Networking includes updating friends and family on what you do

I think of myself as pretty good at networking – after all, it’s one of my most popular workshop topics. I also am a small business owner who gets the vast majority of her business from referrals. Finally, as a longtime recruiter I have gotten the best candidates from referrals. So, of course, I know the value of networking and still…mistakes can be made.

Early on in my coaching business, one of my closest friends mentioned their firm just hired a coaching firm. Wait, WHAT? My friend is a top executive there. Why didn’t I get to bid for that? “I didn’t know you did that type of work,” my friend said.

This is an important lesson to learn now -- before you miss the next opportunity to pitch! Even your closest friends may not know what you do. Most of us don’t pitch our professional backgrounds in the middle of a social call, so why would we assume that our friends know and (most importantly) remember what we do for a living? They don’t!

Even if your closest friends do know what you do, they’re busy with their own careers. They’re not looking at job postings with you in mind. When was the last time you referred a friend for a job? Or unsolicited, helped a friend with their career goals? The reality is that most of us are too busy and focused on ourselves to help others. You have to remind people that you’re looking and tell people explicitly what you’re looking for.

Finally, even if your closest friends know all about your job search (or in my case, my business) and swear up and down that they are looking out for you, do they have your latest details or an easy way to share what you do? Do they know how to describe what you offer in a compelling and concise way? The likely answer is they don't have these resources, and why should they?

You have to help people help you. Make sure that if they do offer to make an introduction, you coach them on what to say. Don’t make them do the work of presenting you. Make it easy for them and productive for you.

Caroline Ceniza-Levine helps experienced professionals in tech, media, financial services and other industries find work they love and earn more doing it. Caroline is a Senior Contributor to Forbes Leadership and an adjunct at Columbia University. Visit the Dream Career Club to learn more.