Netflix Wants Your Attention Span — But Only Half of It

How Netflix perfected the art of entertaining the distracted masses.

In today’s fast-paced world, where multitasking is the norm and undivided attention is an endangered species, Netflix has decided to double down on catering to our collective distraction. According to reports, Netflix execs are urging screenwriters to have characters announce their actions out loud—presumably for the benefit of viewers who are too busy doomscrolling or folding laundry to actually watch the show they’ve queued up. Because why should you watch a movie when you can half-listen to it, right?

And if that wasn’t enough, Netflix has apparently curated a niche micro-genre called "casual viewing," specifically designed for those who see TV as more of a vibe than an experience. It’s the entertainment equivalent of a screensaver: nice to have on in the background, but nothing you’ll regret missing when you inevitably zone out.

Announce, Don’t Show

So much for "show, don’t tell," the golden rule of storytelling. In Netflix’s brave new world of distracted audiences, subtlety is the enemy. Why bother with clever visual cues or nuanced dialogue when you can have your characters narrate their every move like they’re auditioning for a daytime soap?

"I’m opening the door now," the protagonist says, hand already on the knob. "Oh no, there’s a monster behind it! I’m screaming because I’m terrified!" Truly gripping stuff.

This isn’t just storytelling for dummies—it’s storytelling for people who are too busy texting to notice plot points unfolding before their eyes. Why challenge the audience when you can spoon-feed them the narrative through dialogue that doubles as a play-by-play?

The Rise of “Casual Viewing”

Netflix’s thousands of micro-genres are already infamous for being oddly specific (“Strong Female Lead in a Historical Drama With a Tragic Ending” or “Bingeable British Murder Mysteries Featuring Dogs,” anyone?), but “casual viewing” takes the cake. This category is tailor-made for content that’s easy to digest while you’re scrolling Instagram or assembling an IKEA bookshelf. Think lightweight rom-coms, formulaic procedurals, and anything where the plot moves slower than a tortoise on Ambien.

It’s a brilliant marketing strategy, really. Netflix knows its audience is full of multitaskers who’d rather half-watch something mediocre than fully commit to a masterpiece. Why go head-to-head with HBO’s prestige dramas or Apple TV’s artsy experiments when you can dominate the space of "shows you kind of watch while doing something else"?

The Death of Immersion

Sure, this approach might make sense for Netflix’s bottom line, but what does it mean for storytelling? Is this the death knell for immersive cinema? Are we doomed to a future where every show is written like a radio play, designed to be half-ignored by a half-attentive audience?

What’s next? Characters who pause mid-dialogue to say, "Hey, you! Yes, you scrolling TikTok. Pay attention! This part is important!" Maybe Netflix will introduce a "Did You Miss That?" feature that summarizes missed plot points every time you check your phone. Or perhaps we’ll see the rise of "ambient TV," where entire shows consist of soothing visuals and ASMR-like narration designed to relax you without engaging you.

Congratulations, You Played Yourself

Ironically, this trend might be a self-fulfilling prophecy. By training viewers to expect content that doesn’t demand their full attention, Netflix is creating an audience that’s even less likely to pay attention. It’s a vicious cycle: the more we consume casual, low-stakes entertainment, the harder it becomes to focus on anything meaningful.

So, here’s to Netflix, the ultimate enabler of our distracted lifestyles. With their new "announce what you’re doing" writing strategy and a category tailor-made for half-watching, they’ve truly captured the zeitgeist of our ADHD-addled era. Who needs art when you can have background noise?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to scroll Twitter while a Netflix rom-com plays softly in the background. I’ll let you know if anything important happens—assuming the characters announce it.