Networking is like Nicolas Cage - Sucky but Necessary
Consider for a moment, actor Nicolas Cage who is ranked 58th in the all-time box office results (according to Box Office Mojo) with an average of $41M per flick. He brings in the dollars yet is also considered the 7th Worst Actor of All-Time. So in many ways, he is challenging to deal with but necessary to bring in the money. Networking is no different; brutal but vital.
With all of the distractions about the recent college entry scandals from Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman, and others, it brought plenty of water cooler discussions about people in high positions of power and wealth yet they couldn’t seem to get legitimate help when trying to get something they wanted. I heard people say, “Doesn’t that go against the principle of ‘Your network is equal to your net worth? ‘
Many started to question, “Shouldn’t the fact that they had such powerful friends have influenced their ability to make things happen legally?”
Without getting into a philosophical discussion between character, or right and wrong, I believe one main point here is that they fell victim to a very common trap: they didn’t have as strong of a network as they thought they did.
So many people have thousands and thousands of connections, they might belong to many, even hundreds of groups, but they truly aren’t connected to a real network.
When speaking to a group of Florida State university graduate students earlier this year, we opened the floor to general questions. Over and over again, students asked,“Do we really have to network?” or “How do I network if I’m an introvert?”
This reemphasizes a point that Fransesca Gina, Harvard professor in the Negotiation, Organizations & Markets, suggested in her landmark study on Networking, "Even when people know networking is beneficial to their careers, they often don't do it.”
The problem is people don’t know what networking really is. Somewhere it is gotten this misconception that it is an extroverted activity for those people that like to show off, oversell, and be super excited.
A true network acts a shelter from the horrid storms of life like job less, sickness, failing business or more. Consider these recent statistics:
- Some estimate that 80-85% of jobs come through networking according to payscale.com
- The average closing rate for an in-person meeting is 40%
- Single mothers cited community, social support network (including family, friends, and neighbors), as one of the largest contributing factors as to helping them raise successful children
It is pretty clear people aren’t networking, but it’s time to make it easy to learn how.
Let's start with understanding the word "Network."
What is a network? The first registered usage comes in the late 1840s in connection with rivers, canals, and railways. The expanded use of the word network into more complex systems does arrive until nearly 100 years later. This historical language lesson drives home the point: both definitions matter. At its base, the word network combines two other root words (net + work). It’s in the combination of both the noun (net) and the verb (work) that gives it power.
Here are three hacks you can implement today so you can implement the "Net + work" more concept in your business and life.
Hack #1: Focus on Real Currency
Connecting with someone on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, or others is generally free. And something that has a market value of basically zero is worthless. Further, getting someone’s email address is only slightly better. On the other hand, having a person’s cell phone number is like gold or precious jewels. You can always measure the level of a relationship by their responsiveness to a text. Case in point, I grew up with the Killer’s frontman and lead singer, Brandon Flowers. We were at one time good friends. I doubt if I texted him that he would respond. Do I know him? Yes. Is he a connection? Yes. Is he in my network? No.
Hack #2: Give, Give, Give
I had a friend called me suddenly telling me he had lost his job. We started to strategize about next steps, and I asked him “how’s your network? Who can you call Lon quickly to get advice?” There was silence on the other end. He confessed that he really didn’t have a strong network. And that he’d always just stayed focused on the job he was doing. Don’t wait until you need something for your network to start actually connecting visit. This is why tip number two is “give, give, gift.“ strategize about next steps, and I asked him “how is your network? Who can you call Lon quickly to get advice?“ Within your network, find opportunities to give to your network connections rather than take. If you had a garden, you will not reap a plentiful harvest if you haven’t done the daily work at ensuring your crop receives the nurture and service it needs. Your network is the same way. Reach out to your network with the goal to find the way to help their business or help them personally. Ask them outright, “What can I do to refer you business?”
Hack #3: Ask Those Magic Questions
Often times I hear people say “I don’t know what to say when meeting someone or connecting with them online.” This common fear can be tackled by having your own script (and a lot of practice). Rather the boring “what do you do” canned questions, try a different strategy. In Vanessa van Edwards’ book Captivate, she describes the concept of magic questions. These questions inspire confidence in both parties and allow for open ended dialogue back next people as a post to close ended questions that actually hurt connectability . For example, here are a couple magic questions I use all the time:
- Other than your work, tell me about your big passion project?
- Talk to me about something that’s been inspiring you lately?
Remember, “Net + Work” is a step-by-step process and something you must do daily to get the full benefits. Don’t simply focus on increasing your followers or LinkedIn connections. Today, try to reach out to two or three people in your network with some of the magic questions and the “give, give, give” principle. Watch what happens over time. Networking is not about instantaneous results but rather, it’s about the long game.
A version and concepts from this article originally posted on Forbes on May 9th, 2019