Networking Is Really Just Another Form of Dating!
If you recall from last month’s newsletter, where we talked about the friendzone, you might have caught on to a theme that I have going on: networking is, after all, just a more formal way of creating a relationship. When we think of the term “relationship” we tend to think of the romantic kind – your partner. And yet, there are hundreds of other kinds of relationships – friendships, family ties, and yes, even the people you network with. Networking is all about creating strong and meaningful relationships, and sometimes, it can even resemble the dating process.
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You Meet the Same Way…
For example, think about how the dating process starts. You’re at a bar, and you spot someone in the room. You have a look around the room and you exchange glances with someone else. Here, first impressions matter greatly: will you impress them? Will you make them feel like you are a good person, someone safe, someone they would like to have more conversations with? In the case of networking, you aren’t attracted to their physical appearance, but rather to the opportunities that may present themselves if you create a connection with them. It’s not about making them fall in love with you, but rather about inspiring them to continue the conversation elsewhere (via email, on LinkedIn, you name it).
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The Ice Breaker Moment
Some people are naturally gifted flirters, while others… Well, not so much. Once you exchange a few glances, it’s time to break the ice. You might be the only one ‘interested,’ or the other person may have also been exchanging glances – you both know about each other and would like to strike up a conversation. You need to break the ice in a polite and respectful way, all while keeping in mind that your first impression will stick around forever– it’s hard to break away from it! As I explained last month in response to Swire Ho (thepromoguy) , who asked about the fine line between balancing small talk versus getting stuck in the friendzone, the key is to aim for a relationship that is genuine and mutually beneficial. You aren’t coming into this conversation with the intention of being the only one who gains something from this – show this from the moment you break the ice!
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Establishing the Connection
When you start dating someone, you spend a considerable amount of time thinking about whether you are a good match. How? By looking for common interests. You go out on dates, you talk, you discuss your interests and the other person does the same with theirs, and little by little, you determine whether this is the right connection. Well, you guessed it – the connection is the same with someone you are trying to network with. You are trying to find something you have in common – what can you offer each other? How can you help this person, and what can they help you with? This relationship is more transactional than a romantic relationship, of course, but the way it is formed greatly resembles the first few dates you have with a new partner!
The Follow-Up: Keeping in Touch
The dreaded next day comes up: what do you do? Do you message your date? Do you wait a few days to avoid looking desperate? The follow-up stage is nerve-wracking: you don’t want to make the wrong move by waiting a few days, but you also don’t want to seem too eager by contacting the person right away. The perfect time will depend from one person to the next as well as how much you connected. The person may have also told you when to contact them, for example by letting you know that they will be on leave for a few days but to reach out once they are back. The process is nerve wracking, but the good news is that the worries we have rarely materialize!
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Closing the Deal: Making the Commitment
Finally, once we have had the discussion with this new person, we have two options: to solidify the professional relationship through a deal, or to decide that we aren’t compatible, meaning that we can’t do much for each other. This doesn’t mean that the relationship is over forever! Sometimes, the right person appears at the wrong time and they reappear at the right time later in life.
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Perhaps this is why we tend to worry about networking – just like dating, it’s a process that requires us to get ourselves out there and to be vulnerable! But you can be reassured: it’s rare that two people networking find that they have absolutely nothing in common. Unfortunately, I can’t guarantee that for your next few dates, as I’d be out of my depth!
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Interested in discovering more about my networking strategies? Come along as I keynote at the Breakfast Club meeting on May 15th, hosted by the City Club Los Angeles !
Click below to register!
Highlights of Events I Attended
Cesar Chavez Foundation Dinner
Chamber Board Meeting
Emerging Leaders Event at City Club LA
Pomona Chamber of Commerce Legislative Luncheon
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Meet the McLaren INDYCAR Drivers Hosted By Kroger
Rotary Club of Los Angeles (LA5) Good Sam Awards
Los Angeles Region Small Business Summit
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*These newsletters are not sponsored or intended to serve as official communications from the Los Angeles Area Chamber of Commerce. They are designed to document my personal journey and provide personal insights.
Create Mini Advocates For Your Brand | Corporate Events | Trade Show | Brand Awareness | Promotional Products Strategist | The Small Business Show Host
6 个月Thanks for the mention ?? . Hope to see you at the small business summit soon.
Executive Director, Relationship Executive-Middle Market Commercial Banking at JPMorgan Chase & Co. | Connecting Corporations with Exceptional Banking Services
6 个月Great newsletter. I have never thought of networking the same as dating but you definitely gave it a different perspective! Good job. ??