation
• Giving meaning
• Save time

We find that these concerns are consistent with the flight from threat, danger and pain. It follows that the things we face must allow for almost immediate understanding, make sense and allow for rapid reaction (action, decision). Our working memory has a limited "bandwidth", that is, an ability to remember things immediately after being exposed to them, either through reading or listening. Although this "memory span" has been measured at 7+/2, recent authors speak of 3 to 4. Therefore, putting ourselves in a favourable situation, let us first limit the number of messages to 3. Then, let's simplify them. How do we do this? First of all, make sure you only use vocabulary known to the speaker. Technical terms, acronyms, private anecdotes, jargon... should be avoided. An interesting rule is to form short sentences by replacing commas with full stops. Another technique suggests using the present and the active voice.

Surprise the interlocutor: the brain is very sensitive to anything out of the ordinary. It was a question of survival, it becomes a technique to ensure the attention of the interlocutor. Unexpected questions, original anecdotes, unusual requests can create surprise. A practical and interesting way to do this is to talk about competitive advantages, what we propose is beneficial for the discussion partner and what only we can offer.

Use the emotional register: the human being is by nature endowed with a capacity to show empathy and this sometimes goes even further. When we watch a sad, happy movie, a scene that evokes anger, fear or disgust, it is common to feel these emotions and it allows us to get more into the story. When speaking in public about a subject that is close to one's heart, one naturally makes much better use of one's non-verbal and voice, both of which are vectors of emotions. And the impact on the speakers is increased as a result.

Strengthen the beginning and the end of interactions: in relation to two cognitive biases, this idea is based on the principle of placing one's most important messages at the beginning and the end of an interaction, in order to maximize the probability that they will be retained. How many representatives of publishing houses have rejected manuscripts after reading (or forcing themselves to read) a boring beginning? How many projects, term papers, collaboration proposals are rejected because the "executive summary" is missing or lacks impact? How many presentations end with no conclusion or with a weak and empty conclusion? How many stories, novels, end with a soft or weak conclusion? When an orchestra plays music, we will more easily forgive them for mistakes that are not made at the beginning or at the end. The worst being that the musicians stop and start again, which is called "false start".

Using a wide range of senses with an emphasis on sight: we perceive the world through our senses. While sight represents the largest part of our perceptions and hearing is in second place, let's not neglect the power of touch, taste and smell. During commercial meetings in the cosmetic world, it is common to circulate products, from person to person, allowing each person to smell, feel the texture, look closely, listen to the noise (lid opening, sound of the spray...). The only sense that is not used is the taste. This allows a much faster assimilation of the technical data and a better memorisation, deeper and faster. In negotiation and in the commercial approach, let's privilege this too: samples, sound and image combinations, colours and movements attract more attention.

To sum up, in negotiation, let's reduce everything that could represent a threat to the interlocutor, which would diminish his desire to cooperate, his confidence in us and which would also reduce our potential result.

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