Networking Is Not A Dirty Word

Given how personal connections can profoundly shape our lives, it's curious that so many people still approach networking with doubt and negativity.

When I mention the word networking in both professional and social circles these are the kinds of things I often hear:?

“I hate networking.”

“Networking is a waste of time.”?

“Networking makes me feel sleazy and icky.”

“Networking makes me feel like I’m using people.”

“I’m an introvert. Networking isn’t for me.”

Here’s the thing - when we have resistance to something in life, it’s important to lean in and observe ourselves with curiosity. One great way to do this is to ask yourself powerful questions.

An example of how to do this with the topic of networking is:?

What meaning am I giving to the word networking?

What assumptions am I possibly making about networking?

Are these assumptions serving me? Or getting in my way?

What’s a more empowering way I can think about networking??

These questions help to course correct the way we are thinking about a given topic. They also? give us the opportunity to consciously choose to adopt a more empowering belief which will help us to shift our thoughts, feelings and actions.?

Networking, like many things in life, is influenced by the energy a person brings to the activity.?

Let’s take money as an example.?

Money acts like a mirror—it reflects and magnifies who a person already is. If someone is rude, selfish, and condescending, being affluent makes these traits even more prominent. Many of us have likely experienced an uncomfortable moment at a restaurant with someone like this—it can be quite embarrassing.

On the other hand, when someone is kind, compassionate, and generous, having financial resources amplifies these qualities too. Hopefully we’ve all had the experience of someone who treats us to a special evening out, a coveted sporting event, or even a bucket list vacation.?

In both cases, the circumstance itself is neutral—money isn’t inherently good or bad, it simply amplifies a person’s existing character.?

The same is true for networking. It’s not a shady or manipulative practice reserved for self-serving people, nor does it have to feel like a pushy sales pitch.

In order to be successful at networking, it’s important to create an empowering definition in your mind that supports the outcome you’d like to create. That outcome can run the gamut from an introduction for an open position you have your eye on, to an investment in your startup, and everything in between.

The definition I’d like to offer you is simple: networking = making new friends.?

If we look at the above quotes through this lens, here’s what people are actually saying:?

“I hate making friends.”

“Making friends is a waste of time.”?

“Making friends makes me feel sleazy and icky.”

“Making friends makes me feel like I’m using people.”

“I’m an introvert. Making friends isn’t for me.”

Sounds pretty ridiculous, right??

No matter where you fall on the introvert-extrovert spectrum, we all need community and social connection to thrive. It’s through relationships that we get most of our opportunities in life.?

Building professional connections often works out best if we start with a personal touch. When we meet someone new, it’s helpful to look for common ground—maybe they're from our hometown, enjoy the same sports, or have kids at our alma mater. These shared interests create a foundation for friendship and trust, which can then naturally evolve into a professional relationship.

Invitation

Play around with adopting this new definition of networking as a way to meet new friends. Approach the next social engagement you go to, be it personal or professional, with this mindset and notice how it shifts your energy. It will also likely shift the way people respond to you. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised!?

Share in the Comments

What’s one thing you do to make networking feel more authentic? Share it with us in the comments below.?

See you next Thursday!

Craig