Networking Alchemy: Why Connecting is Golden

Please read this if you're looking to connect with people; and you feel trepidation about that.

Still reading? Chances are, you're a job seeker (except you're not: more on that in my next post on this topic).

In this article, I’ll explore why reaching out for job opportunities isn't begging, but rather creating value. I’ll? also look at how to reframe your perspective and approach networking more confidently.

The Mental Hurdle

It can be hard to reach out to someone you know—perhaps well—and ask them for an introduction to a third party. "Hi, I'm looking for a job. I'd love to talk to you about your company." Some variation of that.?

We're often inhibited in our "ask" because, in our heart of hearts, it feels like begging. Take a moment and reflect on how that word–"begging"–makes you feel. I don't love it either.?

But here's the good news: you're not begging. You're epic and you know it (hopefully). However, we often get tripped up because:

• Either you haven't tapped into your cheerleading squad recently.?
• Or, most likely, you're thinking about it the wrong way.?

Reframing the "Ask" as an "Offer"

Let's put it in the most stark terms possible. When companies are hiring, they're looking for people who will help them grow. It's all about the money. Think of it this way: you're offering your service to help the company thrive. Don't we then have a beautiful alignment of incentives?

Am I begging for your attention right now? No, I'm offering advice, and you're sufficiently interested in the prospect of value that you're still reading. Win-win. "Incentives are aligned", in coaching-speak. See how that works?

A Quick Case Study

Let's imagine a scenario to illustrate this point. I'd love to talk to Lauren Stoller at Brigit, and it turns out that my good friend Trent Lowe is a connection in common.

If Trent were asking me for a connection to Lauren, of course, I'd make the introduction. They're both good people. And if Trent ends up being a great fit for Brigit, Lauren will be super-grateful to me.?

This is why so many of the Silicon Valley companies pay bonuses for employee referrals. Yup, it's hard for a job seeker to attract the attention of a recruiter. It's also time-consuming for the recruiters to find people who will be a great fit.

So, in my "I'm the connector" scenario, I'm a hero because I introduced Trent to Brigit. Doesn't that mean that Trent would be a hero if he introduced me to her?

The Win-Win-Win Scenario

When you approach networking from this perspective, everyone benefits:

• Lauren's found a great person to join the team (and may get a referral bonus for it).
• Trent's helped someone he cares about.
• I have a paycheck.?

There's a nuance here: people love to be useful. Make sure you ask for something you're reasonably sure they can help with. You can always ask for something else!

What's the Key Takeaway?

What's the TL;DR?: Change your perspective. You're not asking; you're offering. You're here to help, and everyone benefits.

Want to connect? Fancy a virtual coffee-date? Hit me up.

Thanks to Trent for making the connection and Lauren for her feedback on an earlier draft of this article. It takes a village to write an article, and Hillary Read 's great insight into people wanting to be helpful was a key idea.