Networking is Like Pulling Teeth!

Networking is like pulling teeth! Or, I should say, getting people to network is like pulling teeth.

I went to the dentist this morning, and while I didn’t get any teeth pulled, I certainly felt the sentiment of the analogy. But does networking have to be like getting your teeth pulled? I don’t think so. Here’s four ways to make networking less P.A.I.N.-ful:

P – Patience – Networking requires patience. One of the reasons that networking is so painful is the excruciatingly slow nature of the response time, or complete lack of response. Many of us dive into networking enthusiastically, sending our best emails to multiple contacts during our one-hour lunch break while sitting at the coffee shop. Three hours later, mid-afternoon break, we jump over to our personal email or LinkedIn message box with high hopes of many replies, only to be crushed by the sound of crickets. Nothing. No reply—not even an acknowledgement of message received.? Should you be discouraged? Heck no. Just be patient. Realize why they haven’t they replied yet: First, no networking partner has your sense of urgency. You may be feeling pressure to make progress on your search—they don’t have that same stress right now. Second, many fully employed, fully engaged potential partners probably don’t even access personal email or LinkedIn very frequently. You’ll have to wait until they see your message. Finally, even if they see your message, something else is probably more pressing. So, should you give up? NO! Be patient. And increase your chances of by taking AIM.

A – AIM – Aim your networking outreach. How? Step 1: Create a target list of companies in which you are interested or that can meet your career objectives. Don’t narrow your search to companies that are posting jobs but create a target list of companies in which you can find a warm lead. A good place to start is companies at which your college's alumni work. Step 2: find a way to connect with alums at those companies. A few will have emails in their LinkedIn profile. You may have to “guess” their email using a site such as Hunter.io. You may have an alumni database that has their email address. Email is best, but as a last resort, you can “CONNECT” on LinkedIn and use the precious 300 character connection message box to IGNITE your contact.

I--IGNITE – Networking requires IGNITION. Whether you use email or InMail or the connection message box on LinkedIn, your initial outreach needs to ignite a response. How? Short, simple and to the point—but without just asking for a job or a lead. When composing your “hook,” find some affinity to the person you are seeking to contact by perusing their LI profile. The best way is if you have a mutual contact—get an intro. But if you don’t, you can find some affinity to pique their interest. Second, ignition requires follow up. Take me for example: I find that many times when I receive a cold email, I don’t respond to the first outreach from a cold or even warm message. I’m busy, so the message likely falls to the bottom of my email or LinkedIn messages. But for me, when the sender follows-up with a gentle nudge 3-5 days later, I usually respond. Try a different time of day, with a slightly different twist to your hook. And be patient.

An important note here. I’ve heard many networking skeptics call out the charade of job search networking. “Shouldn’t you just ask about jobs and attach your resume—you both know what this is about?” they’ll say. Consensus from most career pros: No. Even though you know, and your networking partner knows, I suggest it’s not your best approach. It would be too easy for your potential partner to say “no jobs, so no need to talk.” Your resume invites evaluation—if your partner sees no connection in your resume, then “no jobs, no need to talk.” But even more importantly, it is about mindset. This is hard, but you need to wrap your mind around networking being about information gathering and relationship, not about finding a job. For my student clients, I recommend thinking of networking as a research project for a class. A good research project requires first person interviews with experts by bringing an informed list of questions and developing insights from the interview.

N – Nurture – Finally, productive networking requires nurturing. Networking is about a relationship—a give and take—and is long term, not one-time transactional. I know you’ve heard this before, but here’s how you do it: In the first connection, you learn by asking good questions, and you subtly start building awareness of yourself as a good candidate. With a follow-up email, you thank your partner, and maybe add value to the relationship by attaching an article that your partner might find interesting. Then, maybe a month or two later, it gets more difficult. You must reach out again, wait for a reply, and then find something different and interesting to discuss this time. Your topic can be as simple as an update on your search and what you are finding about the market—what companies are hiring, what issues companies are facing, one particularly insightful tidbit you have learned from other conversations. Keep it brief—target twenty minutes for a productive call. This nurturing of the relationship establishes you as a credible, interesting viable person who the networking contact wants to help. Nice outcome.

There you go: the PAIN-ful approach to networking. Or should I call it the PAIN-free approach?