Networking: How to Use Your Natural Curiosity to Create Value for Others

What comes to mind when you think of a “great networker?”?

Now here’s the question …?

How accurate is that image?

For many, those words conjure up an image of a smooth talker confidently striding into a room of 100 people and walking away having interacted with well over half of them.

That isn’t necessarily an accurate picture. In fact, it could be the reason why, for some, networking has a negative connotation.?

When you network the “stereotypical” way, most of the interactions are going to feel forced, transactional, and sometimes even exploitative.

“Stereotypical” networkers often view networking as a sales event and measure the value of each interaction by how much value they can extract from the other person.

"The currency of real networking is not greed but generosity." -- Keith Ferrazzi

Here we introduce you to how networking really works.

Revolutionize Your Networking Mindset

In contrast to the example above, the best networkers enter events with a single goal: To walk into the room and provide as much relevant, meaningful value as possible to at least ten people”.

Networking should be an opportunity to?provide?value, not?take?it.

But what does that value look like? It depends on the conversation, but it’s usually pretty simple.?

For example:

·???????You could offer resources to someone that might help with a challenge they’re facing. If, for example, you met someone who was struggling to balance time with their kids with an all-consuming work life, you could send them an article you read on that very topic.

·???????Or maybe you can offer on-the-spot advice. If someone shares that they’re having trouble maintaining relationships within their growing team, you might tell them about how you dealt with the problem.

·???????Or you can even offer a potential introduction.?

Most entrepreneurs are driven by a genuine desire to help others.?That’s why they started their business in the first place, but it’s also why traditional networking is so uncomfortable for them.

By changing your mindset — from?taking?to?giving?— you can change your thought patterns and perceptions around the whole practice of networking.

Five Specific Ways to Walk into a Networking Event & Start a Conversation

#1: Talk to the First Person You See (No Matter Who They Are)

If these events don’t come naturally to you, it’s easy to get stuck in your own head.

If that sounds like you, you can overcome this tendency by?forcing yourself to talk to the first person you see.?

For example: Someone you notice while walking from your Lyft to the event, or whoever you’re standing behind in the registration queue.

So just start with something simple like, “What brought you to the event?” You’ll be able to get into deeper conversations later on using the momentum this first conversation gives you.

#2: Master the 5 Second Rule

Here’s a great way to turn networking into a game: Create a rule for yourself that, once you make eye contact with someone,?you?must?go up to them and talk to them within 5 seconds.

And then add another rule: You’re not allowed to do?anything?else?until this conversation happens. Eventually you’ll have a new habit triggered by eye contact, so that anytime it happens, you’ll automatically walk over.

The benefit of this is that it overrides one of the primary factors limiting us from taking action: The fear of what “might happen” or what someone “might think.”

After all: When all you’ve got is 5 seconds to act, there’s no time for worry.

#3: Remember: You’re Your Own Worst Critic (and Progress Trumps Perfection)

So often, people get stuck in their own heads as they worry about how they might be perceived. As a result, we try to come up with the?perfect?approach, however:?Perfectionism is often paralysing, and that paralysis often leads to missed opportunities.

The reality is no one’s judging your every move or word. In fact, half the attendees are probably too busy worry about what?you?think about?them?to bother judging you.

Remember: Everyone at the event has the same goal as you: To meet new people and establish valuable relationships.?

Don’t let perfectionism get in the way of performance.

#4: Don’t Get Caught Off Guard

One of the most common obstacles people encounter is not knowing what to say to start a conversation.?

You don’t need a new opening statement for every conversation.

Pick one or two “default” conversation starters and rely on those. This helps you overcome the often-paralysing fear of not knowing what to say and gets you back in the game.

Here’s a few examples of default questions you could ask to start a conversation:

• “What brought you out here today?”?Although a little bland, this question is a safe starter that often gives you enough context about the person to dig a little deeper.
• “How did you spend last weekend?”?This question often catches people off-guard (in a good way) and can be a great starter to get people talking about their passions without being too invasive.
• “Hey, can I ask you a question?”?Of course, most people will say yes, and you’ll have an open door to continue the conversation. A great follow-up to this is, “I’m feeling a little out of my comfort zone when I am in a networking event, do you have any tip that work for you?

Note: The key here is to?ask questions you’re?genuinely?interested in.?Authenticity is the name of the game, and high-quality people can almost always tell when you are not.

#5: Boost Your Natural Curiosity and Interest in Others

We’re all born with a natural curiosity. For proof of this, look no further than kids: They don’t hesitate to ask questions, “appropriate” or not.?

But over the years, societal expectations dampen that curiosity.?

It’s?your?job to reclaim it.

Here’s one simple-but-effective way to boost your natural curiosity: Before you walk into the room,?proactively choose to be curious about something that genuinely interests you, then create a default question centred around that topic.

For example: You might decide you want to learn more about prospecting. More specifically, you want to know how start-ups of difference sizes landed their first ten customers. Your question might be something like, “I’m curious: Back when you founded your start-up, what did you do to land your first ten customers?”

When you’re genuinely curious and hungry for knowledge, you’re going to be much more likely to not only initiate a conversation; you’re going to stay engaged through to the end.

Another way to approach it, it could be to enter each networking event with the goal of?uncovering at least one fascinating story from a stranger.

There’s a famous Chinese proverb that says, “Beneath every gravestone lies a world history.”?

Make it your goal to discover pieces of that history by intentionally seeking out the most exciting or intriguing stories others have to share.