NETWORKING AND THE GOLDEN RULE

There are so many truisms of how to be successful in business from polar opposite perspectives.  The negative point of view like “nice guys finish last” or “never give a sucker an even break” is more a statement about being a con man rather than a road map to success.  I am not going to spend much time on this other than to say that following this philosophy will only ensure that no one will do business with you a second time.  The word will also get around. 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of con men out there, looking for a short cut, fast money and their next victim.  Karma eventually catches up with them. 

Here’s a quick lesson- if you are victimized by one of these con men, don’t waste your positive energy trying to get revenge.  They are elusive and probably litigation proof.  If there is the potential of recouping your money by all means do so but don’t throw good money after bad.  It’s like chasing your money when you are having a bad streak of luck at a casino.  You can’t win. 

Another and more common approach is the quid pro quo philosophy.  In theory this means equal value for equal value.  In reality it means that you are bargaining with me for the least I can I do.  Most people who approach you with a proposition that is quid pro quo are looking for an “edge” in the deal.  They have no intention of either giving or getting equal value.  Proceed with caution.  There may be a deal that works for you but likely not a friend. 

Similarly you will be approached by people who will say “I’ll take care of you.”  If this is a business transaction and they do not answer your question as to how it will work out for you, this statement actually translates into “I’m not going to take care of you.”  These people want to get more than their fair share at your expense otherwise why aren’t they being forthright with you?  Greed is not a good motivation for long term relationships. 

Most of my friends have the opposite view.  They would prefer to be more inclusive and share the opportunity.  I don’t expect anything for helping out one of my friends by connecting them to another contact or opportunity but it is amazing how many of them recognize what I do. This only serves to try to help them even more. 

I would rather have somebody say, “What a great guy.  He included me in the deal when he didn’t have to” than “What a pr***!  I’m never going to help him again!” 

It is obvious which approach encourages networking and more opportunities. 

This inclusive approach is part of the golden rule that I will characterize as “it is better to give than receive.” 

This sounds counter intuitive to “getting ahead”.  

If someone helps me out of the goodness of his heart, I remember this.  Quite often I will tell others about it.  Most importantly, if there is ever an opportunity to reciprocate, I do with appreciation.  We all remember a good turn as much as a bad turn although we do talk about a bad deed more. 

In fact when someone helps me out when they don’t need to or just because they can, I go out of my way to try to do more for him.  It is way beyond quid pro quo and is done with enthusiasm. 

People are not stupid.  It doesn’t take long to figure out someone’s motivation.  A person who is totally absorbed in his own self-interest will be obvious to others and should beware the Ides of March.  On the other hand, the job for someone who is 100% altruistic was taken by Mother Teresa.  We just need to be balanced in our approach.  Self-interest creates ambition.  That’s not a bad thing. 

My friend, Ted Manziaris is a perfect example of someone who lives his life with joy and can never say no to a good cause.  Ted has the right attitude.  When he walks into a room, it lights up.  When Ted says that he is happy to see you, you can feel the warmth and sincerity.  Ted helps people with absolutely no expectation that they reciprocate.  He also enjoys many friends who help him willingly. 

Ted is one of the best marketers I know.  Once he invited me to use his box at the Air Canada Centre for a Raptors’ basketball game.  

“Invite anyone you want,” he said with glee.  “Your friends are my friends.” 

Ted put out a fantastic spread that included the usual fare of hot dogs but there was also sushi and other wonderful snacks. 

During the course of the evening the sellers came around to get people to buy 50/50 tickets.  Ted announced that he would buy a ticket for everybody.  

When the ticket seller came over to me, Ted said, “I’ll buy his ticket.” 

Before I knew it Ted had bought a ticket and had handed it to me. 

I turned to Ted and said, “Teddy, it’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture but you are entertaining a lot of my friends at your cost but I really don’t need you to buy me a ticket after all that you have done.” 

I handed the ticket back to Ted and patted him on the back. 

Later in a lull in the game they announced the winning ticket for the 50/50 draw.  The prize was around $5,000.  Someone in the box said that he was close and the he missed the number by one digit.  Then someone else said the same thing.  It then dawned on me that Teddy had left the box to wander around to some other boxes and socialize.  Since he bought a ticket and the two tickets with numbers on either side of the winning were in our box, the chances were that Teddy had the winning number. 

I called Teddy on his cell phone, “Teddy, what’s the number on your 50/50 ticket.” 

He told me and I checked it out. 

“Teddy,” I said.  “You just won the 50/50 draw.” 

I heard a loud whooping sound on his end of the conversation and then he said, “I’ll split it with you.” 

I thanked Teddy and told him, “I appreciate the gesture Teddy but I appreciate it more that you invited us all down to game and congratulations, keep the money.” 

That was typical of Teddy that the first thing out of his mouth was an offer to share the winnings.  It was totally selfless and natural.  That’s why people loved Teddy and would do anything for him. 

If I could pick a poster boy for the “golden rule philosophy”, it would be Ted.  He is also the optimal model for the “glass is completely full” school.  He is the ultimate optimist. 

He started his business when he first graduated from university.  The business was Teddy and his mother’s K car.  Teddy is a great marketer and instinctively and without fear would boldly go and meet people. 

One day, he was contacted by Maple Leaf Gardens.  Teddy had passed his business card to one of the executives.  They had a concert date coming up quickly and the usual waste management company had not been able to do the cleanup.  Not knowing that Teddy’s company was him and his mother’s car asked him if he could do the job.  Confidently, Teddy answered that he could. 

When the concert was over Teddy made over 300 trips to the dump with his mother’s car and got the job done.  He received a phone call the next day from Maple Leaf Gardens.  The executive told Teddy that he had done such a good job that when their current contract expired they would let Teddy’s company bid on the contract. 

Since then Teddy grew his company into multi-million dollar company, Turtle Island Recycling. 

Karma is real!