Networking For Profit

In my career, I have been fascinated with the art of effective networking. I have watched many people routinely make VERY beneficial connections …. and I have seen way too many folks completely mangle the process. So, I thought I would write down some thoughts that might help you get better results from your efforts in the future.

1) Networking Is Not The Same As Prospecting

Prospecting is for losers. Winners build and leverage relationships. You must understand that the person you are speaking with at the moment may not ever be a prospect for what you are selling, BUT they may be a connection to many people who might be good prospects down the road. However, you will never discover those people unless you first build a relationship with the person you are speaking with at the moment.

2) Don’t Collect Contacts

Rather than seeking to simply expand your business card collection or phone contact directory, you should always be seeking to expand the number of your active working relationships. Names by themselves are not beneficial. Good relationships are ALWAYS beneficial. Become an expert at “relationship mining” by finding out who others know and what they need to be successful in their world.

3) The Relationship Mining Mindset

Build a “pull” mentality where the other person seeks to know you better. You must become interesting to them. Unfortunately, most people have the “push” mentality of practically sticking their business card into the other person’s face before that person has even expressed any desire to know them better. Your business card or contact information should be asked for and then traded.

4) Think Long Term Harvest

If you are not in blatant selling mode you will actually earn more in the long run. Sell less to earn more! Networking is a process of connecting with influential people to develop symbiotic relationships. The people who do it best are the ones that become successful.

5) Be Memorable

You have to be interesting to people. Fame sells. Your goal is to become a member of the club, not a caddie! Members of the club know many people well and make sure the others know them.

6) Introverts Often Have The Advantage

This surprises many people. The key to building relationships is asking questions. Extroverts tend to want to do all the talking. Introverts, although often uncomfortable creating conversation with strangers, are better at asking questions and then being quiet to listen and respond to the answers.

7) Be A Giver Before Being A Receiver

Networking does not work without established TRUST. You need to make more deposits than withdrawals. Don’t always go for the cheese first. Seek ways to help others first. That helps you build a reputation of honor. Focus on learning about others and what they need. Then find ways to assist them with those needs, even if it excludes you for now. When you do, they will more naturally reciprocate! Build relationships before you need them! People can tell the difference between desperation and earnest attempts to create relationships.

8) Exercise Restraint

You should not let everyone into your world, and you should not automatically fit into everyone’s world either. It is nothing personal. Part of effective networking is discerning where you can help and who can help you. Think in terms of “life sharing” rather than “name collecting.” Don’t network just to network. Network with purpose! Know the right people for the right reason.

9) Gather Two Databases

Always have a “Peer List” list of people you already know and then build a list of “Aspirational Contacts.” Those are people you do not know yet, but would like to. Also understand WHY you would like to know them. Then find anchors. Anchors are people in your peer list who have a friend “Two Levels Up” or on your “Aspirational List.” Those anchors will lead to new chains of influence for you. In the early 1900’s a book titled “6 Degrees Of Separation” claimed that you are just 6 people away from anyone in the world. Here’s the math. If you know 50 people, and everyone else knows just 50 people, then your 50 people would lead to 15 million people in just six relationship steps!

10) Don’t Keep Score

People want to see if you are for real. Just focus on helping others and you will be helped. Treat others like you would like to be treated, and you will receive benefits from entirely different and unexpected places.

11) Write Notes of Introduction For People

Just jot a note on the back of your business card (or anything else you have available) and mail it to the person you are sending the referral to. That will help them know, when the referral calls them, that your relationship and referral is genuine. An email works as well, but I long preferred the quick note method when given the option. Personal notes stand out more in a depersonalized world. In addition, a gatekeeper will likely have seen the note and the referral will find it easier to make the connection.

12) Meet for Coffee

Invite new connections or referrals to meet for coffee to learn more about each other. A neutral coffee shop is a great place to chat. If the meeting goes poorly, it can be ended quickly by either party without embarrassment. If it goes well, it can easily be extended for further conversation. Even if it did not go well, never disappear. Always “ping” them now and then to see if there is any way you can help them advance their efforts. Anyone they need to meet? If you treat them well, they will often find a way to reciprocate. 80 percent of networking success is just staying in touch.

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